Hour of the Gong

Thanks for the well wishes, Outsiders. I’m back in the saddle, sporting one less tooth of an ever dwindling supply. It was a good, hard working tooth that had served me loyally through many thousands of happy and not so happy meals. My efforts to save him were a bit reckless and strangely life-threatening, but he deserved a solid effort during his final hours of agony.

In the end, it was the thankless call to grinding duty during far too many nights of anxious dreams and flat out nightmares that wore the poor bastard down. That and eight solid years of terrible 49er football, capped by this abysmal 2010 season. I shall miss Mr. Bottom Right Molar dearly. At least he was spared one last, horrendous and futile grind on Thursday night, December 16, for he had violently left the planet the previous evening under total anesthesia brutality. So long, my friend. You may now join your brethren in tooth heaven, where the numbers of you who were oncet here are near enough more than what is left, that a teeth grinding sentence can be concocted to mention this sad development.

Speaking of sad developments, we have your San Francisco 49ers. Enough said.

Sunday marks the beginning of the final count down to blasting into playoff orbit some woeful POS from the NFC West. Currently, with three games to go, all four teams are still alive and none of them have a winning record. In fact, with the exception of San Diego, no team west of the Rockies has a winning record. Only TWO teams west of the Mississippi have winning records. Serious Left Coast/Right Coast imbalance.

Anyway, I throw 4-9 Arizona into this playoff mix only for the fun of making sure tomorrow will feature at least one team eliminated from contention. If both Seattle and St. Louis win Sunday, the 49ers will also be eliminated. A little quieter with the yawn stifling efforts, please.

Since we Bay Area typos don’t hardly ever get to root for real football teams any more, this time of year has to suffice as the most enjoyable time. Each week, from here to the Super Bowl, we get to watch other teams experience the pain of another failed season. Gong! You’re out of here [insert franchise].

Some people probably feel like it’s unhealthy to enjoy other teams’ misfortunes. Gong! You’re outta here with the health and sanity noise. Over there to the jogging section. You can’t keep football alive and roaring 365 days a year without sacrificing a few values that a normal person would usually tote around and substituting a few vices that ALL normal persons usually tote around. Hahaha. Blind-sided the do-gooders with a little end game sucker punch. I’m rollin’. But not with Nolan. I’m warblin’. But not with Sing.

Let’s go Sunday! Can the Niners become the Best of the Worst? The Least of the Lot? The Huh, We Won champs? It all starts Sunday. I’m pumped. With Vicodin.



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18 comments on “Hour of the Gong
  1. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    Good to see you’re up and about with the rest of the walking wounded, Mr. Skeebs. Lost a tooth, eh? Lose a dozen or so more and you’ll be eligible for the next Oakland Raiders Christmas card shoot.
     
    When you say, “Gong!,” I say “Show.” That was some of the funniest 30 mins of TV ever produced. Chuck Barris is nothing short of a genius. Any man who can bring together the talents of the Unknown Comic and Gene Gene the Dancing Machine should be up for sainthood.
     
    Where’s Berger with the Dictionary.com WOTD? I can’t start my day without reading his description. I know it’s Saturday, Berger, but that doesn’t stop the fine people at Dictionary.com from churning out words. You shouldn’t take the day off either. Don’t make me resort to using it first. I bore myself with my own drivel.
     
    Notice not one mention about our 49ers? That was purely intentional.

  2. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Welcome back Skeebs. Sorry Dennis, I had replevy my rest. The office party went long and I didn’t get much sleep. That is usually because of drinking, but since all I had yesterday was a glass of wine I’ll blame it on the wind that was raising havoc last night while I was trying to sleep.
     
    No mention of the unmentionables by me either! I’m watching Pat Devlin on ESPN U. He looks good but I want to see him throw something deep.

  3. rob_No Gravatar says:

    hey , at least i’m here !

    hope to give you guys a call soon !

    go niners !

  4. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Didn’t have the time to watch Devlin Berger, give me the Scouting Report.

    I like his Bio

  5. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    BTW, I’ll be looking for a 49ers Saloon in Vegas for the Rams Game.
    Any suggestions?

  6. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebers, a moment of silence has been taken for your once brave Molar.

    Welcome back to the ranks of 9er Fan wounded.

  7. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Goddammit NJ! Vegas is 350 miles from here. Fuck those Democrats. I wish we could split the state. We are Republicans up here.
     
    Two thigs in life I hate, Democrats and Dodgers. I don’t hate you if you are a Democrat, it is just that I love mny USA and I honestly believe Democrats are anti USA. You know, political correctness, and trying to understand why getting on a plane with a towel head should not make me nervous. I guess I am not a good person to think a guy with a towel on his head has a greater chance of blowing up my plane than somebody without one. Just fuck the Democrats, I just hate them.

  8. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    So I guess that means you haven’t been to a 49er Saloon in Vegas?

    I’ve never been there before, just wondering if anyone had a recommendation.

    I don’t mind if you’re a Democrat or a Republican, so long as you’re a US Citizen and not an asshole.

    A Blues lovin’, beer drinkin’, 49ers Fan is just icing on the cake.

  9. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    BTW Berger, what can you tell me about DT Jurrell Casey from USC?

    He’s a little short but I’ve read good things about his motor and run stuffing ability.

  10. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Casey, I started the season not being impressed even though I had read about him. As time went on he developed. He got much better. I actually thought about mentioning him here.

    Not sure how I feel about him, he is definitely going to be drafted high, he was a big force for USC this year. This is a guy I would spend some time looking at film because when I think of the name Jurell Casey it gives me positive thoughts.

    NJ, you know as well as me, as junior GMs(meaning we are full of shit), we would love to spend time rating a guy like this. I have no opinion because he was a Johnny Come Lately. But his lately was very dominant. I like this guy a lot.

    Just my opinion, but even though I believe the D-line is the most important position on the field and they bust just as much as QBs, this guy will get picked high. He showed some major dominance when his stock needed it. Somebody might take a chance up in the first round, I wouldn’t. To me he is a 2nd or 3rd round pick. But since football experts understand the importance of DTs, he will go higher than he is worth. No championship has ever been won withut good DTs.

  11. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Defensive tackles are the backbone of championships. It is just that nobody really knows.

  12. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Can’t decide whether we’re planning on keeping Franklin so I’m hedging the importance of Drafting a NT.

    If we miss or pass on the QB in Rd 1 I’m thinking DE/CB/NT

    Bowers/Prince/Fairley perhaps?

    Locker is gaining momentum but, I know nothing about him, never saw him play to have a sound opinion one way or the other.

  13. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    For the nth time, Berger. When you party with Repo Ed the only thing that will get repossessed is a good chunk of your liver. Enjoy the biscuits and gravy!

  14. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    God our division is such utter reeking shit. 5-9 and we are still in it. Sing and Jed are probably giddy with excitement. The rest of us are just weak from puking.

  15. FranchiseNo Gravatar says:

    The Andrew Luck Draft Watch begins: 
     

    #1 Carolina 2-12 .143 Andrew Luck QB Stanford 
    #2 Cincinnati * 3-11 .214 A.J. Green WR Georgia 
    #3 Denver * 3-11 .214 Marcell Dareus DE Alabama 
    #4 Detroit 4-10 .286 Patrick Peterson CB LSU 
    #5 Arizona * 4-10 .286 Robert Quinn DE North Carolina 
    #6 Buffalo * 4-10 .286 Jake Locker QB Washington 
    #7 San Francisco * 5-9 .357 Nick Fairley DT Auburn 
    #8 Cleveland 5-9 .357 Akeem Ayers LB UCLA 
    #9 Washington 5-9 .357 Justin Blackmon WR Oklahoma 
    #10 Dallas 5-9 .357 Adrian Clayborn DE Iowa 
    #11 Minnesota 5-8 .385 Julio Jones WR Alabama 

     
    * Teams who will try and trade up to that blessed spot, swap #1’s, and give Jerry Richardson more draft picks than heartburns at his Hardees restaurants. 
     

  16. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Another thought I’ve had regarding our future at HC and QB –

    Should we continue to erode our Draft slotting with a possible Playoff berth, could it be possible to add Marty Mornhinweg to our search list and possibly take a shot with Cam Newton?

    Mornhinweg has helped turn Michael Vick into a MONSTER –

  17. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    If the Niners draft Cam Newton I’ll stick my face in a fan. F him. F his father. And F his mother if he has one. But now that I think about it, scratch that last request from the record. Mother? He’s a motherless son of a F. That ends that. Sell the farm [Stanford] and trade up to get Luck.
     
    Dear Santa, you know what the hell I want. Just bring Andrew from the farm and I’ll leave out the oatmeal cookies for ya like I always do. No fuss, no muss. Leave Andrew Luck underneath my tree this year or don’t even bother to ever come again.
     
    Love,
     
    Dennis
     
    PS:I’m not joking. Bring me Andrew Luck or I’ll beat, batter and bunch your reindeer’s panties in Christmas knots.
     
    Merry Christmas and Go Rams!

  18. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Dennis-
    Andrew would be a miracle, the likes of which we haven’t seen since Bill landed Jerry.

    We do hold 10 picks in April, most in the Draft, mostly late Rounders however but, ammunition counts.
    We can only wait and see what develops.

2021 Schedule
09/12 - 10:00 AM @ DET
09/19 · 10:00 AM @ PHI
09/26 · 5:20 PM v GB
10/03 · 1:05 PM v SEA
10/10 · 1:25 PM @ AZ
10/17 BYE
10/24 · 5:20 PM v IND
10/31 · 10:00 AM @ CHI
11/07 · 1:25 PM v AZ
11/15 · 5:15 PM v LAR
11/21 · 10:00 AM @ JAX
11/28 · 1:25 PM v MIN
12/05 · 5:20 PM @ SEA
12/12 · 10:00 AM @ CIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
 
2020 Prognostications (Mulligan Version)
WINNERS:
Bullit: 6-10
NJ49er: 6-10

LOSERS:
Skeebers: 7-9
Winder: 4-12

ABSTAINERS:
Grumpy: DNP
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