Touch Football Time

The NFL, with its uncanny ability to invent mumbo jumbo speak, has come up with a tortured term for this time of the year, dubbing it “Organized Team Activities” (OTAs). A true mouthful of Spam. Do they have high level meetings that decide stuff like this? Does it take a staff of ten or is it the work of one magna cum-laude from BoringAsHell, University named Mr. Extremely Bland, PhD.

What we really have happening, beginning today, is touch football. No hittie, no feelie. The linemen are allowed to push and pull a bit, but everyone else has to keep the lumber in the shed.

Ergo, we will not be seeing the winner of an epic collision between Navorro Bowman and Anthony Dixon. What we will see is how quickly each of them picks up the defensive/offensive scheme and how close they are to being where they should be on any particular run or pass play. We may get a glimpse of how strong or agile Mike Iupati is when he goes against the tricky and abusive Justin Smith.

But the top ticket, as always, will be the QB/WR vs DBs show. We’ll see how Taylor Mays looks in coverage and whether he’s put some grease on those reportedly stiff hips and added some hands to his skill set. We’ll see how much chemistry our QBs and WRs have managed to develop in their sneaky off season workouts. We’ll wait breathlessly for Alex Smith to overthrow his first receiver, bringing out a crescendo of venom from the blog boo birds. How comfortable David Carr looks running the offense. How sensational, unbelievable, fantastic, super magnifico Nate Davis looks on a 50 yard laser to the post, bringing out an encore effort from the anti-Smith crowd, oooohing and ahhhhing with some hyperbolic visions of the future. We’ll get a glimpse of the WR pecking order among Jason Hill, Brandon Jones, and Kyle Williams.

Since this is the Outsider blog, whose press pass is located in an imaginary knothole in cyberspace, we can only speculate when offering the suggestion that the primary activity which will occur this week will be a humongous amount of bellowing by the coaches. Who will be the loudest? Can Kurt Schottenheimer still bring the tonsils? It was during this bellowing period last year that doubts sprung up about the much ballyhooed Bear Pascoe’s ability to cut it at the NFL level. Doubts which did not subside and eventually led to him turning in his playbook and slumping out to the street with a pink slip in his hands.

It was also last year in this non-violent version of football, that Walt Harris somehow managed to tear his ACL doing not much of anything and end up on IR for the year. So, although not a whole lot can be positively gleaned from these coming days, some real bad shit can definitely happen.

At any rate, it’s finally something almost real to get the old dentures wrapped around and do some speculative gumming. Oh wait, some of you out there are still youngsters with super white day glo mostly intact choppers. Excuse me. Well, belly up to the trough like a starved wart hog and get down to some serious gnawing.

Stand aside! Hide the women and children! It’s OTA Time!



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25 comments on “Touch Football Time
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    One thing that will be interesting is to see how we use LeRoy Vann. Will they use him at TB or CB or both?

    Even more suspenseful will be del mar dennis’s takes. A good time should be had by all!

  2. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Berger, funny you should mention Vann. I had a reference to him and the amount of posts that would be salivating for info about him, but I edited it out at the last minute. He’s definitely this year’s Kory Sheets, only much more employable and explosive.

  3. DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Mr. Extremely Bland, PhD.? I think that’s the name of my therapist. He always wears a Detroit Tiger’s cap and tells me he was once magn um-P.I.

  4. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    You have a therapist, Dennis? I thought you WERE a therapist. Or have you gone on the wagon? In which case, a therapist could be necessary.

  5. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Dennis went on the wagon, unfortnately, I fell off. I’ll be catching it again soon. I have give up either eating or drinking. In the past it was eating I stopped, these days it has been drinking. But one advantage to drinking is it makes me stupid enough to have a conversation with some on these blogs, like thnkbig! I tried to confab with him while drunk Saturday night, but I woke up on Sunday morning and deleted a couple of my own posts. One can only demean themselves so much.

  6. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink
    For fellows whom it hurts to think:
    Look into the pewter pot
    To see the world as the world’s not.
    And faith, ’tis pleasant till ’tis past:
    The mischief is that ’twill not last.
    Oh I have been to Ludlow fair
    And left my necktie God knows where,
    And carried half way home, or near,
    Pints and quarts of Ludlow beer:
    Then the world seemed none so bad,
    And I myself a sterling lad;
    And down in lovely muck I’ve lain,
    Happy till I woke again.
    Then I saw the morning sky:
    Heigho, the tale was all a lie;
    – A. E. Housman
    .
    Always liked that poem. Spent quite a few nights in my life lying in the lovely muck (or driving the porcelain bus). Thnkbg is one of those guys who come rolling into the blog world each year and get a bang out of being an idiot and pissing everyone off. We’ll see if he has V’s staying power or drifts away like a poof in a month or two.

  7. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Berger, it’d be fun to do an RIP bit on past bloggers who roared and bellowed for three or four months, then disappeared forever. It’s funny how none of their names come to mind, though. I remember a guy 3 years ago who used to do these incredibly long, insane crack/coke rambles from midnight to dawn, but I can’t think of his name. Wait, it just came to me: JoFrMo or something like that. He disappeared around the time the season started and never came back.

  8. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    I liked JoFrMo, too. He was very eloquent about people with serious addiction problems. It’s just that some of those late night rambles could give you an all day migraine if you tried to read them before your eyes were fully and completely adjusted to the day. Poe could certainly have waxed on at length and in the key of E minor about drinking, but I think only sober guys write about it. Drinkers just drink. Houseman was an English teacher’s kind of guy.

  9. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    I’m starting to think I’m the only sports nut who has neither read nor seen “The Blind Side.” Uplifting stories give me hives, generally.

  10. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    JoFroMo was a woman! Seriously, she was. At least, she wasn’t afraid to tell us she was. She made an appearance a couple of months ago for a day or too.

    There was a guy on Maiocco’s site named Darren, he was a nut case. I’m a republican and I couldn’t stand his very long, delusinal Republican rants.

  11. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    NoFear- I drank last Saturday and actually tried to converse with thnkbg!

  12. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    NoFear, it’s a little clunky, but you can make paragraphs by the easy way: put a period on a line by itself and hit enter. Or the html way by putting br on a line by itself, inside the greater than/less than symbols “<>“.

    Wa la.

  13. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs- I tried the br with and it didn’t work. I’ll try it again right now.

    Also, I thoght wa la was spelled voila!

  14. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I didn’work.

  15. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Go for the period then, Berg. Voila is only used by educated people who want to befuddle the ThnkBgs of the world. If he can hear it, he will come.

  16. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Paragraph.
    .
    Paragraph.

  17. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Wahh Lah!

  18. rob_No Gravatar says:

    ha , i know what a viola is ! it’s like a little violin !

  19. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, Rob. Nice to see somebody else with an avatar here. Not your usual kind – if there is a usual with you.

  20. rob_No Gravatar says:

    skeebs , dude , i saw your pic too ! you should try to do something about that , maybe a make-over !? at least think about it for the wife’s sake , you look kinda like the michelin man !

    i like your prose here , nice blog ! (i’m not sure about mentioning people who don’t even know you have site yet tho !?)

  21. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    I’ll take Michelin Man, Rob. Tough guy. Actually, it’s a drawing that has quite a history. It comes from a local magazine I did back in the 70’s called Read and Wipe, later retitled Sideshow Magazine. I had lost the original art (which was much more distinct) and had to cut a copy out of a newsprint old issue of the mag, scan it through my hi-tech Travel Scan, and blow it up 200%. Lost a bit in the journey. I’m working on it, though.

  22. rob_No Gravatar says:

    oh ! ;D

  23. FranchiseNo Gravatar says:

    Let’s hope we get a glimpse of the 2008 model of Mays, and not the 2009. Kind of like when the mustang in 1996 went to the de-tuned 4.6 instead of the tried and true 5.0 hammer.

  24. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Franchise, I listened to all the negative talk about Mays between January and the draft and felt like there’s no way we draft him. Then we did and somehow it felt like hey, great! In depth fan brain at work here.

  25. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebers- I didn’t want Mays, but I was thinking he would go in round 1. As a middle 2nd rounder the risk is mitigated. I actually loved the pick.

2021 Schedule
09/12 - 10:00 AM @ DET
09/19 · 10:00 AM @ PHI
09/26 · 5:20 PM v GB
10/03 · 1:05 PM v SEA
10/10 · 1:25 PM @ AZ
10/17 BYE
10/24 · 5:20 PM v IND
10/31 · 10:00 AM @ CHI
11/07 · 1:25 PM v AZ
11/15 · 5:15 PM v LAR
11/21 · 10:00 AM @ JAX
11/28 · 1:25 PM v MIN
12/05 · 5:20 PM @ SEA
12/12 · 10:00 AM @ CIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
 
2020 Prognostications (Mulligan Version)
WINNERS:
Bullit: 6-10
NJ49er: 6-10

LOSERS:
Skeebers: 7-9
Winder: 4-12

ABSTAINERS:
Grumpy: DNP
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