Wake Me When The Game Begins

The game cannot come soon enough. 100 mouths, 2,000 microphones, and still 5,000 game analyses to go before the kickoff.

I put my head in the sand yesterday, but it didn’t work. There were two ostriches down there talking about which player would lay the biggest egg in the game.

So far, only Randy Moss and Chris Culliver have roared forth in idiot speak for the 49ers, while over on the Baltimore side, all dumb remarks are funneled through Ray “Totally Clueless” Lewis, who announced how pleased he was to grandstand his way through the playoffs and give everyone a chance to thank him for his greatness. Lewis is such a creepy guy you wouldn’t hardly even feel a twinge of guilt if you smiled at the news next year that he had brain damage and was in the early stages of drooling.

If I made these remarks in front of a mike in New Orleans, they would immediately become bigger than life and I would have to issue a statement divorcing me from myself because my good me in my heart was sabotaged by the bad me in my brain which threw a bunch of garbage out my mouth while the good me wasn’t exercising due diligence. It’s obligatory nonsense in order to “move on.”

Maybe I haven’t paid enough attention to the previous years’ preludes to the Super Bowl, but it seems this year a lot of old skeletons are rising from the graves of SBs past. Marshall Faulk brings up Spygate and its coverup. Tim Brown claims ex-Raiders HC Bill Callahan sabotaged the 2002 SB. And the double homicide that occurred in the vicinity of the 2000 SB which involved Lewis.

Sunday’s game could be the last we will see of 12 49er fellows who will be free agents come Monday morning. The potential sayonaratics are Dashon Goldson, Delanie Walker, Randy Moss, Ricky Jean-Francois, Darcel McBath, Ted Ginn, Tavares Gooden, Larry Grant, Tramaine Brock, Clark Haggans, Leonard Davis, and Isaac Sopoaga.

Half of these guys are of the interchangeable parts variety, but the other half have played significant roles in the team’s success this year. Of these, Ginn seems most replaceable. Followed by Walker and Moss. The three that need to be re-signed are Goldson, RJF, and Sopoaga — all core members of the defense.

Technically, Alex Smith is not about to be a free agent, but he won’t be here next year either. Where he goes and what we get in exchange for him will be a hot topic for the post-SB blogosphere. One last go round for the guy who has made the blogs roar along for the past four years almost single-handedly. A super star lightning rod.

We’re getting close to the time period where it’s dangerous to go out and about. The Super Bowl hype has penetrated the consciousness of the non-football viewing populace and they are liable to accost you in the supermarket and ask you who you think will win between the 69ers and the Crows. They might even say this Lewis fellow is charming. No sense spending the weekend in lockup for assault and miss the game. Hide, fellow blogomaniacs, hide!

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Posted in Vacant Observations
90 comments on “Wake Me When The Game Begins
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    It’s Thursday and a thought came to mind regarding the game on Sunday as it pertains to the 49ers and the Ravens. It is a flash back to a Miller Light commercial. “We only need one more pin, Rodney!”

  2. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    This is the most mustest MUST win game of all.

  3. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I just read this tweet on twitter:
    Hey asshole, my boobs are down here. Stop staring at my eyes, fuking weirdo.

  4. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Chris Culliver’s table today http://twitpic.com/bzs6pr

  5. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Vic Fangio’s table today http://twitpic.com/bzs6hy

  6. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Seems reporters are more interested in gay issues than football. Ask the reporters in the gallery, how many of them are gay, and probably nobody will speak up. Then they’ll report about the lack of gays in sports, all the while patting each other on their backs for so called good reporting.

  7. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Ratto made sure he got a seat at the table to torture the kid. Probably been parked there all night.

  8. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Ratto is hitting this story so hard it makes me think he is gay?

  9. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Ratto thought it was the breakfast buffet.

  10. barleyfreakNo Gravatar says:

    “Maybe I haven’t paid enough attention to the previous years’ preludes to the Super Bowl, …”
    Bingo! And why would you? It’s been 18 years since we cared enough to. In that time, the media frenzy has been amped up by a factor of 10. Or as Nigel Tufnel would say, by 11.

  11. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    It’s a given with that mustache, Berger.

  12. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    I can’t believe it’s only just Thursday. This is taking forever. Let’s do this already. Still > 76 hrs. until kickoff. Tick tock.

  13. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Not rotating our D-line much this season is taking a toll. Half of our defense is on the injury list. Most have shoulder injuries.

  14. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Curious because we did a lot more rotation last year.

  15. robNo Gravatar says:

    imo SKEEBER’s pictures pretty much sum up the reason we haven’t paid much attention to the superbowl hype the past several season !

  16. robNo Gravatar says:

    jesse williams would be a big help if we’re looking to complete or DL rotation imho


  17. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    CK is cashing in on his popularity
    Now this is supposedly 50% off.
    Celebrate the Niners and get your man-cave ready for the championship game with this deal from XXXXXXXX

    • $299 ($599 value) for a Colin Kaepernick signed Niners logo football
    • $299 ($600 value) for a Joe Montana and Emmitt Smith autographed 16×20 photo
    • $299 ($600 value) for a Joe Montana autographed helmet
    • $499 ($999 value) for a Colin Kaepernick signed Niners helmet with special inscription
    • $599 ($1,499 value) for an autographed 20×24 photo of 11 Niners Hall of Fame players including Montana, Rice, Young, Lott, and more
    • $499 ($1,299 value) for an autographed 16×20 Super Bowl MVP photo signed by legends Joe Montana, Steve Young, and Jerry Rice
    • All of the photos are officially licensed NFL photos
    • Shipping is included

    Hard to believe a CK autograph is worth more than Joe Montana.
    I have an Joe Montana autographed football and helmet from Upper Deck. Prices are way inflated now.

  18. robNo Gravatar says:

    BULLIT !

    right now the montana signed helmet for 299 sounds like the best deal ! imo if that’s worth the same as a kap signed ball something smells pretty fishy !

  19. robNo Gravatar says:

    OK californians , so you have the great SAN FRANCISCO 49ers out there , but can you top my favorite local sports tv/radio reporter ?
    i think not !

  20. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Shit, i ‘won’ a signed Montana jersey in 1998. It was $300.00. Fricking $300.00 to frame it.
    Looks good though. Alex Smith? Back to soaking up oil in the garage.

  21. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    The Kirk and Dinger show?
    Highbrow shit, no doubt.

  22. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Kirk and Dinger? I think they were the fluffers for Brock Landers and Chest Rockwell in “Boogie Nights.”
    Get Well Ron Jeremy. He really could use a “heart on.”

  23. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    The hedgehog lives!

  24. bullitNo Gravatar says:


    They are trying to capitalize on CK’s popularity right now.
    If he sustains his level of play he will sign thousands of footballs and helmets and the price will come down.
    I have a JJ Stokes signed mini helmet basically cost me $40.
    ($20 for the helmet $20 for the autograph) at a card show.
    The mini helmet is worth more now without the autograph. Can’t win them all.

  25. barleyfreakNo Gravatar says:

    Statistical anomaly or trend? For an NFC team, playing against the AFC East during the regular season will get you into the SB. It has happened 7 years in a row. in 2006 the Bears, 2007 the Giants, 2008 the Cardinals, 2009 the Saints, 2010 the Packers, 2011 the Giants again, and 2012 the Niners. Obvious takeaway is the AFC Least division sucks, gives you some easy wins, etc.

  26. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    That’s crazy, barley. They do have NE, but not much else. You’d think the teams playing the AFC west would have some traction.

  27. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    50 hours until kickoff
    The wait is brutal

  28. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    48 hrs. from now we’ll be in the 3rd quarter, and I’ll be three sheets to the wind. Did I say three? I meant Heeeeeeeeee!
    Go Niners!

  29. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    The countdown continues.
    CK on Sports Science

  30. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    After watching Sports Science I feel more confidence in my ability to walk and chew gum at the same time! For example, somebody ask me a question while I am stepping of of a curb, no problem!

  31. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    I can open a Bud Light can then proceed to drink it.
    That’s Dennis Science at its finest.

  32. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Bud Light? I thought you were an alkie? You can’t get drunk on that watered down nonsense.

  33. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    But light, except Utah, is 4.2%. Istead of drinking a 12 pack, you just drink a case! I’ve got a 12 pack of Icky IPA at 6.4%, and 3 Smirnoff Ice barley drinks at 5%. For tomorrow I have 12 Sierra Nevada Torpedos at 7.2%. Dennis will need to drink 2 cases of Bud light to keep up. I’m thinking he will keep up!

  34. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs, a case of Bud Light X 8 Vicodin in one day = I feel good. I defy anyone to take the challenge and still be aching at the end of the day. How do I feel?

  35. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    OK. The HOF announcement is coming up. Does Eddie D. get in? Haley? A lot of good choices this year.

  36. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Eddie D. gets the shaft once again. If and when he does get in, Ed needs to pull a Brando and send up a Sacheen Littlefeather to give his induction speech. F the HOF.

  37. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Bill Parcells can take his 2 SB wins and see how it plays vs Eddie’s 5. What a joke. Until Eddie gets in the HOF is a joke.

  38. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Owners get in once every 15 years. If that.

  39. robNo Gravatar says:

    eddie for the hall !

  40. robNo Gravatar says:

    USA today’s weekend edition has a 49ers superbowl all time team ! jesse supolu made it , but not randy cross ! fred dean wasn’t on the list !

    two huge mistakes there !

  41. robNo Gravatar says:

    i’m feeling pretty good about our chances in the big game !

    i like to compare our recent teams to our superbowl XVI team to see how we stack up ! it’s a good way to see what we have !

    after my position by position comparison , this team is pretty close imho !

  42. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Who is representing us at the HOF? Get rid of that idiot. If you can’t make a case for Eddie that sells you can’t be competent.

  43. robNo Gravatar says:

    i hate to be the one to bring it up , but …

    with the teams so evenly matched feild goals/kickers are going to be huge in this game !

    omg guys one of the biggest keys to this game is going to be how akers does on his feild goal attempts !

  44. robNo Gravatar says:

    somebody recently said art modell was hall of fame worthy ! imagine modell getting in before eddie ! what kind of shit would that be !

  45. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Rob- I would start Modelling in the morning instead of Lasordaing! Let us match Super Bowl victories between Modell and DeBartolo! The HOF is a joke until Eddie is in. Rules were changed becauase of his ownership. And what other owner has 5 Super Bowls. Nobody was more 1st class than Eddie. Oh wait, I think I hear them saying Jonathon Ogden had more impact on the NFL than Eddie Debartolo? Idiots.

  46. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Watch them save Strahan until next year so he can grandstand on his home turf at the Meadowlands.
    Haley absolutely deserves to be voted in, as does Eddie.
    Eddie carries the stigma of being a Salary Cap cheat and by being banned for a felony.
    However, it’s about contributions to the game, which he put before anything else.
    Not his fault that spending lavishly on the ‘Team’ wasn’t recognized as doing the right thing.

  47. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    NJ- You are hurting worse than me. That is a difficult situation. An SB win cures a lot!

  48. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Until Eddie is in the HOF, the HOF is a joke.

  49. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Well, Haley certainly is more deserving than Sapp. Carter? Ehhhh. Ogden? Who? Must be an AFC guy. Allen? Sure. Curly Culp I’m cool with

  50. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I will make every effort to attend the HOF induction ceremonies when Haley and Eddie get in.
    Haley should go in ahead of Eddie but, Haley apparently wants Eddie as his presentor.
    So we’ll see what comes in the near future.

  51. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Show Time!

  52. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Time to separate the men from the boys and the bull from the shit.

  53. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, Rob. What’s today? Anything good on TV? I see at 3:30 PBS has the McLaughlin Group. Think I might give that a whirl.

  54. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Not sure what to think about you, Dennis, now that you’ve admitted using PEDs to enhance your alcohol depravity stats.

  55. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Game Day is here!
    Pregame shows started at 6am.
    Nothing like 10 hours of pregame
    minutiae to block the juices from flowing and numb you to the event.

  56. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Could this be Flying V’s last day
    on the Niner Blogosphere?
    He stated a couple of years ago that the York family would never raise a Lombardi Trophy and if they did he would end it for himself.
    Sayonara Flying V???

  57. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs, last time I checked PEDs, Pills that Enhance Dennis, are not a banned substance. I’m just doing what little I can to keep America’s pharmaceutical industry strong.

  58. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    When are Skip Bayliss and Stephen A Smith going to get married already?

  59. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Had Maryland Crab Cakes, sent from Maryland, for breakfast! I hope they don’t make me Flaccolate.
    I’ve got Cajun on the menu for later! Shrimp Fettuccine Alfredo!
    For the GB game I fixed brats with mac and cheese. For the Atlanta game I fixed chicken with peaches.

  60. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    OK. It’s now officially Show Time. I’ve popped the first Vicodin and opened the first Bud can. No Bud Light today. I’m drinking regular Bud. This is serious business today. I need the heavy stuff.

  61. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Game time is slowly creeping up.
    At least nobody on the Niners did anything stupid last night that we know of or has been reported.
    Go Niners! Let’s get this done!

  62. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Only 3 1/2 hrs. now until kickoff. The tension is mounting. So are my empty Bud cans.

  63. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Gonna be a lot of fans ending this day on their knees in the bathroom driving the porcelain bus.

  64. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I just poured my 1st beer! Sierra Nevada Torpedo.

  65. 12th manNo Gravatar says:

    Are we there yet?

  66. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs, I’m the Ralph Kramden of the porcelain bus. I drive that thing right into Ed Norton’s sewer.

  67. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    I was just comment 69. My zodiac sign is Cancer, that’s what our symbol looks like. I told Berger earlier that I woke up this morning at 4:09. I was born at 4:09 in the morning. No way in hell we lose now. “So let it be written. So let it be done.”

  68. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Just finished my afternoon nap, so I’m good to go. I’ll probably slip another one in at half time in case the game goes OT and I need some extra staying power.

  69. LBNo Gravatar says:

    Too early to call for Smith?

  70. LBNo Gravatar says:

    Looks like the NFL pulled the plug to give more time for revenue-generating ads.

  71. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    They called the PI on us for a Baltimore critical 3rd down, they would’t call the obvious holding call on Baltimore on our last play. That was the difference.

  72. robNo Gravatar says:

    we just got into a little too big of a hole there ! we also had a few more miscues than baltimore .
    we’ll be back next year with a vengeance imho !

  73. robNo Gravatar says:

    we’re young , we’re among the elite of the elite , and we have a boatload of draftpicks !

  74. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Missed it by *that* much.

  75. robNo Gravatar says:

    BERGER is right ! i know why ! they didn’t need the refs on that call , that was a mugging , they needed the fukkin police on that one !

  76. robNo Gravatar says:

    it was a hell of a comeback ! we just fell a little short !

  77. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Greg Roman is the one that choked. If we didn’t get down so much he would not have ever spread the offense to get 31 points in the first place. Trying to run up the middle with Ngata in there is not smart. The running game started to gel when Ngata got hurt. When we got into the Red Zone Roman’s play calling took Kaep’s options out of his hand. He thought his play calling was better than Kaep’s ability.

  78. robNo Gravatar says:

    well ALL

    don’t give up the ship
    they haven’t seen the last of us yet !

  79. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    When we got inside the 10 at the end of the game, Raman’s play calling reminded me of the bad play calling Lane Kiffen calls at USC.

  80. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    The third down call was awful too – student body right, with only one viable receiver to catch the ball. Against one of the best defenses in the NFL. What could go wrong?

  81. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    I’ll always wonder if the delay of game penalty that JH avoided with the timeout might actually have helped us, by giving us the room to run some different plays, maybe have Kaepernick try to run it in on the edge. We’ll never know.

  82. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The problem with that time out we had to call at the end was the coaching staff not getting the play in to the QB in a timely fashion. They need to make basic calls at that point of the game instead of trying to be too smart. Roman out smarted himself.

  83. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    They probably called two plays in the huddle and you guys know I hate that. At that point in the game, call one play and give the QB time to audible. Trust your QB or get a different QB. Obviously I think think Roman choked.

  84. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Brooks jumping off side, which gave the Ravens 4 extra points, in the 1st half ended up being the difference in the game.

  85. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    You can point to so many plays and calls, the fact is we lost. Through all of that, we still had opportunities and still lost. My main culprit is Greg Roman. But we lost as a team.

  86. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    The 2 minute offense to close the 1st half AND the 2nd half was awful.

  87. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

2021 Schedules
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10L
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05: L Seahawks 30, 49ers 23 12/12 · 10:00 AMCIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17