Happy Independence Day, fellow citizens. In honor of this day, we will consume 150 million hot dogs, 71% of them covered with mustard. We will also spend $800 million on fireworks while decreasing the air quality by 42%.
This day also means that the deadest offseason in blogosphere history is at last staggering through its final month. Soon, we’ll get an answer to this year’s biggest question: Are fans just turned off by Jed York and the 49ers, or has the blogging era simply run out of gas?
Speaking of gas, which is a cousin of fireworks, it’s time for our annual tribute to the finer arts:
As always, caution must be exercised when playing with explosives.