Sgt. Pepper vs the Blue Meanies

Posted on December 5, 2013 by Skeebers — 67 Comments ↓

The Richter Scale crowds in Seattle are making a mockery of competitive fairness in the NFL. It’s one thing for the home crowd to make it difficult for an opposing offense to operate, but quite another to make it flat out impossible. The lopsided nature of this advantage has turned the NFC playoffs into pretty much a foregone conclusion. Which is bad for business.

The 49ers have a chance to bring Seattle back to earth this Sunday, but it would surprise me if they do. The team’s running game has been stuffed three weeks in a row and the passing game, while certainly better than it was, is nowhere close to being a juggernaut.

The season long inability of this team to beat teams with winning records also factors against a 49er victory Sunday. Win or lose, they will still probably make it into the playoffs, but they have yet to demonstrate they belong in the elite 12.

Something has to give Sunday. The Seahawks haven’t beaten the Niners at Candlestick since 2008, Mike Singletary’s first game as HC, and the famous pants dropping half time speech. On the other hand, Colin Kaepernick has never beaten the Seahawks, losing badly in two efforts, both of them occurring in Seattle. This game is a chance for him to play them on a level playing field. Coming away with a victory might not save this season for the team, but it would bode well for the future.

The two NFC wild card teams will both be better than the division winning entries from the NFC North and East. This is not the case in the AFC, where one of the entries will be from among the two 6-6 teams or one of the 5-7 hanger ons. Both conferences are top-heavy, with about four or five good teams each and a cast of nobodies underneath.

Rookie WR Quinton Patton is practicing again, back from a broken foot earlier in the year. It does not appear he will be activated for any of the remaining four games of the season, though. Barring an injury to the big three (Michael Crabtree, Anquan Boldin, Mario Manningham) or special teams ace Kassim Osgood, our erstwhile 4th WR on a team that rarely ever uses 3 WR sets, let alone 4. If Patton stays inactive, it will mark the second straight year the 49ers have drafted a WR who made zero catches in his maiden year. Technically, Patton has made ONE catch this year, but why stand on a technicality?

Scot McCloughan may or may not be in attendance for Sunday’s games, but he helped build both of the rosters on the field. At that 2008 game, he was in the first year of his disastrous GM role for the 49ers, elevated from back stage talent evaluator — his specialty — to front line GM — his downfall. A living example of the Peter Principle.

Core members of the 49ers recruited by him are still on the team: Frank Gore, Joe Staley, Adam Snyder, Alex Boone, Tarell Brown, Vernon Davis, Ray McDonald, Patrick Willis, and Crabtree. McCloughan also reeled in FA stalwart Justin Smith. Not sure which members of the Seahawks he has had a hand in drafting over the past three years, but Seattle’s drafts have been excellent during his time up there, which is probably not a coincidence.

Tagged with: Adam Snyder, Alex Boone, Anquan Boldin, Colin Kaepernick, Frank Gore, Joe Staley, Justin Smith, Kassim Osgood, Mario Manningham, Michael Crabtree, Mike Singletary, Patrick Willis, Quinton Patton, Ray McDonald, San Francisco 49ers, Scot McCloughan, Seattle Seahawks, Tarell Brown, Vernon Davis
Posted in Game Previews

49ers 23, Rams 13

Posted on December 2, 2013 by Skeebers — 76 Comments ↓

In like a lion, out like a lamb. And so it came to pass, as the San Francisco 49ers sent the red hot St. Louis Rams bleating and whimpering into the sunset, 23-13.

The 49er defense had yet another outstanding afternoon, holding the Rams to six points and 122 net yards through the first three quarters and not allowing the Rams into the end zone until there were only 18 seconds left in the game. The recently dangerous Tavon Austin caught only four passes for 25 dinky yards.

Despite dominating the game from the opening kickoff onward, the 49ers only led 16-6 as the 4th quarter started. They had just squandered a promising drive when Frank Gore fumbled on the Rams’ twenty. The natives were restless, or at least concerned. Then Rams’ coach Jeff Fisher decided to call a fake punt on 4th and 8 from the St. Louis 22. It worked twice last year, but was a bit of a disaster this time around. Boobie Dixon smelled out the chicanery and stuffed the play. Moments later, Vernon Davis caught a pass at the eleven and high hurdled over a startled Rams DB into the end zone for a 23-6 lead. Game over.

This game marked the return of Michael Crabtree, who had been out all year with a torn Achilles. It also marked the return of the 49ers’ passing game. Coincidence? I think not. Crabtree only caught two passes, though one was a 60 yard stop and go beauty. But his presence in the line up opened things up for Anquan Boldin and VD, who caught 13 passes for 180 yards between them. It also helped that the Rams, who had been trampled by our running game in the first meeting back in September, were loaded up to make sure it didn’t happen again. In that, they were successful. Gore had only 42 yards on 15 carries.

Having his 2012 go-to WR finally back in action was clearly a rejuvenating event for embattled 49er QB Colin Kaepernick. He looked more confident, comfortable, and even happy throughout the game. When he dropped back to pass, he knew somebody would probably be open. And they usually were.

The game was not without midadventure for the 49ers, however. All pro LT Joe Staley suffered a sprained MCL early, causing a shuffling on the O-line. Alex Boone moved from RG to LT and Joe Looney took over at RG. Boone had an outstanding day, completely shutting out Rams pass rushing star Robert Quinn.

There was also the matter of Vernon’s jewels. The family sort of treasure. For perhaps the first time in NFL history, these precious items were used to make a tackle. Yep. A Ram defender got his hands on the goods and hung on until Davis went down. Ouch!

With the victory, coupled with losses by the Cardinals and Bears, the 49ers moved into sole possession of the sixth and final playoff seed. That might be a short lived joy, with Seattle coming to town next week, but for now, all is good. We’re three quarters through the 2013 season, persons of interest among you. Time for the stretch run.

Tagged with: Alex Boone, Anquan Boldin, Boobie Dixon, Colin Kaepernick, Frank Gore, Jeff Fisher, Joe Looney, Joe Staley, Michael Crabtree, Robert Quinn, San Francisco 49ers, St. Louis Rams, Tavon Austin, Vernon Davis
Posted in Post Game Spread

Theoretical Physics

Posted on November 29, 2013 by Skeebers — 57 Comments ↓

The St. Louis Rams come to town Sunday, fresh from shellacking Indianapolis 38-8 and Chicago 42-21. Goodness. These fellows don’t seem to be the same team the 49ers mauled 35-11 back in September.

The biggest change has been the emergence of Rams rookie Tavon Austin. In his past two games, Austin has touchdowns of 98, 81, 65 and 57 yards. A punt return, two pass plays, and a running play. It would behoove our boys to keep an eye on this speedy little squirt.

Technically, the Rams are a losing team (5-6), so the 49ers should beat them. But they were a losing team last year, too, and the Niners couldn’t beat them at home or in the away game. And, if the Rams beat the 49ers, they won’t technically be a losing team any more, which means the Niners would have lost another game against a team with a non-losing record, which has been the motif this year, so a loss could seem inevitable if you wanted to get a Black Friday sort of spirit running amok in your soul.

It’s pretty for sure almost a certainty that Michael Crabtree will return to action Sunday. This will at last enable us to eliminate one of the three theories of why the team’s offense has been a turkey this year. There’s the Roman Sucks theory, which posits that OC Greg Roman called good plays his first two years, but has called bad plays this year. Then there’s the Kaepernick Sucks theory, which posits that QB Colin Kaepernick played good last year, but has played bad this year. And finally, there’s the Our Horses Are Missing theory, which blames the poor offense on not having our Number One and Number Two wide receivers this year.

I’m a Horse guy on this one, probably from growing up where there weren’t any and overrating how wonderful life would be if there were some. There’s also a slim chance that this has actually been the problem, and not just a figment of my imagination. Seeing what happened to Indianapolis after their numero uno, Reggie Wayne, went down really put the nail in the head for me on this theory.

WR number two, Mario Manningham, returned to duty a couple of games ago, and it seemed that the offense perked up a little, along with the play calling and the quarterback effectiveness. The perk wasn’t big enough to be definitive, though.

But, when Crabtree takes the field Sunday, all bets are off on the Horse Theory. The offense is either going to look solid or still look relatively similar to a backyard turd. I.E., either Roman and Kaepernick remain on the theory griddle, or everything is beautiful — in its own way. Got horses, got play caller, got QB, vrooooooooommm!

At any rate, there’s five games left in the season. The 49ers need to go about 4-1 to guarantee a spot in the playoffs and give us blogalunatics the illusion the team can challenge for the big prize come January. 3-2 might get us in, if one of the wins is against Arizona, but it also wouldn’t inspire much confidence the team will be the last one standing come February.

Okay, I’m all pumped up for Sunday. Even if the game is against the mere dickwad Rams. Go Niners! Gallop down the home stretch like champions!

Tagged with: Colin Kaepernick, Greg Roman, Mario Manningham, Michael Crabtree, Reggie Wayne, San Francisco 49ers, St. Louis Rams, Tavon Austin
Posted in Game Previews

49ers 27, Whatchamacallits 6

Posted on November 26, 2013 by Skeebers — 74 Comments ↓

Look, Ma, a passing game! The 49ers found one in Washington Monday night, as well as a pass rush, and they whipped the Whatevers 27-6, regaining the sixth playoff seed held for a mere 24 hours by the Arizona Cardinals.

It was clear, during the game and after, that watching the team stomp somebody was far more enjoyable than watching them collect nail-biting losses. Not that the game was a wire to wire laugher. It was only 10-6 at the half, and Washington spent most of the second quarter rolling through the 49er defense with ease. The team must have made some excellent half time adjustments, though. Washington would gain only 30 total yards in the second half.

It’s hard to get too giddy about beating a 3-8 team, but the 49ers won this game through the air, not on the ground. The only other time that has happened this year was game one against the Packers. In between, there were four losses and a whole bunch of Frank Gore. Monday night, the ground game was stuffed, much as it was the previous week against the Saints and the week before that against the Panthers.

Skeptics might point out that the team was dealing with the Washington secondary, not the Seahawks secondary. Tut, tut, my sweet shabisko. It wasn’t like Washington couldn’t cover anybody. Mario Manningham gets open and had his first I’m-Truly-Back-From-Injury effort. Vernon Davis gets open, against just about any team. But the star of the game, Anquan Boldin, hardly ever gets open no matter who is covering him. What he does do, however, is catch the damn ball when you throw it to him.

Colin Kaepernick finally took the leap of faith Monday night and threw him the damn ball whether he was open or not. Voila! Two TDs, several clutch 3rd down conversions, and almost a hundred yards. Some of you blogmeisters might also have glimpsed a couple of rare sights in this game: slant passes! Manningham is good at those little babies. Kyle Williams, not so much. There was also a much clamored for screen pass. Minus three yards and back to the drawing board.

Speaking of Williams, his replacement as punt returner, LaMichael James, seems to have the odd idea that you can RUN with the ball after you catch the punt. Excellent forward thinking, Mr. James. He reversed field position by 72 yards on 5 punts Monday night. By far the best showing since Ted Ginn left the premises in the offseason. It also helps put a dent in the question “why did we draft this kid?”

Aldon Smith also had an I’m-Back game, recording two sacks and several QB hits, one of which occurred to an area between Robert Griffin’s legs. No harm, no foul! Smith’s pass rushing partner, Ahmad Brooks, also had two sacks. Bookend bad boys! And although Washington might stink as a team, they do have two good offensive tackles. So the sacks by Smith and Brooks cannot be diluted by the opponent-sucks adjustment factor.

All in all, a very satisfying must-win game against a hopeless and helpless opponent. There won’t be any pushovers in the final five games, though. So we’ll soon see if this game was a vision of good things to come, or just a mirage in an otherwise disappointing season.

Tagged with: Ahmad Brooks, Aldon Smith, Anquan Boldin, Colin Kaepernick, Frank Gore, Kyle Williams, LaMichael James, Mario Manningham, Robert Griffin, San Francisco 49ers, Ted Ginn, Vernon Davis, Washington Whatchamacallits
Posted in Post Game Spread

The Fallen Idols Bowl

Posted on November 21, 2013 by Skeebers

Now that fans have expressed their outrage over losing a game nobody expected us to win in the first place, it’s time to move along to the next opponent. One that the 49ers specialize in beating — a losing team.

Actually, it’s not so much outrage over losing, it’s over HOW we lost. And even how we have been winning. I believe the term is UGLY! Ugly wins, ugly losses, ugly fan appeal. Maybe the team isn’t good enough to return to the Big Show this year, especially with the huge offseason loss of Michael Crabtree, but at least they can put on an entertaining game each week. Sadly, that has mostly not been the case.

The past two weeks have at least settled one important question: the 49ers last home game at Candlestick Park will not be played in the postseason. Wild Card teams don’t get any home games. No, the last game will occur on Monday night, December 23rd, against the Atlanta Falcons.

They may have to call in the National Guard to police the joint after the game. There will probably be a death or two from fans fighting over stadium souvenirs. Or the Spirit of Christmas could imbue the place and Kumbaya could waft its way through the nostalgic and tearful multitudes. I know one thing else: if I’m a ref in that game, I don’t throw a game turning flag against the Niners in the closing moments.

The schedule makers thought this game would be a real barn burner, with playoff implications. Atlanta had other ideas, however. Next Monday night’s game against Washington also looked like a ratings bonanza at the beginning of the year. Two of last year’s hottest young QBs, Robert Griffin and Colin Kaepernick, squaring off in an epic duel. Hahaha. Not exactly.

Both QBs are struggling this year. The analysts will no doubt be prepped to illustrate their flaws during the game, rather than extol their virtues. The TV boys don’t care. They are much more adaptable than fans are.

LG Mike Iupati will be sitting out this game with an MCL sprain. Adam Snyder is penciled in to replace him in the lineup. Snyder played for Arizona last year and was ranked as the worst guard in the NFL. Needless to say, this does not speak well of 49er O-line youngsters Joe Looney and Daniel Kilgore.

The 49ers have lost two in a row for the second time this season, something they did not do even once in Jim Harbaugh’s first two seasons. In between the double douches, they won five in a row. Should they run off five in a row now, they’d be guaranteed a spot in the playoffs. That streak would include whipping Seattle in two weeks, so a fiver now would be quite impressive indeed.

The 49ers have played ten games and in only the first one did they demonstrate an NFL passing attack. The fact that they are 6-4 and in possession of the 6th seed for the playoffs speaks well to the quality of the team. Not that fans get all giddy about such faint praise items. And this disparity certainly won’t cut it in the playoffs, should they get there. Still, it’s impressive. And there’s six games left to somehow find the illusive skill to heave the ball forward in some sort of moderately successful fashion.

Tagged with: Adam Snyder, Colin Kaepernick, Daniel Kilgore, Jim Harbaugh, Joe Looney, Michael Crabtree, Robert Griffin, San Francisco 49ers, Washington Whatchamacallits
Posted in Game Previews