The Smith Haters Club

Yesterday’s post considered the impact drafting Alex Smith has had on the franchise. It has also had a monstrous impact on the 49er blogging community. In fact, in the five years since Smith was drafted, a large and vociferous club of really mean, nasty, ill-mannered, contemptuous, poorly dressed, toe jam eating, fang-toothed, forked tongue, completely irrational bloggers has emerged whose constant heartfelt outpouring involves the utter trashing of Sir Alex the Smith.

Ahem. These incessant scumbags nice fellows have made their views known so assertively and confidently and continuously that I’m sure they won’t mind being recognized for their diseased omni-prescience in the matter of QB analysis and judgment.

To wit, the Prominent Haters Loathers:

Ninermd (Press Demo blog):
Ninermd is laughingly good humoredly recognized on the PD site as the blog’s dumbo deluxe most mentally challenged fellow. Whenever the subject of Smith arises, Ninermd comes roaring out of the sewer woods to embark on a hellacious, foaming, snarling, frenzied harangue that is sickening a marvel to behold. Truly a die hard jerk anti-Smith club member.

TIM (TOP_CAT) (Press Demo blog):
TIM oozes pus resides mostly on the PD blog, but is so enamored of his smarmy personality that his puke laden drivel posts can also be found regularly on the Gate, Barrows, and now Maiocco’s new Comcast site. TIM absolutely lives to trash Smith and doesn’t even need the subject of Smith to come up to find a way to insert his creepy obsession view into the blog stream. His posts always take the form of a) Smith sucks, and b) but he’s a nice fellow and I hope he does better because I love the Niners gag me. This repulsive cute little boy motif took such a massive dagger in the heart hit when his hero Shaun Hill was benched last year, that TIM, then blogging under the name TOP_CAT, disappeared from the blogosphere for three or four months, crawling off in disgrace licking his wounds, before reappearing with his new TIM moniker. What hasn’t changed, however, is his incessant hatred for Smith. Without missing a beat, TIM now performs as Nate Davis‘ unhired but always working pimp promoter. For TIM, anybody but Alex will do.

BetterThanParaag (Press Demo blog):
As one can deduce from this comically pompous screen name, Paraag tries to impart to himself analytical powers superior to the 49ers resident numbers whiz Paraag Marthe. However, while Marthe’s career path keeps rising, Better’s keeps sinking. From a blizzard of stats and facts supposedly proving Shaun Hill’s superior QB abilities over Smith, Paraag took a face first splat on the street precipitous fall when Hill was kicked to the sidelines in 2009. Since then, he has left the world of stats behind and now resides in the basic mud throwing grumbler’s room, dissing Smith at every opportunity.

Patm2143 (SF Gate blog):
Pat’s a nice fellow most of the time, but when it comes to Smith, he never has a kind word to say. He does however constantly have a disagreeable word to say, sometimes many words, which is so not Gene Autry, indicating a deep psychosis disbelief in the remotest possibility that Smith can ever succeed. He, like TIM, is an enthusiastic member of the Nate Davis Fan Club.

Sophrosyne (SF Gate blog):
Our alleged collegian and elitist snob erudite discerner, between tittering remarks about her sleek and desirable young body, likes to interpret Smith’s body language and facial expressions. From these she deduces his lack of leadership skills and drifts further into total lunacy hallucinogenic prophesy by divining “whispers” emanating from the 49ers locker room that teammates and coaches, despite all public pronouncements to the contrary, secretly have no faith in Smith and would prefer Nate Davis as the starting QB.

Flyingv68 (SF Gate blog):
Strictly speaking, V doesn’t have a fetish about hating Smith, like the others do, he just hates everything about the 49ers post-Eddie D. with equal mumble-speak.

A Multitude of Others (All blogs):
The sheer amount of bloggers who stampede through the 49er blogosphere during the course of a year, some for a week, some for a month, some for a year, who like to trash Smith defies comprehension. I’m sure I have blocked out of my mind unfortunately omitted many worthy members of this depraved concerned and vocal populace. My apologies to them. Readers can feel free to jog my memory regarding any deserving bloggers I have somehow overlooked.

Spitblood (SF Gate blog) (Press Demo blog) (Matt Barrows’ blog):
Like FlyingV, Spitblood doesn’t properly belong in this exclusive Haters Club, because he hates everything. I just thought I’d throw him in here for laughs.

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5 comments on “The Smith Haters Club
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Too funny! The best ones are the ones that when called out say I never said….? They ride the fence on the haters side to hedge their opinions so they won’t have to run to save those opinions later. I’ve been called a Smith lover because I refuse to disparage him. He’s been through a lot and still shows excellent potential at only 26 years old. I know he needs to shit or get off the pot this year but he does improve every year he gets good playing time without being injured.

    I think what happened is when Nolan played him while his shoulder was injured, and then Steve Young said on national TV something to the effect, “You need to somethong to give you hope, and we’re not seeing that”, many people formed their opinions right then and there. I watched him throw one warm-up pass before playing against New Orleans and knew he should not play.

    Even though I don’t even try to say I know more than Nolan about football, obviously, there are some things I can absolutely tell you about QBing that he will never know. There is no way Smith should’ve been playing with that bad shoulder, just by looking at his throwing motion, and then the coach used him as an example to the team for a lack of toughness. Moron coach. And of course, to many, that was the fault of the 23 year old QB who was the one who ended up taking the high road in the incident after his agent had enough of the idiot coach and exposed him.

  2. DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Excellent piece today, Skeebers. Who woulda thunk that the former Buc and current Browns TE could garner such a throng of haters out here in Niner Land? They really need to focus their time, effort and questionable venom and vitriol on something more relevant–like our starting quarterback. Sounds like a bunch of misplaced anger on that poor TE named Alex Smith if ya’ ask me. They need to get a life. Oh, wait. You mean *that* Alex Smith. Well in that case, wail away.

  3. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Another issue is the Sardine Can offense. What QB could survive that offense in today’s game. In debating this issue all season, I noticed most fans do not even look at formations. A lot notice play calling, but not as it relates to formations. After the Bears game, or the first halves of the Lions or 2nd Rams game, most of the comments were anti Alex. Hardly anybody noticed the Sardine Can Offense was in use in all of those situations. Pack the formations, which allows packing the defense. Raye got wrath and ire for his play calling, but not his choice of formations. Fans do not bother to see that. The Rams game is a great example. SCO in the first half = losing 3-0. Spread formations in the 2nd half = 28-6 victory. But the blogs were instead, full of “it took Smith a full half to do something”. This is why I am on my SCO campaign. I’m trying to educate my fellow fans, it is the LoveBerger doing his thing! When Alex screws up, I’ll speak up. So far the culprit in 2009 was the draded SCO.

  4. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I’ll carry out my last post even further. Many fans think when you say spread formations it means shot gun. Any offense can be run with shot gun, even goal line. Iowa used the Pistol offense last year for short yardage. I’d debate some about this last year and the retort would be something about “they ran shot gun in the first half.

    Spreading the formations does not mean shot gun. It means spreading the receivers, and nothing else. Shot gun is a completely different subject. We ran the Sardine Can Offense out of the shot gun often last year.

  5. FranchiseNo Gravatar says:

    Smith will produce. Niners have got a legitimate backup in Carr, who will not only be at Smith’s heels in camp, but quite anxious to get behind the best o-line he’s ever had in his entire career.

2021 Schedules
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10L
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05: L Seahawks 30, 49ers 23 12/12 · 10:00 AMCIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17