Blaine Gabbert. Not exactly a power-packed name. Kind of dribbles off your tongue like a fumbled hike from the center. But, Blaine it is. And he has one sure thing going for him: he’s not Colin Kaepernick. We’ll find out Sunday if he has anything else going for him.
Not that it matters. The team itself has nothing going for it and there’s no way to change that this season. Which means we’ll continue to enjoy big ass beatings for another eight games.
The 49ers now have a 30% chance of earning the number one pick in next year’s draft, according to the collection of nerds who calculate these sorts of things. Or maybe there’s just a collection of drunks out there that make up some shit when bribed with an appropriate offering.
It doesn’t take even a barnyard degree to figure out this team is a definite contender for worst in the league this year. Worst everything. Worst owner. Worst GM. Worst coaching staff. Worst team.
Which is precisely where the 49er franchise was during the 2004 season. That team finished dead last in the league, got the number one draft pick for 2005, cleaned house, and little boy Jed York took over the reins from his useless father John York. A new era began. But after ten years, we are right back where we started. John York demolished the highly successful Eddie Debartolo era and now Jed York has demolished the highly successful Jim Harbaugh era. These boys sure know how to spoil a party.
So, here we are. Dead in the water. An owner who’s so far removed from maturity or competence that the franchise will flounder for years to come. Jed is young enough to be a complete dildo for decades.
“Lions’ owner Martha Firestone Ford said Thursday that the franchise will embark on a ‘national search for the best leadership to manage our team going forward.’” Sound familiar? Martha is a pretty old gal and the Lions have never even BEEN to a Super Bowl. They came close under Wayne Fontes in the early ’90s, but close was not enough and Fontes got fired and Detroit has been nothing since.
Jed York has already tossed out the “national search” rhetoric three times in ten years. Once before hiring Mike Nolan. Again before hiring Trent Baalke. And once again before settling on Jim Tomsula.
49er fans are at the crossroads of devotion. The owner is a proven putz. Fans can either keep thinking next year will be better, running more slants and bubble screens will improve the offense, getting a better O-line or QB, etc. will make the team contenders again. The minutiae of armchair GMs who forget that it all starts at the top and Jed is that top. Or fans can find another team to root for. Or fans can embrace the badness and watch the Niners for laughs, while York tries feebly to explain it all away.
And it all starts Sunday. Day One of the Blaine Gabbert Cameo. And there will be more. Of that we can be sure.