Gimme Some of That Old Time Weird

Now that the problems with the offense have been exorcised, what about the defense? We’ve had two mediocre teams make the 2010 49er defense look a whole lot like the 2005 49er defense. El stinky poo poo.

How is this happening? Is there an exorcist available to fix the problem? The defense has the exact same starting lineup this year as last year. They should be getting better, not worse. Last year, the team was one of the best in the NFL at keeping teams out of the end zone and making them settle for field goals. This year, teams are waltzing into the end zone every time they get near it. Even old crippled up Matt Hasselbeck trotted in on us. Last year he tried that and Patrick Willis nearly broke his back at the two yard line.

Sunday, we just happen to be playing the Falcons, the team that last year laid the biggest whipping on the 49ers that the franchise as ever endured. And that was at Candlestick. This year’s game is in Georgia. There isn’t a sane person on the planet who could expect us to win this game, much less even be competitive in it.

But sane people tend to avoid football altogether, or use it as an escape from sanity. Football is a place we can all go to and become stark raving nuts — and it’s legal!

This scribbler has no idea what will happen next Sunday. It’s the fourth game of the season and the game where teams start settling in to the type of team they are going to be this year. The first three games are often wildly unpredictable, but by the fourth game the rust of the off season is gone, game film on opponents becomes valuable, and good teams start to separate themselves from bad teams, while bad teams start to lose their optimism and energy and begin the long grind of getting their butts whipped every week.

It was this fourth game last year that exposed Shaun Hill and the 49ers secondary and set the team on the course to a so-so season. A mediocre team. More pretender than contender. Gritty and competitive, but not at all scary.

The only advantage the Niners have next Sunday, and the following two, is that nobody has any film at all of the Mike Johnson offense. Atlanta must be scratching their heads this week about what sort of defense they should practice. Hopefully, they are also snickering at getting such an easy game after their super pumped victory over the Saints last Sunday.

See how the insane mind of a football fan twists reality into contorted shapes to achieve HOPE. Hahaha. The 49ers will catch the Falcons NAPPING. STROLLING. HIGH-STEPPING. OFF GUARD. You sanity plodders can roll your eyes all you want, but weird stuff does indeed happen on a football field from time to time.

True, the weird factor has not exactly been positive for this franchise lately. No, we get weird stuff like a 40 year old QB heaving a Hail Mary miracle 35 yard TD to beat us with one second left on the clock. Just last weekend, Seattle got two kickoff returns for TDs from a guy who many thought was so injured last year that he would never be worth crap again. Arizona gets weird stuff like Sebastian Janikowski, the biggest leg in the game, missing a ten yard chip shot field goal at the buzzer that would have beat them.

Hey, football gods, isn’t it like you know time for OUR team to get some happy weird stuff? Some of that “Look! The ball bounced right into my hands and I ran for a touchdown easy as pie.” Not to tell you what to do or anything, but just as a suggestion, how about maybe giving us the rosy weird this weekend? This is not a prayer, mind you. I’m holding off on that till the LAST DESPERATE HOUR. No, it’s just a gentle reminder that you get a kick out of bamboozling the masses and this weekend is a perfect opportunity. Am I right, god guys? Sure I am. Think about it. It’s a keeper. Trust me.

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14 comments on “Gimme Some of That Old Time Weird
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The thing about promoting Mike Johnson is we don’t know what we are going to get. That is the bad. The good far outweighs the bad and that is we know what we got from Jimmy Raye and we know it was bad. At this point I am ready for anything else, how can it be worse? Right?

  2. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Maybe Johnson will be the weird factor. A guy who comes out of nowhere and is the second coming of … anybody who can call plays creatively. Nobody in the league has any film of the Niners running a creative offense, that’s for sure.

  3. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs- This is how play callers are discovered. We can only hope we’ve come across a good one here. On the other side of the coin are discoveries like Hosler.

  4. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Reno, the comparisons to the 2007 season are more than enough without bringing up THAT name . . .

  5. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Might as well say “Preston Riley!”


  6. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Preston Riley!

  7. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    The Giants Magic Number is now: 4. That’s the only good thing I could think of saying this morning. Especially after Berger brought up Jim Hostler. Followed by Chuck mentioning P*****n R***y. Add in another sweltering Wednesday, and this morning sucks.

  8. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Jose Guillen!

  9. robNo Gravatar says:

    jimmy raye

  10. robNo Gravatar says:

    c’mon guys , this was NOT completely unforseen ! reports were out before the season that johnson was a coordinator in waiting here !

  11. robNo Gravatar says:

    we should have made the move before the season !

  12. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Well, fuck,. Rob, I’ve been saying that since Johnson was HIRED.

    They should have fired Nolan after the 2007 season. They MAY need to fire Singletary at the bye.

    2-6 at the break will not bode well for Samurai Mike.

    If they beat the Raiders, Carol, and either Denver, Philly, or Atl (doubtful), then they may yet salvage she season.

  13. robNo Gravatar says:

    i spotted nobrain for a poser in his first offseason in 05 ! they never should have hired that doofus ! i know you were campaigning for johnson all along and berger was dogging raye the whole time !
    at least we have a shot now !
    (i hope ! :))
    sing better hope his masterplan of mike johnson is a good one otherwise his goose is cooked !
    i for one hope like hell they succeed , because if not
    guess who …
    will still have the real final say over the next coaching search !

  14. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Go Flying Johnsons!

2021 Schedules
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10L
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05: L Seahawks 30, 49ers 23 12/12 · 10:00 AMCIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17