Hazmat Warning

The Houston Texans, to our knowledge, are not appreciably different than any other Texans living in the state that, by position and shape, looks like a giant, loose turd squeezing forth from the butt of America. Perhaps they feel that people living outside of this toxic zone don’t realize where Houston is, mapologically speaking.

Texas

[cartographer’s rendering]

At any rate, it’s kind of a dumb team name. Along the lines of the New York New Jerseys or Philadelphia Pennsylvanians or St. Louis Missourians. Pretty stupid. But what can you expect from denizens who are proud to live inside a bowel movement.

Speaking of the brown stuff, Houston’s QB Matt Schaub is in deep, deep doo-doo with his fan base, his teammates, management, restaurant owners, and probably even his mother. Schaub is one of those guys who play smaller the longer a game goes. If it’s the first quarter, he’s great. If it’s the fourth quarter, get ready to cringe every time he drops back to pass.

Of course, now that I’ve dismissed him as a prime time player, Schaub will probably have a career game against the Niners, leading the Houstonians to an all out rout. It’ll be the only game all year that he plays like a top notch QB. Seattle gets the real Schaub who hands them a game right on cue and we get the out-of-my-mind Schaub who heaves six TD passes and gets to sit out the 4th quarter and not be able to implode.

Needless to say, if the Niners lose at home to a team that Seattle beat on the road, it’s time to throw in the towel on the 2013 season.

On paper, the Texans are an elite team. Great running game, great passing game, very good defense. They just don’t seem to ever play like an elite team, their whole never quite measuring up to its parts. They will be fired up this week, after last Sunday’s embarrassing loss. Kind of like the 49ers were fired up against the Rams last weekend. But a couple of quick TDs should put that fire out in a hurry.

Two more quarterbacks who run around with the ball were knocked out of games Thursday night, joining Terrelle Pryor who was conked last week, and the more famous case of Robert Griffin from last year. It’s only a matter of time before Russell Wilson gets knocked into the ozone on one of his mad run-all-over-hell scrambles. When he goes down, so do the Seahawks. It might not happen this week, or next, or even this season. But it will happen.

This week would certainly be fine, though. Go Colts!

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178 comments on “Hazmat Warning
  1. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebers

    Have you ever been to Austin?
    Let me just say this, Texas just like anywhere else has good things and bad things. Generalizing leads to ignorance. I’ll just leave it at that.

  2. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Speaking of dumb names
    I love the Warriors but one of the dumbest names in sports has to be The Golden State Warriors.
    When Mieuli moved the team to the Oakland Coliseum he just couldn’t bring himself attach Oakland in front of Warriors.
    The better and more relevant choice might have been Bay Area Warriors.
    If they build the waterfront arena
    in the City they can revert back to San Francisco Warriors.
    Lose the Golden State. It’s like naming the Rams The Show Me State Rams.

  3. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Denny

    In light of your recent switch to Raiduh Nation ESPN has honored you
    with a cover photo. Way to go Denny, you finally made albeit in Silver and Black!
    https://twitter.com/espnmag/status/385100592588136449

  4. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Del looks good wearing Howie Long’s old jersey.!

  5. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I’m going to have to remember how I miss-spelled my email. I like that gravitar!

  6. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Another thing I like is Texas. Beautiful country, beautiful women and choking QBs. Choking QBs is good since I don’t like their football teams.

  7. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    QBs that slide to late are going to get hurt more often than QBs who just run the ball and get hit. I learned early on in football to be the one delivering the hits to decrease the chances of getting hurt. When a QB slides too late he is absorbing hits. I think he would be better off sliding early and giving up a couple of yards. If it is too late for that just hit somebody. Hoyer got hurt last nigh sliding too late. Manuel wasn’t sliding but he was trying to avoid a hit and got out of bounds too late.

  8. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Berger

    Seems like QBs are getting hurt because they tense up anticipating the hit as opposed to being relaxed.
    Similar to an being in a car crash
    when there will be more damage to your body if you brace yourself for impact rather than being in a relaxed state and having the seatbelt and the airbags protect you.
    QBs are definitely getting hurt because they are indecisive about sliding and when they do it, it’s awkward.
    As for the ESPN cover I got a kick out of the reaction from Raiduh Nation.

  9. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Berger

    Texas and Mack Brown lucked out last night with a controversial call on a Texas fumble at the end in a game which Texas escaped.
    Paul Rhoads the coach at Iowa State is one of the best coaches in the Big 12 (along with Gary Patterson TCU).
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ska5AMWbtw

  10. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Like clockwork, I get Hioter off the waiver wire, and he goes down like a sack of potatoes. The only lucky thing about it was I was too busy to start him . . .

  11. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Hoyer . . . sheesh . . .

  12. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Browns just can’t buy a break. Hoyer tore his ACL, done for the year.

  13. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    ESPN wasn’t supposed to run that spread until later this month, they ruined the surprise. That’s my Halloween costume.
     
    At least Kap didn’t repeatedly “goose” me like Alex did in last year’s photo shoot. I wonder about him sometimes.

  14. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebers, when I saw the Texas diagram the first thing I thought of was the small intestine. Then I read your description. We both have the state of Texas doing the same act, I just see the excrement leaving from the inside.

  15. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    You forgot this site is the “Outsiders.”

  16. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    bullit- I was watching the Texas-Iowa State game last night.
    I knew Texas was going to get that call, just like they got a similar call last year. There is no possible way the ref is that incompetent. Everybody who saw the game knows what the truth is. So then what happened? Texas being successful is worth more to that conference than Iowa State being successful. That ref knows who feeds him. If I were the commissioner of that conference I would fire that ref today to stop that funny business now. I’m not saying anybody was paid off, I’m saying everybody knows what makes that conference money and it isn’t Iowa St. And who really knows, maybe he was paid off? Anybody watching that game who isn’t a Texas fan would surely question that.

  17. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Berger

    I even question the call.
    In college do they still have forward progress stopped and the whistle blowing?
    Then again you have the opposite side where Raiduh Nation says all calls go against them.
    They’ll have a chance to fire Mack Brown next week when Texas plays blO-U.
    Many opportunities with Baylor and Okie St on the schedule.

  18. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebers

    Following your geographical knowledge, right at the tip of Texas where the chicken flap would be is the city of Brownsville. How apropos.

  19. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    What Houaton fans really think:
    .
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQS81Sn8QFw

  20. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    bullit- I’m not rooting against Texas. It’s just that something fishy is going on in the Big-12. Makes one wonder about the credibility of that conference. The PAC-12 had a similar situation in basketball last year and the commissioner cleaned it up fast with some quick firings, errrr, resignations. I believe that might be necessary for the Big-12.

  21. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I give better than 50-50 odds that Josh Freeman lands in Oakland.

  22. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Anybody here planning one of these? A “Wild Weekend.”
    http://youtu.be/v__UYPs5kj0

  23. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    The “Original” Raiders now have a third-string QB who’s making a tidy $6.5M this year. That’s great salary cap management right there.
     
    Lucky for me I root for the “New” Raiders. We just picked up a third-string QB who was born and raised in El Paso, Texas. Texas? This team continues to take one giant shit after the next.

  24. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    I’m thinking the Jets, Bergs . . .

  25. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t get it either Dennis, but 3rd string QB decisions rarely keep me up at night, or cause me much anxiety.

  26. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Chuck, I got mad at myself for worrying about the 3rd string QB. I don’t do that either. Then I thought about it for a second. I wouldn’t be shocked if they signed Skelton to be the back up. Still don’t think Harbaugh & Co. have any faith in McCoy.
     
    I have a sick feeling in my stomach that we’re on the verge of a QB controversy — Skelton or McCoy? This after Kap is the latest QB casualty. Add in all the yahoos chirping that Alex is 5-0 and it’s DEFCON 2. I need a drink.

  27. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Correction Alex Smith is 4-0 as the startig QB of the Chiefs.
    That would be the same record of some guy named Peyton.

  28. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Alex Smith and the Chiefs at 4-0.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2o0V6VPX_E0

  29. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    No doubt about it, Alex is the right quarterback for a team with a game-winning defense and a tailback that threatens to score every play.
     
    Alex is 4-0 is the same as Trent Dilfer won a Super Bowl.
     
    Anyone thinking the Chiefs’ record is not the defense’s record is so far in the tank reality doesn’t play a part in their reasoning.

  30. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Alex has *already proved* he can win, in a power running offense with a star RB, with a very good defense. He went 13-3 here. I fully expect to get that second round draft pick.
     
    KC is betting he can grow beyond that, and win through the playoffs as well. I’m not so sure about that one. Time will tell.

  31. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Right. Look at Dildo’s numbers, NoFear. Then look at Smith’s. Even you can see that, for all of Smith’s shittiness early in his career, he still has a much better TD to INT ratio than Dilfer. Balt won despite Dildo.
    .
    Smith is about 85% of KCs offense as of now this year. KC has 1385 yards of offense. A Smith runnning and passing has ~1100 of those yards this season. 17th in the NFL isn’t spectacular, but it ain’t bad. Yeah, they have a good defense. But so did Joe. And Eli. And Elway. You don’t win consistently in the NFL with a shitty defense.
    .
    If Smith wins the Super Bowl 42-0 you’d still find a reason to bitch about Alex, NoFear. Anyone who thinks Smith is a detriment to the Chiefs has no business following football. They are clouded by delusions of lunacy.

  32. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Isn’t this the same defense KC had last year with only 2 wins?

  33. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Berger

    FYI on the fumble ruling from the Big 12 head of officials
    “The ruling made on the goal line play was that the runner was down by rule with the ball. Because of that ruling, instant replay is allowed to review the play, which it did. Had the ruling on the field been forward progress, the play would not be reviewable because the goal line was not involved. The Replay Official looked at all five views available for this play: Line Feed, Goal Line cart, Press Box angle, Sky Cam, and Opposite End Zone camera. He correctly determined there was no indisputable video evidence to confirm that either the ruling on the field was correct, or that the ball was loose prior to the runner being down. By rule when there is not indisputable video evidence to confirm or change the call on the field, the ruling stands.

    On this play, the covering official ruled the runner was down and still had control of the ball. There is no question the runner ends up on the ground, and there is no question that eventually an Iowa State player ends up with the ball. However, after reviewing the video evidence it is impossible to tell with certainty when the runner loses control of the ball and at that point was he down or not.

    The conference would acknowledge in this unique situation if a mistake were made, but we do not have the video evidence to prove that one occurred.”

  34. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Berger, the big change has been Sean Smith at CB, otherwise it’s mostly the same crew. But they’re playing better. Houston had ten sacks last year; this year he has 7.5 in just 4 games. Poe is a year better. They’ve got a bunch of young guys; sometimes that just all comes together at once.

  35. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Grumpy- Maybe the fact they have a QB who doesn’t turn the ball over as much keeping the defense off the field more is a good thing. Where does that show up on QB rating?

  36. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    bullit- If that is the explanation I rest my case. That is one corrupt conference.

  37. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Well the acrimony and vitriol towards Alex Smith continues even though he’s a Chief.
    His critics really need to let things go because their ill will is starting to make them look foolish.
    Last season the Chiefs scored a total of 211 points and their QBs accounted for a total of 8 TD passes for the season.
    In 4 games with Alex Smith at QB he has already thrown for 7 TDs
    and the Chiefs have scored 102 points.
    Alex Smith is on track to throw for 28 TDs which exceeds last year’s total by 20 TDs and the team on it’s current course will score over 400 points which is double their 2012 total.
    To make a statement attributing their success just to their defense someone needs to re-evaluate their understanding of the game because the bias and dislike is blinding them.

  38. winderNo Gravatar says:

    skeebs- once again a nice read. There must be some good things that come out of Texas but at the moment I just can’t think of any. Oh yeah, grapefruit and pretty girls, however at my age grapefruit gives me gas and well pretty girls just don’t look my way. So, my question is; why don’t they just give the state back to Mexico. I have asked that question on a couple of Texas blogs and got some pretty heated replies.

  39. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    winder- We need Texas if for no other reason than how much the Democrats hate that state!

  40. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    bullit- Nice post! (10:33pm)

  41. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Somewhere, 12th man is telling somebody he never hated Alex Smith!

  42. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Maybe the Big-12 should just be named the University of Texas conference. Check this out. The conference has not even commented on this that I know of.
    http://youtu.be/o95XQXr3nQM

  43. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Berger

    Davis was flagged for 15 yards.
    His explanation
    “I don’t have a history of being a dirty player & have never been called one. The tape without knowledge of the circumstances is unfair. The play call was an option to either a run or WR screen. My job is to protect our WR screen & block my defender. I wasn’t aware it was a run. Check the tape & you can see our other WR is also blocking his defender. I did exactly what we are taught to do on a WR screen. All that being said I am happy #26 was not injured.”
    Big 12 is reviewing this so we shall see. We shall see what happens and if your theory holds true he’s free and clear. I’ll keep you posted.

  44. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Berger, I’m sure Time of Possession is a big part of it for KC. Some of that is Smith keeping drives going, some of it is the defense figuring out how to make the plays on third down to get off the field. KC is #2 in the league after 4 games in ToP, which is very impressive, and I doubt you rank that high unless both platoons are doing their job. If the defense keeps holding up its end, and Charles stays healthy, Alex will keep winning. He is not a guy who can win a shootout every week, but he *IS* a guy who won’t make stupid plays and beat himself at this point in his career. The “Anti-Romo.”
     
    We have fallen down to 20 in ToP this year ourselves, an illustration of our struggles this season (we were at 8 last year). Real shocker is the Giants at 31. The wheels have kind of come off Eli and Company this year. Wonder if the “Fire Coughlin” movement is back in full swing yet?

  45. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Another thing to consider, about KC, vis a vis their defense: last year their sack percentage was 5.50%, and they were ranked 25th in the league (out of 32 teams). THIS year, they have a sack percentage of 10.71% – double last year’s rate – and are ranked second in the NFL.
     
    When you are putting QBs on the ground, good things ensue. Justin Houston seems to be having a breakout season at OLB.
     
    When your defense starts to put it all together, AND you have a good running back, AND your QB is not giving the ball away with mistakes, you are going to win more games than you lose. The only question that remains in my mind is success in the playoffs and Super Bowl. But that is the same question I have with Harbaugh and Company.

  46. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    bullit- Are they really talking about firing Mack Browm? He brought a national championship to Texas.

  47. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    The thing about Smith this year, which many said he would fail at, is he’s being asked to throw more. As of now he’s averaging 10 more throws per game (36) than he was here. Sure, they are short passes, but he’s keeping the chains moving. In contrast, the Niners aren’t.

  48. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Mack is as close to being shown the door as he’s ever been.
    People have short memories as their National Championship was 8 years ago.
    What might save him for at least a year is the Athletic Director Deloss Dodds is retiring after 2014. If they are switching coaches it should be the new AD’s choice.
    My take is he made a huge mistake in bringing in and then keeping their DC Manny Diaz. He never taught gap integrity and his defenses would leave gaping holes
    that lead to outrageous rushing yards for opponents. This has been happening for several years and he finally canned Diaz when BYU ran for over 500 yds.
    I think Mack Brown has done a lot for the Horns. He should step down and retire rather than get the Bobby Bowden treatment.

  49. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    So I guess that is final, Alex Smith has nothing to do with the Chiefs being 4-0. A feller can really get learned up ’round here!

  50. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    RE KC Chiefs: Don’t forget giveaway/takeaways. KC was dead last last year and are at the top this year with +9, IIRC.

    Alex hasn’t given up a bunch but don’t kid yourselves, it’s the defense in KC.

  51. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    I kid you not. The name of the horse who just seconds ago won the opener at Keeneland at even money? ALL ALEX.

  52. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Here’s my second I kid you not story for today. I just had the Safeway driver deliver my groceries within the hour. Among my many purchases was some Bud Light beer. But of course. The NFL sponsors Bud Light and puts regional teams on selected cans. Guess which NFL team adorns my blue Bud Light cans? I guess I really am a fan…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXj7I1RzLSE

  53. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    And just in case any of you doubted my first I kid you not story. Shame on you.
    http://www.drf.com/race-results/KEE/USA/2013-10-05/D/1

  54. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Del- The horse “All Alex” had nothing to do with the win. The other horses were not that good and it was all the jockey, J. Leparoux.

  55. winderNo Gravatar says:

    Lol.

  56. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Berger, your last post was Triple Crown worthy. Nice going, you GALLANT FOX (1930).

  57. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Which reminds me when the Niners beat the Aints in the playoff game
    a season back Spitty didn’t give credit to Alex Smith.
    He actually blamed Greg Williams the Aint’s DC for dialing up the wrong defenses instead of any acknowledgement of the comeback.
    Total denial of the truth which is both funny and pathetic.

  58. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Two non-contradictory things can be true: Williams made some defensive tactical errors, and Alex made him pay for them. That is what a good QB is supposed to do!

  59. Unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    That doesn’t mean it wasn’t true, Bullitt. Gregg Williams lost his job over single-covering VD down the stretch.

  60. Unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Didn’t see yers, Grump.. .

  61. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Hey. I think I’ve told this story many a times before, but it’s cleansing to my spirit to repeat it once again…
     
    I was there the day when we beat the Cowboys in the NFC Championship Game to advance to the Super Bowl. I’ll never forget that day. I sat in Sec 57 Row 5 Seat 9 as usual, and was bleeding red and gold. Two weeks later, Mom and I were were in Pontiac, Michigan. My Super Bowl ticket read and still reads as I hold it in my hand at this very second … EAST Lower Level: Section 111 Row 45 Seat 35.
     
    What’s left to say, but? I truly love the 49ers. I can joke until the cows come home, but I bleed red and gold.
    I watched John Brodie play in person at the Stick for Christ sake.
    &nbsp
    Sec 111 Row 45 Seat 35?
    Nah. I was sitting in my true “home” when DC caught that floater from Joe.
     
    Go Niners!

  62. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Guess what, guys? Frank just woke up and I’m going to tell my beautiful applehead Siamese cat a tale or two. Think “The Canterbury Tales.”
     
    “It’s a Wonderful Life.” No denying. Merry Christmas. I love me some Dec. 25 and Chaucer.

  63. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I am watching Washington-Stanford. I am rooting for Stanford because they are #5 and UW is #15. My favorite team is always any Pac-12 team that has a chance to win the national championship. Ergo, Stanford! I will admit I always hope that team is USC but they suck so forget them this year. Obviously I am rooting Oregon #1 and Stanford #2.
     
    UW was penalized on one of the cleanest blocks I have ever seen. It was right at the point of action and needed to be made. The blocker was flagged for unnecessary roughness. If the defender doesn’t get blocked he probably makes the tackle. If that is an illegal block I will have to consider not watching football anymore. I am starting to get really frustrated with the new rules. I hope this play is a point of conversation this week so I can understand what I saw. I don’t know whether to interpret it as either a terrible call, or a terrible rule. Which is it? I hope it was a terrible call.

  64. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Son help me Christ.

  65. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    I think Del Mar passed out before he could finish that sentence.

  66. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The point of explaining who I was rooting for above was because the call went against the team I was rooting for and I still though it was terrible. Soon we’ll have flag football.

  67. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    I got dizzy and disoriented from watching Stanford play in their all black unis last night. Ask Berger. I couldn’t even tell which team had the ball. OK. Maybe the beer had something to do with it. But I’m blaming it on the all black uniforms. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  68. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    And you heard it here first: Alex goes down today, and he goes down hard. Chiefs lose to the Titans.

  69. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Just some friendly FF news: those with Megatron on their team need to make some adjustments. Calvin Johnson is OUT today for the Lions.

  70. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Was Megatron trying to deliver a pizza to Nate Burleson when he got hurt?

  71. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Alex Smith is 2/8 for 26 yds and the Titan DB dropped a certain INT for a Pick 6. Yet he and the Chiefs are leading 7-0 because the Titans muffed a punt for a KC TD.
     
    Alex needs to quit football and go buy lottery tickets for a living.

  72. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    And for those doing the math, 2/8 for 26 yds = 3.25 YPA.
    Checkdown Charlie? Nah.

  73. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Denny

    Nice of you to have lofty goals in life. It seems your life’s mission is to hate Alex Smith and honestly it’s must see entertainment.
    What you should have commented on was the guy who scored the TD for KC was the CB that the Niners let go, Marcus Cooper. That would be significant for the Niners.

  74. winderNo Gravatar says:

    dennis – thanks for the tip on megatron, of course the games start at 7am here and I was late getting to it. So, I guess I am just going to have to enjoy getting stomped today. Hey, how about that Alex?

  75. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    It looks like in hindsight the Niners made a big mistake in cutting Cooper.
    He looks like a playmaker and is the KC #3 corner.
    Very unusual Sunday. You can watch Pro Football nonstop from 10am to Midnight because the Raiduh game got moved to a 8:30pm start and will end close to Monday.

  76. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Titans 1st and goal at the 1 and KC shuts them down. That defense is coming of age.

  77. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    And Alex did not check down that time! From the 1 to the 42. Ballsy call.

  78. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Alex is 13/25, 1 for 7 on 3rd downs AND failed miserably in the red zone twice as they had to settle for two Ryan Succop FGs < 30 yds. Yet the chiefs still lead 13-0 at the half. But it's not the defense. Nah.

  79. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    And here’s a friendly tip to all you Alex lovers from your buddy Dennis: If you would like to be constructive 49er fans, stop heaping all the praise on Alex, and start vilifying Harbaugh and Baalke. They’re the two guys who traded away your Lord and Savior. Call for their heads and dismissal. If you do, you’ll have to get to the back of the line.

  80. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Tom Brady, 14-25, 114 yds in first half, 3 tiny little points.

  81. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    You know with the “Original” Raider game not starting until 8:30 tonight, there’s a good chance football could run from 10 AM til midnight. That’s 14 hrs. of NFL football.
     
    You know how many beers that is? Let’s see. At approx. 2.2 beers/hr. – bathroom breaks + 10 mins for food – 5 mins to feed Frank. Add 3. Carry the 1 and drop the remainder…
    That’s a shitload of beer!

  82. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, Alex. Nice completion to Bernard Pollard. Too bad he plays safety for the Titans.

  83. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    TD Titans! Ryan Fitzpatrick. And for good measure, Patrickfitz Ryan.

  84. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    TD KC! Meanwhile, Brady throws a pick to lose game.

  85. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Marcus Cooper (again) with a pick.

  86. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebers, would like to have Alex back? Do you think he gives the Niners a better chance of winning > Kap? Just asking.

  87. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Seattle eats it!

  88. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Hard to say, Dennis. I think Smith is a better QB right now than Kap. Kap certainly has more skills and a higher ceiling, but we’ll see if he gets there.

  89. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    KC now 5-0.

  90. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    If Niners win tonight, we’re right back in it.

  91. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebers, do yourself a favor and watch this Denver @ Dallas game. The marquee is showing two real quarterbacks for the price of one. Not that Tuesday warmed-over matinee crap showing in Kansas City. Not to mention the floors are all sticky.

  92. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Romo is a perfect example of a guy with superior skills who has never learned how to play QB.

  93. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Alex Smith completed just 51% of his passes today, and was an ungodly 1 for 12 on 3rd down conversions.
     
    Look out folks. Alex is already in NFC Championship Game form.

  94. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebers, you know what’s funny. If the Cowboys beat the Broncos, Alex Smith will be in first place. Admit it. You’re rooting for the Cowboys.

  95. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Did you see that Harry Houdini act by my boy Romo to complete that pass to Witten? I’d like to see Alex even attempt that in his dreams.

  96. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Colts did us a solid today.
     
    Alex as usual made just enough positive plays and did not screw up. No question he gets them to the playoffs. Whether he can ever lift a team to victory consistently and help KC win three in December / January is the only question in my mind.
     
    Apparently we inquired about Freeman but he is likely to go to the Raiders where he can start.

  97. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    14-0 Dallas. How bout dem Cowboys!

  98. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t have a rooting interest in this game. It should be a fun shoot out, though. I don’t expect KC to unseat Denver this year, so all I’m basially rooting for is 8 wins from KC and a 2nd round pick. Of course, I’d get a kick out of KC making the playoffs and hearing all the Smith haters explain to us how they did it in spite of Smith.
     
    BTW, Brady was 1-12 on 3rd downs today, too, but his team lost.

  99. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Peyton Manning fires right back. TD Broncos. Damn. I just might have an orgasm watching this game. Where are my pills?

  100. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Del- Now we know why your floors are sticky!

  101. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Did yo see that back shoulder TD throw by Manning to Decker?
    Shit. I don’t even need my pills.

  102. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Peyton Manning has thrown 21 TDs with 0 INTs and he hasn’t even played 4 1/2 games yet. But we were much better off not signing him, keeping Alex and going forward with Kap.
     
    You guys are a laugh riot.

  103. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Excuse me, 19 TDs. Give ’em a few minutes and Peyton will be at 21 in no time.

  104. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Tony Promo Skeebs.
    The hood ornament on that Big Dallas Caddy.
     
    Only Jerruh pays huge QB Contracts to INSPIRE lofty play.
     
    There absolutely has to be video evidence in Tonys’ possession of some indiscretion on Jerruh’s part or…..
    Mrs Jones and Tony got it going on.
    There are no other plausible explanations that would convince me otherwise.

  105. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Did we sign Peyton Manning yet? And now you know why I think God hates me.

  106. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    There’s 20.

  107. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Manning’s trying to make everyone forget he choked (again) in the playoffs last year.

  108. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    If Dave Winfield was Mr. May, Manning is Mr. Regular Season.

  109. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Denny

    Not talking about Tom Brady today I see.
    Seems like Brady had a shittier day than Alex Smith especially since the Chiefs won and the Pats lost.
    Didn’t you say the other day that Brady was your fave?

  110. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    I think the Broncos D. is allowing Dallas to score just so Peyton Manning has to go out and throw more TDs to keep the lead. That’s might white of ’em.

  111. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Yes, Bullit. Brady is my fave. Even presidents have off days. Or in some cases, complete off terms of service. Just ask Obama.

  112. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    But my man crush on Tom Brady goes much further than just football. His NFL record speaks for itself, but c’mon. The guy is strikingly handsome, married to a supermodel, a great father and an overall great American. Not to mention. Tom Brady is going to be the future president of the United States.
     
    So, yes. I wanna be Tom Brady.

  113. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    And I’m not joking about this future prez shit. If Jesse the Body and Arnold can make governor, Tom Brady is a slam dunk for president.

  114. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, Skeebers. Are you watching? Peyton Manning and Tony Romo have combined to go 40/51 for 636 yds and 7 TDs.
     
    Orgasm? This is bukkake material.

  115. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    If Manning can’t get Decker 13 more yards receiving he is a failure. I need the 4 bonus points!

  116. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Helluva Defensive Battle.

  117. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Tony Romo has thrown for > 500 yds and 5 TDs, and you guys have the unmitigated gall and audacity to speak ill of him.
     
    Alex Smith > Tony Romo? Chuck Barris just “gonged” you. Make Me Laugh.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xj3Q9l9Ivng

  118. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Mike Sando: “This can only end with a Romo pick-six in overtime.”

  119. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    C’mon Del?
    It’s Tony Promo.
    The Best Regular Season QB of all time.
    He’s in line to win the Week 5 SB today.
    Hang in there.
    Only a few minutes left to wage a Defensive stand and cement the victory.

  120. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Dallas fan’s response: “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t thinking it.”

  121. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Oooof.
    Maybe the next Series?

  122. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Speaking of those in need of a good “gonging.” All of my good yahoo FF players today were sitting on my bench. Serves me right for having Trent Baalke as my GM.
     
    Draft another WR in the 1st rd and I’ll punch your wife and kids in the goddamn throat.

  123. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    And there it is.

  124. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Nooooooooooooo!!!!!
    Tony Promooooooooooooooo

  125. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Romo and a late game killer pick are practically a staple of life.

  126. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Oh soooooooo close to the Cowpattie Lombardi

  127. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    “This can only end with a Romo pick-six in overtime.”
     
    Would you settle for an INT with 1:57 remaining in regulation?

  128. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    This is where Denny goes silent.
    Rooting for Denver cuz it helps the Niners.

  129. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    So much for that Tampa 2 D in Big D.

  130. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Heck of move by Jerruh canning Ryan and extending Promo.
    Saavy GMs know their way around a Roster.
    I’m waiting for the first Law Suit for blindness due to radiation exposure from the Video Boards at the Cowpattie Palace too.

  131. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Bullit, I never go silent. And I’d still take Tony Romo > Alex smith to try and lead my team to a Super Bowl. And least Tony tries. I back the guy who stands on feet and goes down swinging > the Cowardly Lion who’s too afraid to take a chance and make a play when it’s necessary.
     
    Tony Romo put up 48 pts. But it’s all his fault the Cowboys allowed 51 to Manning. Right.

  132. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Tony gave it away, as usual, in another big spot Del.
    Any buffoon can chuck and duck.

  133. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    But then again, Tony earns style points because he’s one of Jerruh’s Kids.

  134. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Dallas should have let Denver score right away down there and given Romo a full 2 minutes to tie it and go to overtime.

  135. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    That would have involved Jason Garrett thinking like a HC Skeebs.
    Jerruh didn’t give him the OK apparently.
    He was likely too consumed with all the post INT distractions in the Luxury Box.

  136. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Berger and I have already discussed this and are in accord. But you Niner fans who still think Kap is the better QB now and going forward > Andrew Luck, need to snatch the crown off of Bullit’s head and adorn it yourself. You’re Company Man #1.
     
    Andrew Luck is a better QB than Colin Kaepernick. Always has been, always will be. Case closed.

  137. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Fret not, Jerruh will likely have his game replayed several times during the coming week, for the valiant efforts his Golden Boy QB provided, while standing toe to toe with Peyton, in a Texas sized shoot out at the Big Cowpattie Pile.
    Media exposure at it’s finest.

  138. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Damn Romo. That int cost me 2 points.

  139. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Matthew Stafford – Calvin Johnson = Alex Smith. That’s the new math.

  140. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    How’d we get into the Kaep/Luck comparison?
    Luck is an excellent QB.
    We can only hope Kaep will follow suit in the coming years.
    Kaep>Alex
    Alex>Promo

  141. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Denny

    Looks like the Alex and the Chefs are closer to getting to the Super Bowl than Tony Romo.
    Romo will choke even if they make the playoffs. That’s his history.
    But Denny your devotion to Romo is
    disturbing
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AMMJF5-gMY

  142. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    51-48. C’mon. Whether you hate both QBs and their entire teams or not, that was one fantastic display of offensive football. Niners? We’re just offensive.

  143. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    No 51-48 means both teams have shit defenses.
    How many punts were in the game.
    Welcome to Arena Football!
    They’re going to make a mockery of Montana & Rice’s records.

  144. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I’m all about a good Defense anyday Del.
    Yes, if you like points scored, this was in fact, your Game-O-The-Day.
    There’s nothing about Dallas I like, other than watching them CHOKE.
    In that regard…..
    Great Game!

  145. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Niners win 31-20 tonight

  146. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Man. I did not like Kap’s response to Tony Dungy’s question if he thought the Niners were the best team in the NFC. His non-response said it all. But he’s right, we’re not. I appreciate the honesty.

  147. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Problem with Cowgurls is they gave up on the run.
    Now they’re saying on NBC pregame Romo should have checked down on the pick he threw

  148. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    “No 51-48 means both teams have shit defenses.”
     
    Peyton Manning has put up 49,41,37,52 and 51 pts. respectively thru the first five weeks. I guess all those teams have shit defenses. Yep. When they play Peyton they do.
     
    Bullit, give credit when credit is due. Peyton Manning is putting up video game stats. He doesn’t even score this much on Madden 2014.

  149. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Romo. Fantasy stud.
    .
    Reality turd.
    .
    500+ and a loss is better than 250 and a win Dennis? Face it, your boy is a choker. Just like Manning in the playffs.

  150. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Hey! WTF is Rob with his, “It’s Game Day!!!!!!!!!!!?”
    I hope he wasn’t out wading in the water fishing with those shrimps in his pockets. I told ’em the sharks would be coming by at any moment now…~~^~~~^~~^~~~^ Da-Dum…Da-Dum…Da-Dum Da-Dum Da-Dum

  151. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    I like it, both coaches singing the national anthem.
    Go Niners!

  152. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Staub keeps his pick 6 streak alive in a hurry!

  153. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Pick 6! There you go…

  154. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Kawakami scores:
     
    “Josh Freeman might fly in at halftime and start the third quarter for Houston.”

  155. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Now the record is his alone.
    Schaub was sharing therecord with Peyton and Elway until today.

  156. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Kap already has as many 3rd down conversions as Alex completed today.

  157. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Kap has now tripled Alex’s 3rd down conversions for today.
    TD Frank!

  158. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Really loving the intensity on defense. Quick. First step off the snap.

  159. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    When did Tremaine Brock become our best CB?

  160. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    When Nnamdi went down. He read that pass to Johnson perfectly.

  161. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    The Denver-Cowgurl game was a joke because there was just one punt in the game. That means each defense let the offense have their way and couldn’t or wouldn’t stop them.
    The game was more like a offensive scrimmage against the JV defense.

  162. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Now in this game there is some defense being played.
    Go Niners!

  163. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Very bad news: Ray McDonald out with a biceps injury. If it’s torn, he’s out for the year.

  164. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Kap is now 4-13 for 45 yds and hasn’t completed a pass since the 1st quarter.

  165. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Bullit, the Broncos lost their starting center in preseason, then they just lost their starting two-time All-Pro LT, Ryan Clady for the year. Their two best defensive players, Champ Bailey and Von Miller have yet to see the field. Add to those facts that Peyton Manning is putting up 46 pts/gm while throwing 20 TDs with nary an interception, yet you still find it in your heart to rag upon them. I’ll give ya credit for trying, King Joffrey.

  166. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    More like I’ll give ya credit for crying, you bastard child.

  167. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    OK, Skeebers. I know you’d rather have Alex over Kap right now. But please don’t insult my intelligence and tell me you’d rather have Alex > Manning. You would spiral me into an alcoholic binge like never seen before.
     
    What did you just say about Kap not completing a pass since the first quarter? Best check yourself for chlamydia. I just saw VD spread into the end zone via Kap. Call the EPA.

  168. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Do you think the Texans would actually turn to T.J. Yates? Might as well be T.J. Hooker. Speaking of which. Bring back 1984’s Heather Locklear. Goddamn.

  169. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    And since we’re on the subject of TV shows, well, at least I am. This season’s new Fall edition is uninspiring to say the least. The pickings are few and far between. Sitcoms? Fugetaboutit. One show I do like is “The Blacklist.” Never been a huge James Spader fan, but he does a nice job as the ex-FBI agent gone awry who’s now a criminal trying to help out.
     
    Maybe Spader isn’t that good after all. He has a great supporting cast. He’s given a simple script to read. He’s very well directed, and he’s in an easy time slot beating up on a bunch of other cupcakes. The more I think about it, James Spader is TV’s version of Alex Smith. He’ll be cancelled after 16 episodes during Sweeps Week.

  170. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Josh Freeman finds work in Minny.
    Could it be over for Ponder?
    Something to ponder……

  171. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Denny

    Didn’t know you were the PR guy for Elway.
    You seem to like to multitask knowing everything about Brady and the Pats.
    If I didn’t know better I might say you were a frontrunner.
    I really don’t give a rat’s heinie
    to know what’s going on in Denver.
    Just looking forward to implosion.
    Peaking too soon seems to be a trait of NFL teams as it’s not a sprint.
    Ask Calvin Johnson when it looked like he would score 35 TDs in 2011. He finished with 16.
    When Peyton flattens out I’ll wait for your excuses Littlefinger.

  172. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Littlefinger? Baelish is a no good sneaky SOB with only nefarious intentions who would stab you in the back and wouldn’t think twice.
     
    I like that guy.

  173. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Kap finished 6/15 for 113 yds. If Spit were here, he’d dole out his line about how Harbaugh is the only guy able to keep Kap < 200 yds. He'd be right.
     
    But Spit's not here. He was driven out. I think I know why. Spit lost to Rob last week in FF. Losing to Rob in FF would drive anyone out. Shit. Losing to Rob in FF would drive the Devil out of Linda Blair.

  174. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Bullit, I don’t expect Manning to keep up this torrential TD pace. What? Manning has thrown 20 TDs thru his first five games. Alex Smith never threw 20 TDs for an entire season. Think about that. 20 TDs in just five games vs a guy who’s never throw 20, actually 19, his high total for a year is 18.
     
    There’s comparing apples to oranges, and then there’s comparing gold bullion to horseshit. Littlefinger? Ha! Peyton Manning is…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fy_PJODH3p0

  175. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    And with all the FF stats and lopsided victories to date, we’re reminded that it’s not how you start, rather, how you finish a Season that matters.
     
    For me, staying in the mix until December is where it matters.

  176. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    At his current pace, Peytons’ arm could fall off by Thanksgiving.
    I’m anxious to see the Alex vs Peyton matchup now.

  177. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    All things considered, Alex has pretty delivered on the optimal Trade return for us too.
    Can’t gripe about 2 2nd Rd Picks for our departed signal caller.
     
    Nice move Mr Baalke.

  178. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle: L 13-24
Dec. 3: at Chicago: W 15-14
Dec. 10: at Houston: W 26-16
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee: W 25-23
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville: W 44-33
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams: W 34-13
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
NJ49er: 6-10
Skeebers: 6-10
Bullit: 5-11
Mr Fletch: 5-11
RTFirefly: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
Winder: 4-12

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