Monday Night Death Watch

Tonight Mike Singletary puts his coaching career and the fate of the 2010 49ers season on the line in Arizona. The Smith QB best prepared to run the immense and intricate playbook of Frank Gore to the left, to the right, up the middle, and swinging into the flat, with an occasional ponderous look downfield until throwing the ball away or bolting for the sideline, will be sitting on the bench.

Starting in his place will be the other Smith, who has only mastered a few pages of this book and will be restricted to Gore up the middle, to the left, to the right, and in the flat, with an occasional look downfield until running out of wiggle room and getting sacked. Keen observers of the game will immediately notice the missing wrinkles in these various Gore plays and the wiggling versus 1,2,3 get out of here style differences of the Smith position performers.

Over the weekend, a stunning scandal erupted in Denver when it was revealed that the Broncos had taped a 49er practice in London. The Belichick Tree in action. Apparently, Denver coach Josh McDaniels was not a keen observer of wrinkles and versuses, and attempted to get a competitive disadvantage by cheating. What a fool! Playing the 49ers was already a competitive disadvantage! What was this idiot thinking?!

Plus, of course, Denver lost the game. Whooooeee, what a burn! It was nice of Mr. McDaniels and the Broncos to attempt to steal the debacle spotlight from the 49ers, but tonight the Niners play a nationwide game and can regain the 2010 Dunce Cap trophy with one phinal phizzling phailuresque phall on their phaces.

The Cardinals, however, have quietly stunk it up for five consecutive games themselves and might just be in the mood to make it six in front of the whole country! Apparently, Arizona coach Ken Whisenhunt, smarting from losing twice to Singletary last year, decided to show who was the superior dunce by attempting to play the whole season with third string QBs who were the featured members of the offense, rather than the hand-it-off members.

Whisenhunt has job security, however, and Singletary does not. Whisenhunt has a Super Bowl appearance (thank you, Kurt Warner) and a couple years left on his contract and works for the tight fisted Bidwells, who have been running a York operation for half a century. His griddle won’t get hot till next year.

Many people think a Monday night game between two 3-7 teams will be uninteresting. Gadzooks! This is a Vulture Game! There is a guaranteed road kill squad waiting to be beaked apart limb by limb. Throw in an excessive number of screen shots of Singletary’s Crucifix and the Cardinal cheerleaders doing the spread and we will have SEX, DEATH, and RELIGION all on the menu. These three winners are what make the Tabloids and movie industries rich. Viewers paradise.

Meanwhile, there is an actual game that will be played, hidden cleverly in all the non-stop blather, and the winner, thanks to Seattle’s loss at home to the Chiefs, will be only one game out of first place in the NFC West with five games to play. The 49ers have three more division games and two road wipe outs left on their slate, so 7-9 is the best they can do. Will it be enough? Probably not, but if you say it doesn’t matter, then ask yourself how you will be feeling if that last game of the season at the Stick, against these same Cardinals, is somehow a win and in deal for the 49ers. Be honest.

Are we ready for some football? Yummmm Baby!



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18 comments on “Monday Night Death Watch
  1. Mr FletchNo Gravatar says:

    Maybe Sing has Gore on his fantasy team and is trying to get maximum points every week?

    Or, maybe they’ve been setting up the whole season for tonight’s game. No runs at all, just play action on every down. Arizona will be completely fooled. We win tonight and go on to sweep the season because of clever, against the trend play calls that use the previously unseen other 90% of the play book.

    Or not.

  2. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah, I’ll be honest. I can’t get that loss to Carolina out of my craw. This is an embarrassing team.
     
    You see, the problem with winning is it could possibly mean retaining the coach. Even though I find I can’t root for us to lose during a game, I can do it very easily before and after.
     
    Just lose baby.

  3. Mr FletchNo Gravatar says:

    Berger – Yeah, the Carolina loss was when I officially gave up on the season. It was such a complete, irredeemable failure by all part of the team. It left me with no hope of a strong core on which to build a winner.

    If the 1980’s Bears Way was so great, how come they won 1 Super Bowl, while the 1980’s Niners won 4. Which is a better model on which to build a team?

  4. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Singletary thinks the reason the Bears didn’t win more SBs was because Ditka went all Hollywood after the first one. This is false on two points. One, Ditka was not a great coach, as Sing believes. Second, it ignores the real reason, which was Buddy Ryan taking his genius to coach the Eagles. Ryan was correct in calling Ditka an idiot. Sing was wrong in thinking him a great coach gone awry. Of course, making Ditka great is Sing’s way of making himself great. The Great Motivators.

  5. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs- I feel like Lou Holtzs on the credit card commercial when he is talking to the guy named Peggy. Lou is inspiring, the message gets through, but the execution lacking. At some point the execution must be more important than the message. Where our execution is flawed is in the game plan. Sing presents a plan that requires perfect execution and unfortunately our players are human. They make mistakes. Our game plan does not account for mistakes and adjustments. In the end, Sing is the guy named Peggy on the commercial, meaning poor execution.
     
    I’ll give you a famous Lou Holtz quote that pertains to Singletary’s game planning, “If you try to fight the course it will beat you”.

  6. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    NJ, I just saw your comments about not being able to post. Try clearing your browser cache. That’s usually the problem.
     
    If that doesn’t work, try turning off pop-up blocker.

  7. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    I’ll be honest. If winning that last game means winning the division at 7-9 I will root with every fiber of my being for the Niners to go down, and go down hard.
     
    We’re the goddamn five-time World Champion San Francisco Forty Niners. I will not tolerate being the butt of the joke from the entire football community. Winning the NFC Jest at 7-9 would be nothing short of disgraceful. I am sitting in my chair at this very moment boiling at the very thought. I’m outraged. It won’t happen. I will not tolerate it to happen. I won’t allow it to happen.

  8. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    I’m pissed. Troy frigging Smith is our starting quarterback. Alex frigging Smith lost his starting job to the aforementioned frigging sack of crap. What kind of sack must he be sitting in to lose his job to that crap? That’s right, more crap. Our entire QB roster is nothing but a huge sack of crap. This is the NFL. The NFL is a QB-driven league. What the hell do we have? Crap. We’re driving the biodegradable QB crapmobile. I’m pissed.

  9. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Troy is on a very short leash tonight. Similar to Barry Zito’s against San Diego back on October 2nd . . .

  10. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Hey! Reading a little emotion from NoFear is always a plus. Good job Mr NoFear!

  11. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Ditka got as far as Buddy Ryan took him.
     
    McMahon and Walter helped . . .
     
    Yeah yeah yeah. Same old song and dance. Until they hire a GM and give him the power to make personnel decisions, we’ll travel this road of incremental improvement followed by stagnation yet again.
     
    Yes, I thought Singletary could pull this team up and get them to the playoffs. Unfortuantely, he ended up too much like the guy that hired him . . .

  12. bigtimNo Gravatar says:

    oh the Venom I love it,not knowing when the ax is dropping on Sings neck is keeping me interested, its going to happen, just when,could tonight be the night, or will it be green bay that wipes the canvas of the motivator or should I call him the blowtivator.
    like licking my chops over a nice steak, I cant wait to get it over with but the suspense is half the fun.
    playoffs or not Singletary your dead to me.

  13. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Outside of a so-so to poor performance by the QB our execution tonight was almost flawless. When you gain 250 yds and hold the opponent to 20, good things happen. I’d say we’ll need a better game plan next week in Green Bay.

  14. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Why is it on defense the only teams we have aggressive game plans for are AZ and StL, and we usually play well against them. Do the coaches notice this?

  15. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Now on to our loss to Green Bay.

  16. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs, please don’t lead your headline with “Niners at 4-7 are in this thing and just one game out” or some such similar nonsense. I’d like to enjoy my coffee and apple danish tomorrow morning.
     
    “We’re one game out.” Indeed we are. We’re just one game out of last place.

  17. bigtimNo Gravatar says:

    Berger the only reason the team looked impressive on defense is because the cards suck so bad there was no way to go but up GB will be a different story.
    the big loss was to Frank, broken hip out for the rest of the season its westbrook’s job now,the real test is to see if Johnson has it in him to use his talents, and for Sing to butt out with his philosophy crap enough so the team will at least be competitive.
    sadly Troy is not that accurate a passer,throwing a 30yd post pattern is fine when your pass rush is coming from the cards and all, but his trows were very Alex like in there accuracy.
    sadly with this win I think Sing will have a bug up his butt thinking this has validated his bad ball control ideas, and Green Bay is just going to lay a wuppin on us next week .

  18. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Wahhh!!! Poor NoFear can’t take any dissenting opinion on his fiercly held delusions.

    Take the 46 defense from the 85 Bears and they are an 9-7 team that doesn’t win their one and only Super Bowl.

2021 Schedule
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05 · 5:20 PM @ SEA
12/12 · 10:00 AM @ CIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
 
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17

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