The second edition of Camp Alex begins today, featuring Coach Alex instructing Himself Alex and the Supporting Cast Alex as to the fundamentals of Jim “I ♥ Alex” Harbaugh’s playbook. Alextrifying moments ahead this week, 49er fans.
There have been rumors circulating that this will be the week Alex drops his “ex” and goes with just plain “Al”. Al Smith. It’s cozier and more emphatic. Alex is just too front row pupilish. Guys named Al sit in the back row and throw spit wads.
It could have been worse, of course. Smith could have been named Alvin. Now there is a career killer name, for sure. Actually, that’s a life killer name.
Since this week is basically just a smattering of guys practicing football, the only items of interest will be who joins the smattering and who doesn’t. And whether the beat guys get to watch the practices or not. IOW, not much meat on this bone.
However, at the end of the week there is a real likelihood that the owners and players will announce an agreement in principal on a new CBA. It should take about two weeks or so for the best accident lawyers to inflate this principal into a gargantuan unintelligible legal gibberishosity which can be signed, with everyone shrugging and going “whatever.” Then, ladies and gentlemen, the flood gates will open. Biiiiiiiigggg time.
In one breathtaking week or two, we will find out the fates of Manny Lawson, Dashon Goldson, Ray McDonald, David Baas, and maybe even Nate Clements, as well as the other 800 or so free agents in the league. We’ll get the first solid answers to all our offseason concerns, such as who plays the Nose and which CB and QB are we going to sign as FAs? The defense will go from vague to settled. The backup QB the fans will scream for after every Al incomplete pass will be known.
And, naturally, the coaches will finally get to be called smart or stupid. All offseason, people have tiptoed around complaining about Just Al, without directly calling Harbaugh an idiot for recruiting him. A ticklish dance. It is similar to the dance that Mike Singletary supporters performed while criticizing Jimmy Raye. We know how that dance turned out. Exit stage right for the both of them.
Bill Parcells recently said that if the 49ers get their offense going, they could be sleepers this year. Fortunately, nobody paid much attention. Being a sleeper team is almost as bad a jinx as being the favorite. The Niners have laid eggs in both baskets in recent years. Some cynics might mutter the team has squatted in every nest in the hen house the past eight years, so what’s the difference what they’re called, except an egg laying nightmare.
In the mean time, even in the best case scenario, we’ve got three more weeks of dead air. That’s a lot of music links and coconut stories.