Blog Archives

Unclean Hands

Easter has come and gone and all across the country, Christians are resuming their sinful ways. Heathens are presumably just facing yet another week on the road to hell, no different than any other wicked and empty set of days.

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Humbug Gazette

It’s 2013, as you non-hibernating bipeds may have noticed, which means the Mayan’s tenuous grasp of life on earth has been relegated to the basement wing of The Knowledge Building. Down there with the earth is flat fellows. As usual

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Heaven Can Wait

Old adages die hard. Over the weekend, the two most potent offenses in the NFC were sent packing by the two best defensive teams. In the AFC, the best defense is left to face the best offense, which only got

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Less Is More

Thanks to the number one rated defense, a mistake free offense, good special teams, and punter Andy Lee, the 49ers have won the field position battle in almost every game this year. Usually by a whopping margin. This helps the

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Miked Up

Next Sunday the 49ers have a game against the Washington Inappropriately Nameds, who practice in Virginia and play in Maryland and never set foot in Washington. A true D.C. tradition. The Washingtons are coached by The Ultimate Leader, Mike “Bug

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Balloons and Beasts

Last call for the Cloud Nine Balloon Ride! Next week’s availability is TBD. It’s Friday and the 49ers are still great. They’re wonderful. We’re happy. They’re happy. It’s a wonderful world. Later today, the team will get on a plane

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Season Preamble Ramble

Here we go, guys. Next Sunday, eight months of bloglosophy and theoretical football give way to the reality show called The 2011 NFL Season. Gulp. Be still my little pea pickin’ triple by-pass thumper. It’s agony or ecstasy time. Jeez,

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Some Spicy Meatballs

Jim Harbaugh told the fans attending the Pasta Bowl fundraiser Tuesday night that his team will be pushing a tempo that will “eventually overwhelm our opponents.” This comment is similar in purpose to Mike Singletary’s “impose our will” battle cry,

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It’s a Mad, Mad Whirl

The 2011 NFL season finally lost all its asterisks Thursday and the new league year is now officially underway. Miilionaires and billionaires can now mingle together in peace and harmony, as the evil lawyers have been banished from the kingdom

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2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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