Jan 28, 2013 Vacant Observations
For a whole new generation of 49er fans, this will be their first experience of the team in the Super Bowl. They can’t jump for joy like we oldsters could because their pants would fall off, but I’m sure they have their own way of celebrating.
Seattle HC Pete Carroll probably won’t be rooting for our team to win this thing. He finally beat Jim Harbaugh this year — in his fourth try — but if Harbaugh comes home with the trophy, it would set the bar pretty high for Pete to achieve parity with his nemesis.
If it weren’t for Kyle Williams, this would be the 49ers’ second straight trip to the final game of the season. That doesn’t happen much in the salary cap era. But it does mark this team as a league powerhouse, much to the dismay of the effete corps of East Coast impudent, nattering, nabobs of negativism.
It took John Harbaugh three cracks at the AFC Championship game to finally win and advance to the Super Bowl. It took Jim two stabs as a head coach and one as a player. Three each. One of them is going to break this tie next Sunday and family relations may never be the same.
While the 49ers spend the coming week preparing to win the SB, I’ll be preparing myself for them to lose the game. It doesn’t take any preparation for a fan to celebrate a victory, but a loss — one that would cast a shadow upon the earth for days, weeks, months, maybe even years? This needs careful planning. Ergo, I’ve ordered a six month supply of horse tranquilizer — just in case.
Since the turn of the century, only the Giants have lost a SB and then come back to win one. But it took them seven years to do it. The Patriots lost one, returned four years later, and lost again. The more common fate of SB losers is a franchise free fall to splatzville. Titans, Raiders, Panthers, Eagles, Seahawks, Bears, Cardinals — straight to the bottom, sometimes slowly, sometimes precipitously.
By this time next week, no matter what happens in the game, the 2012 football season will be kaput. No more football till next August. So this is it. The final week of the season. May as well enjoy it. There’s thirty other teams and fan bases that would kill to be in New Orleans this week. It’s easy to enjoy that.
In the Tom Clancy book Sum of All Fears, it was Denver that got nuked by the terrorists. In the movie, however, it was Baltimore. Good choice, Hollywood. I mean, who cares if Baltimore is there or not? Sandwiched between Washington, D.C., Philadelphia, and New York, it’s a permanently second rate burg. Nobody plans a vacation by saying, “Let’s go to Baltimore!”
Baltimore is so low class their team was stolen from Cleveland! This is like a crook robbing a flea market. The previous owner wanted out so bad he snuck off to Indianapolis! The face of their franchise is a common, ordinary street thug who can’t dance a lick, but starts every game by doing just that. Baltimore fans absolutely love this showboating bum. I rest my case. Baltimore must go.
And the 49ers must send them packing. The nation turns its lonely eyes to the red and gold. Save Us From Baltimore! Please!