My brother-in-law did a very nice thing last week. He is an avid 49er fan, but not an internet fan, so he never reads my blog. He knows about it, though, and knows about me and has been concerned as to whether I was properly upholding the Sicilian heritage my marriage linked me to [I have not yet been beaten and buried alive in a cornfield, so I guess I’m doing okayish]. Anyway, he figured I needed some help [astute fellow]. After hitting it big at an off track betting joint, he roared out and bought me a wide screen HD TV.
I was quite pleased, and got to watch this weekend’s playoff games in a much more vivid and revealing fashion than my previous ability on my 1992 13″ flea market special. Kudos to him. I could actually see most of the players on any given play, instead of just the linemen breathing frost gusts in the trenches.
And what better way to break in the modern age than seeing Tom Brady imitate Alex Smith and Michael Jackson. Getting sacked 5 times is a day at the office for a 49er QB, but not for a QB used to playing behind that superb New England O-line. Three straight
times in the playoffs, however, that has been Brady’s fate, and each time he has spent a whole game throwing early, wild, and panicky. Offense may rule the regular season (48-3), but defense wins championships (21-28). All four remaining playoff teams play seriously good D.
The 49ers, of course, have only mastered ruling the pre-season. Next up, a wide screen HD Offense that can perhaps get us over the hump and into the post season extravaganza. Jim Harbaugh filled out his staff last Friday and we blogatators now await some clue as to who our QB will be next season and what players will have more or less value under the new regime.
It could be a long wait, however. One might expect a lot of happy talk whilst this time passes, but the blog world despises happy talk. We all get enough of that ooze dealing with the world around us on a daily basis. No, this arena is the WWE of verbal society.
Speaking of Alex Smith, I’m seeing 8 possible destinations for him: Seattle, Arizona, Minnesota, Tennessee, Jacksonville, Oakland, Washington, and Carolina. Some of you may wish to never hear about his career again, or that he even exists, but I have a morbid curiosity about tracking his whereabouts over the next few years. If things get too placid in the future days of the blog world, I may provide some occasional updates. If, that is, he ever gets on the field again.
When times are a bit dull in the Bay Area, though, we can always count on Al Davis to produce some bizarre news. Here’s a guy who has squandered millions on the likes of Javon Walker and Darius Heywood Bey, but routinely squeezes every last nickle out of his meagerly paid coaching staff. Tom Cable is the latest to get the Shanahan/Kiffin treatment. Old Al even stole a page from the garnishment industry and extracted $20,000 from each of Cable’s paychecks last season, for an unspecified abuse of his contract with the Raiders.
I suppose Al subconsciously realizes that his NFL acumen disappeared a long time ago, but his success in the courtroom did not. Just kidding. Al has lost the ability to realize much of anything, maybe even his own face in the mirror. At any rate, he has good lawyers, if not good coaches. And he probably gives his lawyers less interference than he gives said coaches. Why not pick up a few bucks and a new head to mount on his wall by stiffing another coach who was foolish enough, or desperate enough, to work for him.
Not sure what to expect from the Niners today, or this week. It might be nice to hear from Vic Fangio, the new DC, and Greg Roman, the new OC. If for no other reason than to see what kind of yap we will be getting out of them in the coming seasons. I’m dissuaded from hoping they are entertaining fellows, since Jimmy Raye was considered a wit, and look where that got us.