Really Excited

Oakland has a championship. San Francisco has a championship. Santa Clara has Jed York.

Moving right along, I put on my 1994 Super Bowl Champion 49ers’ T-shirt over the weekend, still going strong after 21 years of careful use, and strolled around town to cheer up any citizens who thought life was treating them too harshly. This is what being a Niner fan has come to. A couple more years of Yorkdom and the locals will be asking me if the 49ers are still a professional football team.

Saints’ owner Tom Benson made it through his mental competency trial recently, thwarting an effort by his children to wrest control of the team from him. Nice kids. 49er fans weren’t so lucky back in the late ’90s, and York is the result.

York Sr. was in the news last week, proving that incompetence is a family tradition. First, the elder York said the football helmet was on its way out, then the next day, no doubt prompted by league honchos, he retracted the statement.

Some bloggers think York Jr. is doing a fine job. This is the new litmus test for discerning the mental competency of any particular fan. Anybody who’s a York lover is probably someone you want to avoid getting stuck in an elevator with.

The team finished its OTA practices in good spirits. The players are really excited about the coming season. That excitement probably won’t last past October, when they realize they are on a long train to nowhere.

This is normally the time I would say, “Just kidding, folks!” But who would believe me?

Nobody wants to read negative news all year — almost nobody, that is. So, I’m really excited about the upcoming Training Camp and preseason games. We’ll be doing our best to find some players to get really excited about. Good players and dreadful ones.

Plus, poor teams usually treat preseason games like they were playoff games, so I’m expecting the Niners to go 4-0. Mike Singletary‘s teams went 7-1 in the preseason games, for instance. With Geep Chryst and Eric Mangini both trying to restore their reputations, and Jim Tomsula trying to get his hands on a reputation, I’d expect these preseason games to be as close as it comes to the team experiencing a winning sensation this year.

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Rebuilt Retool

49er spring practices are over and there’s six weeks left until Training Camp opens and puts an end to this disastrous 2015 offseason. Still plenty of time left for more disasters, though, so stay tuned.

It will be interesting to see what happens in Philadelphia this year. Both Jim Harbaugh and Chip Kelly were highly touted college coaches when they came into the NFL. Each has enjoyed success, Harbaugh more so than Kelly, and after a couple years in the league, each crossed swords with their GM. San Francisco eventually canned the coach and kept the GM. The Eagles have done the opposite — keeping the coach and marginalizing the GM. Which franchise made the best choice? We’ll see this year.

The 49ers have moved Alex Boone from RG to LG, to better facilitate him sliding over into LT Joe Staley’s spot, should Staley get injured. Marcus Martin, drafted last year as a center, is currently playing RG. Erik Pears, the worst guard in the league last year, is playing out at RT. Not exactly Murderers Row.

It could also be that moving Boone to left guard better protects Colin Kaepernick‘s blind side. Which is good, since his attention is likely to be quite often focused on the right side leakage.

The team did make it through the practices without any injuries, which is already an improvement on last year. Let’s face it, good health for us and bad health for everybody else in the division is about the only way this team can be competitive this year.

Looking at the draft and the barely warm bodies Trent Baalke has dragged in this year, it’s hard not to draw one of two conclusions: either Baalke is an idiot, or he’s thrown in the towel for this year, despite his “retooling” blather from early in the offseason. It’s possible, I suppose, that he’s both. But, giving him the benefit of the doubt for the moment, it looks like he’s pointing towards the next two years as a complete roster rebuild.

Rebuilding the team’s championship mentality and confidence is a whole other chore. For that, we’ll need a good HC. And getting one to come here might prove more difficult than rebuilding the roster. The 49er FO would need to rebuild its shattered reputation, and that is not going to be easy.

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Long Term Forecast: Drought

The 49ers are catching a media break now with the Giants rallying back into the NL West race and the Warriors grabbing everyone’s attention as they try to bring home their first NBA Title since 1975. That’s a 40 year title drought for those of you who have misplaced your calculator.

The Niners are halfway along this drought alley, standing currently at 21 years without a trophy. This time next year, it will be 22. Twelve different franchises have won one or more titles since the 49ers last got theirs.

It’s going to be a long, hard year for 49er fans. Outsider types know what’s coming, but most fans, especially young ones, are inseason fans and during the offseason are only marginally aware of the roster, the coaches, and the sort of day to day minutiae that provide the nuts and bolts of our blogging man world. These fans are going to tune in at the start of the season expecting to see the powerful 49ers setting out on another SB run. What they’re going to get is a big ass WTF experience from hell.

Right now, the chances of winning a bet that the team goes 2-14 in 2015 are not appreciably more risky than winning a bet that they simply make the playoffs. In fact, it’s probably even a less risky bet.

The 49ers play 14 games against the three toughest divisions in the NFL this year. Their own division, plus the AFC North and the NFC North. It wouldn’t be a shock if they whiffed the field. Nine of their games will be against 2014 playoff teams.

Meanwhile, the repercussions from the disastrous Jed York/Trent Baalke house cleaning after the 2014 season continued unabated last week as yet another player, RT Anthony Davis, threw in the towel on the new regime and retired from football rather than beat up his body for a losing operation.

Has any team ever so visibly demonstrated its disgust with management as this 49er team? Then again, has any team’s management ever made such a colossal mess as York and Baalke have engineered. With one gigantic, ego-driven blunder, they’ve managed to turn a championship caliber team into a bottom feeder.

This will be the year 49er fans get a painful reminder of what happens to a team when it doesn’t have a good coaching staff and its HC is a bum. You’d think that the eight years of horsecrap which preceded Jim Harbaugh would still be a fresh nightmare to all but the Alzheimered folks, but apparently not, judging by some of the blogging types who should know better, but certainly haven’t shown it.

The only significant question facing this franchise now is how long it will take Jed York to realize what a douche he is and at last, at least, remove himself from all football related questions and involvement. Until then, we’ll continue to add to the Drought Watch year after year after year.

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Posted in Angst 101

Can Anybody Play This Game?

Posted on June 3, 2015Skeebers

June is here, which means three more months until the grand opening of The Return to Mediocrity Era. Featuring an ever evolving cast of entirely forgettable coaches and players. Hip hip kerplunk!

Today, we’ll look at the 2012 Draft class, which should be coming into its own this year. Hmmm. There’s nobody left from that class except backup OL guy Joe Looney. Nevermind.

Rewind. Today, we’ll look at the 2013 Draft picks who have yet to prove they are worth a shit. For the team to improve this year, they must become starters or major role players — or go on the BUST list: Tank Carradine, Vance McDonald, Quinton Dial, Quinton Patton, Corey Lemonier.

None of these guys has done squat in their two years here. With the retirement of Justin Smith and the banishment of Ray McDonald, both Dial and Carradine are expected to step in and cut the mustard this year. Patton has mostly been inactive his first two years and Lemonier was bumped from the OLB rotation last year by rookie Aaron Lynch. McDonald was injured most of last year and doesn’t look anywhere close to replacing Vernon Davis, who is probably playing his last year in SF.

The 2014 Draft class performance is even more necessary for the team’s success in 2015. Carlos Hyde must reasonably replace Frank Gore, or the team has no running game. Jimmie Ward was over matched as the slot CB last year. He has to do better, or it’s another first round bust. Center Marcus Martin filled in poorly for the injured Dan Kilgore last year and both he and Brandon Thomas are expected to help replace Mike Iupati this year, and Alex Boone next year.

But it’s the secondary where the 2014 class either swims or the Niner defense sinks. Three CBs from that class, a 4th, 5th, and 6th rounder (Dontae Johnson, Keith Reaser, Kenneth Acker) are trying to replace Chris Culliver and Perrish Cox.

Nobody from the 2015 class is expected to make a significant contribution this year. So, the success of the 2015 team is going to depend largely on the success of Trent Baalke’s 2013 and 2014 draft classes. For the first time in Baalke’s tenure, his draft picks will be necessary to the team NOW, and not when they get off IR or have finished their “project” classes.

How’s your GM? 1-800-SHO-TIME

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Posted in FOS Speculation

In the Interim

Posted on May 28, 2015Skeebers

News out of camp last week was that Jim Tomsula is “not just a meathead D-line coach.”

This sounds suspiciously like:

“I am not a crook.”


“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

Not exactly a ringing endorsement of the 49ers’ new interim HC, anyway you look at it. But these are unusual times. The Niners are believed to be the first team in NFL history to have an interim HC for an entire season — assuming Tomsula makes it through the year.

It would be swell if we could give the Niners props for their innovative approach, but in truth, they had no choice. Nobody wanted to be the HC here. Following the immensely successful Jim Harbaugh was too daunting a challenge, perhaps, especially since success clearly has little value to the 49er FO.

Following Tomsula, though, should be a piece of cake. Anybody will look good in that comparison. 2016 should be a far better year to locate a real HC, not a temporary one. Admittedly, it would be a big help if Jed York’s ego were sufficiently sated by hosting the 50th Super Bowl to allow him to get the hell away from the building for a year or ten. If he’s still sitting in on job interviews come next January, though, it might be time to reluctantly add some interim silver and black to your fan costume wardrobe.

The Niners have already worked the black into the franchise uniforms. Most teams have some sort of throwback jerseys to play in a couple games each year. Showing that clueless ineptitude is back, the Niners have brought out throwup uniforms to play in. The only throwback involving the Niners is a return to the dismal teams prior to the Harbaugh era.

Don’t get me wrong. I have no problems with a few dingbats thinking Jed’s meddling is wonderful for the franchise. Every society needs a sprinkling of space balls roaming around to remind us all that sanity, although occasionally boring, and sometimes even depressing, is an infinitely superior disposition to mindless, dithering lunacy. But, in moments of politically incorrect temptation, there’s no denying these wiffle heads are gruesomely humorous.

We even have a token representative right here on the Outsider. But you’ll have to guess unca_chuck’s identity, because it would be irresponsible of me to divulge it.

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Posted in Orgainized Team Activities
Recent Posts
2015 Schedule
1. 9/14 vs MIN
2. 9-20 @ PIT
3. 9/27 @ ARI
4. 10-4 vs GB
5. 10/11 @ NYG
6. 10/18 vs BAL
7. 10/22 vs SEA
8. 11/1 @ STL
9. 11/8 vs ATL
10. 11/15 BYE
11. 11/22 @ SEA
12. 11/29 vs ARI
13. 12/6 @ CHI
14. 12/13 @ CLE
15. 12/20 vs CIN
16. 12/27 @ DET
17. 1/3 vs STL
The Harbaugh Scoreboard
49ers: 0-0
  [Not Harbaugh]
Michigan: 0-0
  [Harbaugh, Drevno]
Bears: 0-0
  [Fangio, Donatell]
Bills: 0-0
Cardinals: 0-0
Chiefs: 0-0
Colts: 0-0
Redskins: 0-0
Raiders: 0-0
  [Crabtree, Seely]
Titans: 0-0
  [Walker, Cox]
2015 Draft Class
1 Arik Amstead, DE
2 Jaquiski Tartt, S
3 Eli Harold, OLB
4 Blake Bell, TE
4 Mike Davis, RB
4 DeAndre Smelter, WR
5 Bradley Pinion, P
6 Ian Silberman, OG
7 Trenton Brown, OT
7 Rory Anderson, TE