No There Here

As the sun sets slowly on the eighth consecutive failed 49ers season, it’s fair to ask: Do I really want to spend the remaining years of my life being a Cubs type fan? Is it healthy to learn to love perennial losers? And what about impressionable grandchildren? Will they see me wearing a 49er jacket and jump on board for an entire life of lost Sundays, broken hopes, and miserable Mondays?

Then again, what’s the alternative? Soccer? Yikes. The Raiders? Anathema.

Monday, Mike Singletary decided to finally take the blame for the team’s failures by blaming the team for failing. Vernon Davis blamed the offensive game plan, as did Troy Smith. Mike Johnson blamed Troy for not being in training camp to learn the plays. Alex Smith knows the plays and is healthy, so Singletary made the obvious decision to start Troy next Monday night. He did not say Troy gave us the best chance to win, so it’s anybody’s guess what sort of logical system is being employed now. Most likely, Singletary is taking the blame for choosing Alex as this year’s starting QB by blaming Alex for losing all the games, just as Jimmy Raye was to blame for doing what Sing wanted him to do.

It’s a safe bet that the awesome force of Singletary’s initial presence, the one that wowed Jed York and Scot McCloughan at the end of the 2008 season, and the fans at the beginning of the 2009 season with that classic “I’m not a moral victory kind of guy”, is no longer awing anyone. Jed is 29. Surely he knows how to roll his eyes and flip the bird at the TV screen. Maybe he’s even smart enough to realize THIS GUY IS KILLING ME. Jed’s father is more pragmatic. THIS GUY IS NOT SELLING TICKETS ANY MORE.

Singletary’s pet phrases of “going forward” and “working through things” to “get where we need to be” are causing hair loss from fans and scribes overdosing on scratching and pulling said fibers from their head sockets. Hey, Mike, THE SEASON’S ALMOST OVER! There is no “getting there” to get to. We’re there. It’s here. Wake up, dude.

Unfortunately, the person who never “got there” was Singletary himself. Last season’s futile offense encouraged every sane fan of the team that surely no one would try to run that same damn thing again this year. But Singletary did not get this message. Instead, he drafted two new O-line guys and tried to ram this offense down the throat of the NFL again. And again it failed. And it still fails. And he still doesn’t get it.

If there is a brick wall across the road, you need a linebacker. Most teams in the NFL today, however, have abandoned 1930’s football and prefer to go over and around the brick wall, not through it. But even in this choice, Singletary failed. In the 30’s, they ran the single wing. That should have been Singletary’s offensive game plan all along. Tim Tebow should have been the guy he drafted to run it. If you are going to be crazy, Mike, go all in.

Meanwhile, back from a clandestine operation in Uruguay and still running in terse mode is our intrepid Foto man, NoFear. Today he provides a look at the running back who didn’t want to play here even though he’s exactly the type of running back Singletary would love.


•   •   •   •   •

NoFear’s Fotos


As much as I hate to pile on, the lack of effort by some can make the whole team look bad.

I will try to find a better effort to highlight in the second half of the game.






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Posted in Tuesday Morning Waterboy
8 comments on “No There Here
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs- Very entertaining article today. It was way more entertaining than the 49ers game.

  2. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Thanks, Berg. The Niners set the bar pretty low for me. I’ll have to drop Singletary a thank you note.

  3. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    Nice to you and your photos back, NoFear. I hope that Uruguayan doctor didn’t leave a scalpel inside. You’re gonna receive one helluva pat-down your next trip to the airport if he did.
    I commented on this very same play yesterday over at Chuck’s. Parys probably feels like he got run over by a Boeing 747 widebody. Haralson would have been better off getting outta the damn way and saying, “You’re Now Free to Move About the Country” than taking that blow.

  4. FranchiseNo Gravatar says:

    Nice pics No Fear. And nice tackle MacDonald. Reminds me that there’s a DE prospect from Cal (name escapes me) who would have put Blount head first into the Gatorade station. 
    Not to get off track – our once in a generation safety, Ronnie Lott, spoke on CSN Bay Area, about honoring the franchise and owner as your cause celebre to play the game. Who do the current niner players honor as they play… Sing… Jed Jr… Niner Nuggets? 

  5. bigtimNo Gravatar says:

    man Singlescary is in circlejerk mode, the blame game is so comical he seems to be able to confuse his self, taking responsibility for nothing while blaming every one for nothing.
    at this point in the season the best thing the team can do is retreat to Ariz. and regroup, my worry is the pig headed approach might be show cased on MNF 2 really bad teams clashing.
    as Dr Zacary Smith would say”oh the pain,the pain”

  6. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    A few of the quotes Dr. Smith used to say to the robot could be substituted for Singletary.
    “You bubble-headed booby! You realize what you’ve done.”
    “Yours not to question why; yours to do as I say or die. ”
    ” Silence, you ninny. ”
    “Silence, you mental midget. ”
    ” Now come along with me, you ludicrous lump, there’s much to be done”
    And as for our quarterback situation. “Never fear, Smith is here. “

  7. bigtimNo Gravatar says:

    Oh the memories

  8. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    This Team is on DIRE need of NT and 5-Technique DE.(QB not withstanding)

    No Fear, Clements has been mailing it in for weeks, his effort is no longer on this Team and I for one can’t wait to see him gone. He leaves enough cushion on every assignment that he may as well carry a camera.

    Add me to the list of Fans praying for the misery to end. Lose in AZ and plan on restructuring the FO.

    Parcells for 2-3 Years, Inquire about Charlie Weis for HC too.

2021 Schedules
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10L
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05: L Seahawks 30, 49ers 23 12/12 · 10:00 AMCIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17