A Few Good Fat Guys

The 2013 Draft doesn’t have much buzz to it this year. Not only are there no superstar QBs in the draft, the top player might be an offensive guard! You can’t get much unsexier than that unless you attended a nude photo shoot of the Extremely Ugly Women’s Society for their annual calendar which is distributed throughout China to discourage reproduction.

Perhaps the Combine events this weekend will change the landscape, but for 49er fans it doesn’t much matter. The team will be drafting next to last in each round, which is a long way from the titillation room.

The 49ers have fourteen picks in the coming draft, twice the norm, but six of them are in the sixth and seventh rounds and the two fifth rounders are near the bottom of that round. So it would be a more than a pleasant surprise to see any of those picks make an impact in the coming season. In fact, it’s still questionable how much impact our 2012 draft will have on the coming season. Except for LaMichael James, the 2012 class was a season long no-show.

The key to this draft is likely to be the third round, where the 49ers have three picks — their own, a compensatory, and the Panthers pick acquired last year in a draft day trade. Which means from the bottom of the second round to the bottom of the third, Trent Baalke will be drafting FOUR players. Defensive linemen will be targeted, which may put an end to the mostly bench time careers of Ian Williams, Demarcus Dobbs, and Will Tukuafu. Adding to the D-line uncertainty is the pending free agency of Isaac Sopoaga and Ricky Jean-Francois. This is a key draft for the future of the defense. Get it right, and we’ll continue to have a top ten D. Get it wrong and hello mayhem.

One last note for those of you who will be flying to Indianapolis with your stopwatches for this weekend’s dash times, be advised that it is better to let the air out of the bag along the way. According to a recent study, that was actually conducted and apparently paid for, it is healthier to go ahead and play the butt trumpet rather than stifling yourself. Men have always known about this fun and humorous health aid, but women tend to view gas as an evil and disgusting menace. The study also concluded that female emanations tend to be stinkier than the male bombast variety, so perhaps that explains the bad attitude women have towards this subject. At any rate, blast away guys. It’s doctor’s orders!

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41 comments on “A Few Good Fat Guys
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I love it when an article makes me feel better about myself when I fart!

  2. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    The average citizen has ten expulsions per day. There are 7.067 billion people on the planet. That’s seventy billion ka-booms per day. Has this been factored into global warming?

  3. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Especially when cows are added to the equation.

    This begs the question, would Al Gore admit to farting?

  4. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Ran across this short film.
    IMHO worth watching simply because it’s superb

  5. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Simply put anybody who doesn’t admit to farting is full of poop
    (quite literally) aka constipated.

  6. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    On topic this subject begs for this scene to be posted.
    Some funny sheet

  7. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    From Maiocco here’s the 2013 Niner draft picks so far without the 3 compensatory picks that will be assigned
    1. First round, No. 31 (No. 31 overall): Own pick
    2. Second round, No. 31 (No. 61 overall): Own pick
    3. Third round, No. 12 (No. 74 overall): From Carolina in trade-back during 2012 draft
    4. Third round, No 31 (No. 93 overall): Own pick
    5. Fourth round, No. 31 (TBA): Own pick
    6. Fifth round, No. 24 (TBA): From Indianapolis in trade-back during 2012 draft
    7. Fifth round, No. 31 (TBA): Own pick
    8. Sixth round, No. 12 (TBA): From Miami in trade-back during 2012 draft
    9. Sixth round, No. 31 (TBA): Own pick
    10. Seventh round, No. 21 (TBA): From Cincinnati for Taylor Mays
    11. Seventh round, No. 31, (TBA): Own pick

  8. winderNo Gravatar says:

    I’ve been saying that about farting for years. Nobody else in the house agrees but what do they know.

  9. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Signs of the times:

    “Back in early 1990s, there were no more than a dozen reporters covering combine. This year, the NFL issued 800 media credentials for it.”

  10. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Some sad news, Walt Easley FB who was on the 81 Super Bowl Championship Team passed away at the age of 55.
    He only played 2 years for the Niners before jumping to the USFL Chicago Blitz for a bigger contract.
    The end result he got the money but not the pension and the medical from the NFL that would have helped him during his illness.
    RIP Walt Easley

  11. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Rob, buddy, “uh oh” what? Am I missing something here? We can’t dump that POS fast enough. Unfortunately, like most of you thought there would be, there is no interest from other teams. Philly resigned the Puppy Killer. Now they’re looking to shop Nick Foles (whom I’ve liked since his days at UA) for draft picks. KC seems very interested. In Foles, not Alex.
    And for all of you that were fantasizing that Alex would garner a 1st or 2nd rd. pick in return? WAKE THE EFF UP! A 4th and maybe a conditional. Like I’ve said from the beginning. But that’s if the fish are biting. Regardless of what you’ve heard about “The Niners are not likely to release Alex.” Like Judge Smails told his grandson, Spalding; “You’ll get nothing and like it!”

  12. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Cleve is shopping Weeden AND McCoy. I wonder why, Dennis? KC or Cleve is where Smith lands.

  13. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Turner would love to get Smith back. And I’m sure Andy Reid would love to have a guy like Alex under center after his puppy killer days.

  14. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Cleveland is shopping Weeden already? Damn. You can go back to my comments re: Weeden and the entire Browns draft. Check the recorded phone message between Berger me…Hated it! The Brownies moved up ONE friggin’ spot with the Vikes by donating their; 4th, 5th and 7th rd selections to draft Trent Richardson. Minnesota wasn’t going to draft a RB with the 3rd overall pick regardless of AD’s health. And he was A. OK. Cleveland got suckered in. Where did that term come from? Damn skippy. Mel Brooks in “Blazing Saddles.” Taggert: “We’ve been suckered in.”
    They’ll bury me with my original screenplay of “Blazing Saddles.”
    People may think I was wrongfully hung by my neck until I was dead. But they’d be wrong. They’d ask: “Del Mar, they said you were hung?” And I’d reply: And they was right! 馃榾

  15. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    NFL Network is reporting that the Niners are talking to Josh Cribbs
    who seems to no longer be in the Brownie’s plans.
    He is looking for $1.5-$2mil/yr and would be a nice replacement for Ginn who wants to play receiver and whom Ted Sr. said is going elsewhere.

  16. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Ryan Swope ran a 4.34 40 at the combine. I always thought of him as a possession receiver but he has top end speed. He’s 6.0 ft and 205 lbs so he’s got size.
    Projected as a 4th rounder I’d take a look with our first 3rd round pick if he were still there
    at #74.
    He’ll probably move up on most draft boards

  17. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    bullit- Your boy Goodwin ran a 4.27. Tell us a little about him.

  18. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Goodwin is a burner Berger, just a pint sized guy of 5’9″-ish.
    At that size, I’d prefer Tavon Austin for his abilities in the slot, as a PR and a slot guy.
    Austin is a game changer.

  19. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Meant to say as a RB, slot guy and PR.

  20. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    WR Justin Hunter is staying on my radar too.

  21. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Goodwin kinda took his senior year off to train and compete for the Olympics.
    He skipped the off season training
    and Spring Football.
    Then in Oct after the Olympics he decided to come back and play out his senior year.
    Goodwin is a football player that also is a world class track guy.
    I say he has good value around the 4th round. He returns kickoffs but not punts and has a bunch of TDs that way and he runs a devastating end around what they now call the fly sweep.

  22. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    La Canfora: “The 49ers have expressed to others that a deal for QB Alex Smith is effectively complete. Can’t be finalized til league year begins 3/12.”

  23. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Interesting video
    Robert Woods WR has met one on one with Harbaugh and WR Ace Sanders has been working out with Kaepernick in Atlanta

  24. robNo Gravatar says:

    OH WELL i’m sorry to see alex go , but im sure a lot of fans will jump for joy when he’s gone !
    imho losing smith and getting nothing means we wasted a number one pick and got nothing out of it !
    thx SKEEBS for the news ! it’s good to know we’ll get something for smith ! i wonder if it could include a player ?

    i think it’s a real bummer that people despise smith so much !
    imo he did nothing wrong and everything right !

  25. bullitNo Gravatar says:


    Got nothing in return? In the 2011 season he led to the team into the Playoffs for the first time in ages and helped beat the Aints to get to the NFC Championship.
    This past season he started 9 games and his record was 6-2 which helped the team make it to the Super Bowl.
    Alex Smith has helped make the Niners an elite team again and it is unknown if we are where we are without him.
    The talk is he will be traded for
    value. It just depends what value the trading partner places on AS.

  26. bullitNo Gravatar says:


    SI is running with that story too and speculation is our trading partner is KC and Andy Reid.

    I would not mind it they traded Smith and pick #61 for KC’s second round pick #33.
    Stay tuned.


  27. robNo Gravatar says:


    smith kicked asss in the game vs. new orleans that got us back to the NFC championship for the 1st time in like 18 years !

  28. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I like Woods and Ace Sanders.
    Not a bad duo.

  29. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Ace is PR specialist as well.
    I’ve seen comparisons to Roscoe Parrish.
    Probably find him in the later Rds.

  30. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    With Manningham and Kyle Williams you have durability issues as their careers have been plagued by injuries.
    Manningham has missed 28 games in 5 seasons and Kyle Williams 19 games in 3 seasons.
    Both have a hard time lasting a season and you have to approach the draft with that in mind and take multiple WR prospects starting in round 3 with AJ Jenkins developing and improving as planned.

  31. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Demontre Moore DE out of Texas A&M
    was considered a top ten pick.
    Today in the weight room he could only manage 12 reps on the bench press.
    That could start a freefall for him in the draft plunging him lower.
    12 is pathetic for a lineman when some guys are doing 38 reps as the top number.

  32. robNo Gravatar says:

    Ace Sanders, WR, South Carolina
    Height: 5-8. Weight: 176.
    Projected 40 Time: 4.43.
    Projected Round (2013): 3-5.
    2/16/13: Sanders was a big-play threat for South Carolina. The junior caught 45 passes for 531 yards and nine touchdowns in 2012. The speedster is a threat to score any time he touches the ball. Sanders also averaged 11.2 yards per punt return in his career, including three touchdowns. He should contribute as a punt returner immediately in the NFL.

  33. robNo Gravatar says:

    Robert Woods*, WR, USC
    Height: 6-1. Weight: 180.
    Projected 40 Time: 4.40.
    Projected Round (2013): 2-3.
    2/16/13: Woods was less than 100 percent in 2012; his ankle injury robbed him of explosion and top speed. He was not a big-play threat as a result and wasn’t getting as much separation from defensive backs.

    Woods still had a great outing against Syracuse. He caught 10 passes for 94 yards and two touchdowns while running the ball once for 76 yards and returning a punt 31 yards. The junior totaled 76 receptions for 846 yards and 11 touchdowns in 2012. Woods’ only 100-yard receiving game this year was against Colorado.

    8/17/12: Woods caught 65 passes for 792 yards and six touchdowns as a freshman in 2010. To open his sophomore season, he had a record-setting game with 17 receptions for 177 yards and three touchdowns against Minnesota. Woods then broke his own record three weeks later against Arizona, catching 14 passes for 255 yards and two touchdowns. He put up a total 1,292 yards on 111 receptions with 15 touchdowns last year.

    Woods looks NFL-ready with speed to burn. Woods easily gets separation from defensive backs as they struggle to turn and run with him. Furthermore, he is very quick in and out of his breaks, with well-developed route running. Woods also has reliable hands and is a scoring threat on any play. He is fabulous as a run-after-the-catch receiver.

    While Woods has good height, he is not overly physical with cornerbacks. Woods seems to prefer to beat them with his speed and athleticism. It would help if he filled out his frame with another 10-20 pounds of muscle for the NFL. If Woods can do that without diminishing his speed, it should help him to defeat jams at the line of scrimmage, and not allow himself to have the play timing disrupted by rerouting.

  34. robNo Gravatar says:

    i agree , these two sound really good to me ! i would be very happy to see us add both to our team with a few of our many picks ! i’m not so sure a.j. jenkins is going to be able to make the team next year !

  35. robNo Gravatar says:

    HERE’S one more just for fun !

    how about a 5th rd. pick for this guy …

    Aaron Mellette, WR, Elon
    Height: 6-2. Weight: 216. Arm: 32 1/8. Hand: 9 5/8.
    Projected 40 Time: 4.58.
    Projected Round (2013): 3-5.
    2/16/13: Mellette had a very productive college career and dominated his lower level of competition. The senior caught 97 passes for 1,398 yards with 18 touchdowns in 2012. Unfortunately, the only good opponent he faced was North Carolina and the Tar Heels held him to nine yards on two receptions. Mellette had big production as a junior (113 catches, 1,639 yards, 12 touchdowns) and sophomore (86 catches, 1,100 yards, 12 scores).

    Still, Mellette held his own at the Senior Bowl. He used his size and strength to make plays and helped himself with a good overall performance.

  36. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Bullit I’ve speculated on Chucks’ Blog, the reported Alex trade.
    Be nice if KC were the trade partner and offered a swap of our higher 3rd Rd Pick,(74) with theirs (63), plus their ’14 2nd Rd Pick.
    If that occurred, we would then hold Picks 61 & 63 in April plus, potentially, their 2nd next year.
    We’ll have several weeks of ‘What Ifs’ now, until it’s released and completed.

  37. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Rob I liked Mellettes’ numbers until he ran a 4.58.
    Big target, but he won’t separate very well at that speed.
    He’d take time trying to catch up from a smaller Division at the Pro level IMO.

  38. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    WR Josh Boyce from TCU laid down a blazing 40 performance.
    He’s on the radar now for me.
    Late Rd slot guy perhaps?

  39. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

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2021 Schedules
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10L
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05: L Seahawks 30, 49ers 23 12/12 路 10:00 AMCIN
12/19 路 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 路 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 路 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 路 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17