The 49ers held some OTAs last week, and the guys were running around in their shorts doing athletic stuff. Titillating entertainment for the female population. Wimpy fake football to us manly men.
The Niner beat writers seem very impressed with Kyle Shanahan‘s command of commanding the troops. I’m not readily able to remember if they were impressed with Jim Tomsula and/or Chip Kelly, too, but we’ll assume for the sake of Happy Happy that they were much more muted in assessing these two former train wrecks during their OTA time.
Speaking of train wrecks, Brandon Jacobs. Probably time for this ridiculous Jim Harbaugh hater to get his brain checked for CTE. A positive diagnosis would allow us to feel sorry for him. Otherwise, it’s a hearty round of LMAOs for old Brandon. Good luck on your vow to get Harbaugh fired from Michigan because he “knows nothing about football.”
Yet another reminder that there are entities out there who inhabit a totally different planet than the one most of us are familiar with.
The Depth Chart page on the 49ers web site is blank, so we have no idea what the pecking order is for the 90 guys currently signed by the team. When this page finally gets updated, we’ll have our first glimpse into the mind of Shanahan. Hopefully, this nebulous area will prove to be vastly larger and deeper than the cranial contents of Tomsula and Kelly.
We could, of course, guess at some of the hierarchy of this depth chart, but this site prefers to keep its guess work confined to topics such as other people’s worth, their motives, their proximity to unintelligent life form, the size of various objects which they might be able to stuff up a certain bodily orifice which shall go unnamed — you know, fun stuff.
In the meantime, there are a few more weeks of OTAs, so stay tuned for up-to-the-minute reports that may or may not be worth mentioning.