Recently, we’ve seen the Top 20 coaches of all time, the Top 100 players list, and the franchise Mt. Rushmore series dragged out over many weeks by Pro Football Talk. Here at the Outsider, we have two dogs circling a tree all week, squirting their wee-wee at each other. The poor tree is long since dead, but it doesn’t seem to matter.
For some reason, I’m reminded of the ants vs scorpion opening scenes of The Wild Bunch. Morbid fascination.
In a Top 10 Westerns of all time, The Wild Bunch would definitely be a contender. Along with The Magnificent Seven, Hombre, the original Monte Walsh, Open Range, and Dances With Wolves. Clint Eastwood almost has to have one of his movies on the list, but the only one two I can think of off the top that had interesting bad guys were Joe Kidd and Unforgiven. If you don’t have a great bad guy, you don’t have a great movie. Once Upon a Time in the West is a Sergio Leone classic, but Leone drags out too many scenes for my taste. I’m sure astute readers will remind me of some classics that don’t immediately come to mind right now. And Shane isn’t one of them. That’s not a western, it’s a soap opera with a wooden lead character.
The best western villains of all time is basically a two man contest between Richard Boone and Jack Palance. I’m going with Boone. Palance also played some good guys in his career, but Boone looked like a thug even when wearing the white hat in the beginning with his starring role in Have Gun, Will Travel.
Teddy Roosevelt doesn’t really belong up there on the cliffs with Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln. For sheer historical importance, it’s the other Roosevelt that ought to be depicted. But he hadn’t yet come along when Ku Klux Klan member Gutzon Borglum first put his chisel to the granite in 1927.
As for the 49ers Mt. Rushmore, there’s just too many guys to whittle it down to just four. We’ll see what PFT does with it. You know Bill Walsh and Joe Montana will be up there, but then it gets murky. Some franchises were so laughably insignificant that it came close to having a waterboy fill in the fourth guy.
One 49er guy who won’t make it is Frank Gore, but if he has another 1,200 yard season, like he had in 2012, he’ll reach the 10,000 yards rushing milestone for his career. Not bad for a short guy who came out of college with two reconstructed knees. A truly great 49er. And a great guy, too.