Humbug Gazette

It’s 2013, as you non-hibernating bipeds may have noticed, which means the Mayan’s tenuous grasp of life on earth has been relegated to the basement wing of The Knowledge Building. Down there with the earth is flat fellows.

As usual with these fifteen minutes of fame cults, nobody gave them a farewell dinner, and maybe a gold watch, as they slipped beneath the waves of time and glub, glub, glubbed their way to obscurity. The Outsider has a tradition of honoring those who have dared to be insignificant, however, so here’s to the Mayans. The world champions of midget pyramid building.

Speaking of Dashon Goldson, hasta la vista, baby! The 49ers have … Craig Dahl!

Just flicking your ears, Trent Baalke. We all know you’ll whip into action this week and throw some raw meat to the hungry blogomob.

Goldson. Hmmph. After a couple of years getting torched six times a year by Drew Brees, Cam Newton, and Matt Ryan, the Bucs will decide Dashon ain’t worth $8 mil a year, he’ll get cut, and he’ll probably have squandered all the money playing Emperor of the Entourage. He also won’t be in any more Pro Bowls, Monday or Sunday Night games, probably no playoff games, either. Have a nice career, dipwad. Maybe some team will sign a 32 year old forgotten safety for two or so mil a year and you’ll wind up making less from your $40+ mil contract than the 5 for $25 mil you could have gotten from the Niners. Not that it matters, since you’d squander that, too! Mark your calendars for 2028. That’s about the time Goldson will show up in bankruptcy court pleading with a judge to let him keep his X-box.

Harsh? Bah. As Jim Harbaugh would say, “It’s the sad, tough nature of the business.”

I was kidding about the X-box, BTW. It’ll be obsolete long before Goldson goes belly up. If you look around your house now, everything in it will be obsolete by then — if not next year or the minute after you bought it. Except maybe for the kitchen table. They tend to last even if you don’t eat there anymore. It’s a good place to throw shit you don’t know where to put just yet. You might even find a couple of Irish men curled up underneath yours this morning if you were foolhardy enough to invite them over for St. Pat’s day.

Back to football. Which isn’t occurring. Do you sense the need for some action, Mr. Baalke? We’re not a patient group. You’ve had your above the fray week. Time to go shopping!

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65 comments on “Humbug Gazette
  1. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Long time ago the Niners lost out making this waiver claim to the Bucs.
    It does show the front office knows what it’s doing most of the time.

  2. robNo Gravatar says:


    you chickenhearted old cluck ! you fuss like an old lady !

    read this …

  3. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    The 3 players lost on defense so far are Goldson Bucs $9 mil for 2013, RJF Colts $7 mil 2013 and Sopa Egos $3.75 mil 2013.
    Paying $19.75 mil to keep these 3 would be a bad idea.
    Goldson’s salary is a base of $4,5 and a initial signing bonus for 2013 of $4.5mil (next year his contract calls for a $3mil bonus) Very pricey.

  4. robNo Gravatar says:

    THIS is for you chicken littles out there ! this team really has some slow learners as fans …

  5. robNo Gravatar says:

    IMHO it’s a good article to have right about now !

  6. robNo Gravatar says:

    DAMM ! isaac only got 3.75 (of that ) from swilladelphia ? imo that was our biggest loss in free agency ! imho we should have re-signed sop , we could have done it with the extra david akers money !

  7. bullitNo Gravatar says:


    Sopa only played les than 35% of all defensive snaps (usually 1st down only)
    That’s paying a lot for a part timer who can be replaced. We were at the same point when Abrayo wanted the big bucks and Sopa stepped in.

  8. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    That 35% stat is misleading because he had a bad knee for about 6 games in the middle of the season. He did not play well in that period and did not play nearly as often as normal.

  9. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Sopa is going to be 32 this season and the Dline needs to get younger or they will be in real trouble in another year with everyone in their 30s.
    Next year I would go after Geno Atkins hard as a UFA as well as Lamarr Houston depending on who we draft this year. This would give an infusion of youth with 2 very good players who I covet.

  10. robNo Gravatar says:


    ” We were at the same point when Abrayo wanted the big bucks and Sopa stepped in.”

    THE BIG DIFFERENCE here is that sopoaga was good against both the run and pass ! franklin was better vs. the run , but imho wasn’t all that against either ! i used to post that sop should be used more all the time back then !
    this year i think we’ve replaced RJF effectively enough with dorsey ! trying to replace sop in the draft , which it looks like we’ll be doing , could be a different animal ! imo we should have ponied up the 3 mil for sop ! for me , whether sop played 25% or 50% of the defensive snaps , the NT is still the key position in a 3-4 defense ! (only the main passrusher/olb is close !)

  11. robNo Gravatar says:


    here’s where i have a little issue with your outlook !

    “Next year I would go after Geno Atkins hard as a UFA as well as Lamarr Houston depending on who we draft this year. This would give an infusion of youth with 2 very good players who I covet.”

    you’re pretty vocal about signing dahl at free after we lost goldson but you seem to be ok with dorsey at NT ?!

    just a thought ! for me the NT is the key man here , followed by passrusher AND free safety !

    the good news for us is that we’re pretty sure to be drafting both a FS candidate and a big NT/D-lineman early this year ! my only thing is that i think we have a better shot at getting a STARTING free safety in this draft than a NT ! the cost factor is also big in this situation ! i can see not paying goldson over 8 mil a year , but imo we should have more strongly considered throwing sop about three !

  12. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    There are short term answers available for NT like Casy Hampton or Sione Pouha, one year guys almost at the end of the road and Richard Seymour is available.
    Both Atkins and Houston are way above average and guys you might look to sign long term being in their mid 20’s.
    I said previously the time to critique the roster is May 1 after the draft where there will be over 10 new players to consider drafted or signed between now and then,.

  13. robNo Gravatar says:

    BULLIT !
    right ! i’m looking forward to the draft too ! we should be able to add a few guys in the draft who can help us this year !

  14. robNo Gravatar says:

    NICE ONE !
    I remember hearing somewhere that sione pouha might be available this year ! i think we would be smart to make him an offer ! imho the combination of pouha and dorsey would help offset the loss of sop !

  15. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Geno Atkins would be a great pick up, and expensive!

  16. bullitNo Gravatar says:


    Wishful thinking on my part on Atkins and relying on the stupidity of Mike Brown and the Bungles to let him get into Free Agency. He’ll be franchised tagged if no re-signed.
    Atkins was a 4th round pick #120 out of Georgia and a great find for the Bungles.
    Ngata makes $12 mil and Wilfork $10 mil so Atkins will cost between $9-12 mil per year.
    We need to find our own Geno Atkins.

  17. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Just kidding, I know nothing about this guy except he is about 350 lbs. He’s definitely got size!

  18. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Niners have re-signed Parys Haralson – remember him? One year deal for 1.3 mil.

  19. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Niners get one 4th round pick and two 7th round compensatory picks.

  20. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    1, 2, 2, 3, 3, 4, 4, 5, 5, 6, 7, 7, 7, 7

  21. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    I also like this bit of news per Maiocco
    “Also, the NFL confirmed that the 49ers gave up their own sixth-round pick, No. 199 overall, to the Baltimore Ravens. The 49ers held on to their earlier sixth-round pick, No. 180, acquired last year from the Miami Dolphins”

  22. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Berger, Tony Jerod-Eddie is listed at 6’5″ 301
    I’d assume he’s more of 5T DE than a NT.

  23. robNo Gravatar says:

    it’s good to have harralson back , and he saved us 1.25 mil off the cap by taking a pay cut! (we can use that to add to any offer we make asomugha !)

    also good news about our comp picks ! we have the high 6th and lots of ammo for the draft !

  24. robNo Gravatar says:

    ANYBODY know how much cap money we have left ?

  25. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Barrows says we are a little more than $6mil under the cap now.
    Barrows adds this tidbit of info
    “Newly acquired receiver Anquan Boldin is expected to make his first appearance in the Bay Area Wednesday when he takes his physical. There’s a possibility that Boldin, who is due to make $6 million in 2013, will extend his contract, which also could create more salary-cap space for San Francisco.”
    Extend Boldin for at least another year or two as I believe he will be more productive than any #2 we’ve had for a decade.

  26. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Two free agents they ought to bring in are David Thomas TE formerly of the Aints. He is 6-4 240 and 30 years old. Good blocker and decent receiver. Would fill a need with D Walker gone.
    David Nelson WR from Bill. 6-5 215 lbs. Hurt in first game last year. In 2011 caught 61 passes for 658 yds and 5 TDs as a slot receiver for the Bills.
    Both would be cost effective and fill a need.

  27. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I heard Boldin say last week that he grew up a 49er fan!

  28. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    So here it what we have right now.
    1 – 31 – (31) –
    2 – 3 – (34) – *Choice from Kansas City (with conditional 2014 choice for QB Alex Smith)
    2 – 31 – (63) –
    3 – 12 – (74) – *Choice from Carolina (with 49ers’ 2012 No. 6 draft choice for 49ers’ 2012 No. 4 draft choice)
    3 – 31 – (93) –
    4 – 31 – (128) –
    4 – 34 – (131) – #Compensatory Selection
    5 – 24 – (157) – *Choice from Indianapolis (with 49ers’ 2012 No. 4 draft choice for 49ers’ 2012 No. 4 choice)
    5 – 31 – (164) –
    6 – 12 – (180) – *Choice from Miami (with Dolphins’ 2012 No. 4 and Saints’ 2012 No. 6 draft choices for 49ers’ 2012 No. 4 choice)
    XXX 6 – 31 – (199) – Traded to Baltimore Ravens (for WR Anquan Boldin)
    7 – 21 – (227) – *Choice from Cincinnati (for S Taylor Mays)
    7 – 31 – (237) –
    7 – 40 – (246) – #Compensatory Selection
    7 – 46 – (252) – #Compensatory Selection
    I would expect a fair amount of movement come draft day.

  29. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Hold on to your hats guys. Our new kicker is Phil Dawson. Back to the couch now … zzzz.

  30. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, it’s one less thing we need to draft for.

  31. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Baalke seems to try to fill all obvious holes in FA. Then draft BPA. If he finds someone better than the FA, you can always cut them later. But this way he never needs to reach, at least knowingly. Smart.

  32. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    I hate to over burden you guys with mind boggling news, but the 49ers have announced a 1-year deal for WR Marlon Moore, who caught six passes for 116 yards and 1 TD for Dolphins in 2012.

  33. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, that’s six more than AJ!

    Camp hands and insurance, again. He’ll probably get cut, assuming we find a good WR keeper or two in the draft.

  34. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Right Grump. THat’s why I think we see the Niners get a safery and a TE in free agency.

  35. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Another safety, that is.

  36. robNo Gravatar says:


    ” Hey, that’s six more than AJ! ”


  37. robNo Gravatar says:

    IMO we should take a good look at visanthe shiancoe to replace walker !

  38. robNo Gravatar says:

    CHUCK imo the way the draft is going to play out , we’re all done signing ‘saferies’ in free agency ! imho we’re going to get a pretty darn good safety with either the 31st (our 1st) or 34th (our second) !

  39. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Rumor seems to be we are targeting FS Eric Reid from LSU.

  40. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Marlon Moore impressed the Niners as a gunner on punt return coverage.
    Looks like they are shoring up their special teams.

  41. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Abrayo Franklin signed with the Colts. That’s his 4th team in 4 years. Nobody has signed him for more than a year.

  42. robNo Gravatar says:


    thx for that on moore ! imo we’ve been doing a good job of helping our special teams this offseason !

    imho if we stop that kickoff return for a touchdown to start the 2nd half , we win the superbowl !

    good move by baalke/harbaugh !

  43. robNo Gravatar says:

    SPEAKING of special teams !
    i’m loving the dawson signing ! imho he did it for a chance to play for a champion !
    don’t make fun of this signing SKEEBS

    ” Hold on to your hats guys. Our new kicker is Phil Dawson. Back to the couch now … zzzz.”

    Dawson is 350 of 358 on extra points for his career

    he’s 86% lifetime and a sizzling 93% last season

    he was 29 of 31 with 13 out of 14 between 40-49 and 14 of 15 from over 50 !!!
    wow !
    we got our kicker .. and big time !
    nice move !!!

  44. robNo Gravatar says:

    NFL.COM power rankings have us at #1 !

  45. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    It is reported on the Cleveland side that Phil Dawson signed a one year deal.
    This from the Cleveland Plain Dealer website
    “Later, after the 49ers made the official announcement, Dawson explained on a conference call his reasons for signing. He’ll be reunited with his former Browns special teams coach Brad Seeley.

    “It’s hard to pick just one and that’s why this is such an attractive place,” Dawson said. “Obviously, one of the storied organizations in the history of the NFL. A team that is on the verge of winning it all right now, with a great head coach, a great front office, special teams coach I’m familiar with, a great part of the world to live in. What is there not to like?”

    What the Niners are also getting is a veteran that’s a leader.

    Akers own self doubt and lack of confidence was evident as he sulked on the bench after missing a kick with everyone avoiding him.

  46. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    More on Phil Dawson from Maiocco
    “And the new 49ers kicker wants to get to know his new home stadium before the final season at Candlestick Park kicks off.

    Dawson met Tuesday with 49ers special-teams coordinator Brad Seely, who was his coach for two seasons with the Cleveland Browns. Dawson had a question for him: Can he get into Candlestick Park in the offseason and start kicking?
    “He said it was,” said Dawson, who plans to move to the Bay Area shortly as soon as he and his wife, Shannon, can get everything with his family squared away.

    “That’s a huge plus in my mind. So what my plan will be, I’ll study the weather forecast, and when it’s supposed to be bad days, you can find me down there. I want to get in there and start hitting balls and see what’s going on and get a game plan. That’s part of my job. I don’t necessarily have an opponent across the line of scrimmage that I have to study and be prepared for. But I do need to know the conditions I’m going to have to face.”

    Looks like Jennings, Lee and Dawson will be at the Stick pat of the time during OTAs when the rest of the team is at Santa Clara.
    Very smart thing to do.

  47. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    This morning’s OMG !! moment: “Jim Harbaugh extremely high on WR Ricardo Lockette. Sensing big things.”

  48. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    This was Lockette at the combine a few years back

  49. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Ginn was offered a contract by the Panthers but hasn’t signed.
    He could be waiting for the Niners to counter.

  50. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    He could be waiting a while . . .

  51. robNo Gravatar says:


    Lockette was clocked at 4.37 at the combine workouts. That tied for the fastest 40-yard time of any of the wide receiver prospects and was the fourth-best time of any of the players who auditioned in Indianapolis. Lockette, who played only two college seasons and is considered by scouts to be very raw as a receiver and route-runner

    HMMM maybe his being from a tiny school , lack of experience and age (25) worked against him in the draft ! harbaugh might just be on to something here ! could we have a return man and speedy 4th/5th WR here ?!!!

  52. robNo Gravatar says:

    SO what do you guys think of the new rules change ! jerry rice calls it “powderpuff football” !

  53. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Ginn appaerntly had a Contract offer from the Panthers.
    See what comes.

  54. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    On the NFL AM Show on the NFL Network Nate Burleson was a guest and asked to list the top 5 receivers in the NFL not named Calvin Johnson.
    His surprise #1 was Anquan Boldin
    whom he praised as being a clutch receiver and making everyone around him better. High praise from a fellow pro.
    Niners need to extend Boldin to a longer contract that helps with the cap. Extend it to at least 2015.

  55. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Adam Schefter is reporting that Dawson signed a one year $2.25 mil
    contract which includes a $1 mil signing bonus.
    Dawson made over $4 mil as the Brown’s kicker. Phil Dawson wanted to join the Niners and win a Super Bowl.
    Supposedly this leaves $4.6 mil in cap room.

  56. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Cards think newly signed FA QB Drew Stanton is their starter.
    Tampa Bay is now leaning towards trading their #1 and #2 picks for Revis. The Jest have found their sucker if true.

  57. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Darcel McBath has rejoined the Niners signing a 1 year deal.
    He was drafted by the Broncos as a Free Safety in the 2nd round but they gave up on him like they gave up on Cox.
    Special teams guy who might compete for Goldson’s vacated spot.

  58. robNo Gravatar says:

    JUST SAW my first bobcat !

  59. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I almost bought a Bobcat in 2005. Instead, I bought a Kabota! The Bobcat had only a front loader, the Kabota had that and a box scraper too. Plus, the Kabota could have attached a back hoe and had a PTO for a post hole digger.

  60. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Now if you are talking animals, we get an occasional mountain lion or bobcat around here. I saw a mountain lion this year while hiking behind the house. I’ve seen a bobcat and a couple of mountain lions while quading in the Sierras. I saw a mountain lion sunning in the middle of the forest road. I drove by slowly and it did not move. I turned around to see it again and it was sitting like a statue on the side of the road staring me down as I slowly drove by again. I turned around again and it was gone. That was really cool.

  61. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

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2021 Schedules
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10L
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05: L Seahawks 30, 49ers 23 12/12 · 10:00 AMCIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17