Thanks for the well wishes, Outsiders. I’m back in the saddle, sporting one less tooth of an ever dwindling supply. It was a good, hard working tooth that had served me loyally through many thousands of happy and not so happy meals. My efforts to save him were a bit reckless and strangely life-threatening, but he deserved a solid effort during his final hours of agony.
In the end, it was the thankless call to grinding duty during far too many nights of anxious dreams and flat out nightmares that wore the poor bastard down. That and eight solid years of terrible 49er football, capped by this abysmal 2010 season. I shall miss Mr. Bottom Right Molar dearly. At least he was spared one last, horrendous and futile grind on Thursday night, December 16, for he had violently left the planet the previous evening under total anesthesia brutality. So long, my friend. You may now join your brethren in tooth heaven, where the numbers of you who were oncet here are near enough more than what is left, that a teeth grinding sentence can be concocted to mention this sad development.
Speaking of sad developments, we have your San Francisco 49ers. Enough said.
Sunday marks the beginning of the final count down to blasting into playoff orbit some woeful POS from the NFC West. Currently, with three games to go, all four teams are still alive and none of them have a winning record. In fact, with the exception of San Diego, no team west of the Rockies has a winning record. Only TWO teams west of the Mississippi have winning records. Serious Left Coast/Right Coast imbalance.
Anyway, I throw 4-9 Arizona into this playoff mix only for the fun of making sure tomorrow will feature at least one team eliminated from contention. If both Seattle and St. Louis win Sunday, the 49ers will also be eliminated. A little quieter with the yawn stifling efforts, please.
Since we Bay Area typos don’t hardly ever get to root for real football teams any more, this time of year has to suffice as the most enjoyable time. Each week, from here to the Super Bowl, we get to watch other teams experience the pain of another failed season. Gong! You’re out of here [insert franchise].
Some people probably feel like it’s unhealthy to enjoy other teams’ misfortunes. Gong! You’re outta here with the health and sanity noise. Over there to the jogging section. You can’t keep football alive and roaring 365 days a year without sacrificing a few values that a normal person would usually tote around and substituting a few vices that ALL normal persons usually tote around. Hahaha. Blind-sided the do-gooders with a little end game sucker punch. I’m rollin’. But not with Nolan. I’m warblin’. But not with Sing.
Let’s go Sunday! Can the Niners become the Best of the Worst? The Least of the Lot? The Huh, We Won champs? It all starts Sunday. I’m pumped. With Vicodin.