Blog Archives

Damage Control

Wildcard weekend was mostly entertaining. All four home teams lost. Two were beaten soundly and two snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, one via thug idiocy and the other via the traditional mode of gagging. If it’s any consolation,

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Posted in Angst 101

49ers 19, Rams 16

Two delsultory teams closed out their desultory seasons yesterday with a desultory overtime mess that the 49ers won via FG after the Rams had botched their own effort to win via FG. Of the 49ers five wins this season, two

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Posted in Post Game Spread

It Didn’t Play in Peoria

One more game until the most anticipated match-up of the entire season: Jed York vs. Bay Area Media. The last time York faced the media, nearly a year ago, he was broiled alive. And that was before the 2015 season

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Posted in Game Previews

Lions 32, 49ers 17

The 49ers set an NFL record Sunday in Detroit: most offside penalties in one half. Six. And that’s your 49er highlights for the game! They also nailed themselves to the basement floor in the NFC West. Next week, the team

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Motown Meh

The 49ers travel to Detroit this weekend for a game that has very little significance. If the Niners win, they’ll fall below the Lions in the 2016 Draft slotting. If Detroit wins, it will give the Niners a 1-7 road

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Posted in Game Previews

Bengals 24, 49ers 14

For most of the first half, the 49ers and Bengals held a punting contest. Very scintillating viewing. Then quite suddenly, with five minutes left until halftime, the Bengals put up 21 points. One TD came after an Anquan Boldin fumble

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Fun House

The on-again off-again 49ers have a home game this Sunday. That usually means they’re on. The game is against the powerhouse Bengals, though, so maybe they’ll be off. However, Bengals’ QB Andy Dalton is injured and won’t play, so maybe

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Posted in Game Previews

Browns 24, 49ers 10

The Blaine Gabbert Era turned a jubilant corner last week against the Bears, only to run smack into a brick wall this week in Cleveland. The two win Browns completely dominated the game, out gaining the 49ers 481-221 yards, with

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Streaky Clean

Twelve games into the 2015 season, the 49ers have yet to win so much as two games in a row. They’ve lost four in a row, and have a couple of two game losing streaks, but all four victories this

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Posted in Game Previews

49ers 26, Bears 20

In the “blind squirrel finds nut” department, the 49ers won their first road game of the year Sunday in Chicago by being slightly less inept than the Bears. The game featured 15 punts — six by the Bears and nine

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Cardinals 19, 49ers 13

The 49ers lost to the Cardinals Sunday in Santa Clara, imploding their record to 3-8 and 0-5 in the NFC West. But, this is the new Niners and we’ve had to trade in our old adjectives, like mighty and powerful,

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Posted in Post Game Spread

The Vultures Are Circling

The 49er players have now firmly taken a back seat to the 49er front office in terms of scrutiny and speculation. The rest of the season will be less and less about whether the team wins or loses games, and

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Posted in Game Previews

Seahawks 29, 49ers 13

The 49ers kept their road record perfect on Sunday in Seattle, losing 29-13 for their fifth consecutive road loss. Once again, it was the defense that led the way to defeat as Seahawks backup RB Thomas Rawls bulled through them

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Back to Work Week

After an intense week of delusional therapy, the 49ers resume their fall from grace this week by traveling to Seattle to be squashed like a bug before returning home to be thoroughly thrashed by the Arizona Cardinals. At that point,

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Halftime Highlights

Halfway through the season, the Niners have become the musical chairs franchise. QBs in, QBs out. RBs in, RBs out. CBs in, CBs out. TEs in, TEs out. RG and RT in and out and in and out. Apparently, our

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Recycling Center

Blaine Gabbert. Not exactly a power-packed name. Kind of dribbles off your tongue like a fumbled hike from the center. But, Blaine it is. And he has one sure thing going for him: he’s not Colin Kaepernick. We’ll find out

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Posted in Game Previews

Rams 27, 49ers 6

The 49ers ran their perfect non-winning road streak to 4 games Sunday by flying to St. Louis and straight into the Rams windshield, where they were scraped off 27-6. In losing their sixth game in eight tries, the 49ers put

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Stuck Inside of Mobile

The 49ers have been soundly beaten by the Cardinals and the Seahawks. They’ll get whipped again by each of them this year. Next Sunday we’ll find out if they get trashed by the Rams, too. And with the fearsome front

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Seahawks 20, 49ers 3

The San Francisco 49ers’ two game flirtation as a bona fide NFL entity came to a screeching halt Thursday night as the Seattle Seahawks pounded them into oblivion, ravaged their village, stole their manhood, ran off with their wives, and

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Battle of the Suckitudes

The 49er players are treating their loss to the Giants as some sort of team victory and a sign that their fortunes are on the way up. That illusion has a chance to be bolstered this weekend with an actual

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Posted in Game Previews

Big Ass Parade

49er QB Colin Kaepernick laid a huge ass egg last Sunday in Arizona. He’s taken a big ass beating from the press all week because of it. An agonizing event like that can break a guy. Or it can be

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Posted in Game Previews

Cardinals 47, 49ers 7

As Denny Green would say, more or less: “They are who we thought they were!” For the second straight week, the 49ers endured a complete butt whipping. Last week Pittsburgh did the honors 43-18, and this week Arizona outdid that

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Posted in Post Game Spread
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs. Carolina, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 17: at Seattle, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams, 5:25 p.m.
Oct. 1: at Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis, 10 a.m.
Oct. 15: at Washington, 10 a.m.
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2016 Prognostications
Closest To The Pin
  Grumpy: 3-13
  Spitblood: 3-13
  Winder: 3-13
Bakkentom: 0-16
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 8-8, 7-9, 9-7, 10-6
Mr Fletch: 4-12
NJ49er: 5-11
Phil Fan: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 7-9
Skeebers: 6-10

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