Yesterday’s post considered the impact drafting Alex Smith has had on the franchise. It has also had a monstrous impact on the 49er blogging community. In fact, in the five years since Smith was drafted, a large and vociferous club of really mean, nasty, ill-mannered, contemptuous, poorly dressed, toe jam eating, fang-toothed, forked tongue, completely irrational bloggers has emerged whose constant heartfelt outpouring involves the utter trashing of Sir Alex the Smith.
Ahem. These incessant scumbags nice fellows have made their views known so assertively and confidently and continuously that I’m sure they won’t mind being recognized for their diseased omni-prescience in the matter of QB analysis and judgment.
To wit, the Prominent Haters Loathers:
Ninermd (Press Demo blog):
Ninermd is laughingly good humoredly recognized on the PD site as the blog’s dumbo deluxe most mentally challenged fellow. Whenever the subject of Smith arises, Ninermd comes roaring out of the sewer woods to embark on a hellacious, foaming, snarling, frenzied harangue that is sickening a marvel to behold. Truly a die hard jerk anti-Smith club member.
TIM (TOP_CAT) (Press Demo blog):
TIM oozes pus resides mostly on the PD blog, but is so enamored of his smarmy personality that his puke laden drivel posts can also be found regularly on the Gate, Barrows, and now Maiocco’s new Comcast site. TIM absolutely lives to trash Smith and doesn’t even need the subject of Smith to come up to find a way to insert his creepy obsession view into the blog stream. His posts always take the form of a) Smith sucks, and b) but he’s a nice fellow and I hope he does better because I love the Niners gag me. This repulsive cute little boy motif took such a massive dagger in the heart hit when his hero Shaun Hill was benched last year, that TIM, then blogging under the name TOP_CAT, disappeared from the blogosphere for three or four months, crawling off in disgrace licking his wounds, before reappearing with his new TIM moniker. What hasn’t changed, however, is his incessant hatred for Smith. Without missing a beat, TIM now performs as Nate Davis‘ unhired but always working pimp promoter. For TIM, anybody but Alex will do.
BetterThanParaag (Press Demo blog):
As one can deduce from this comically pompous screen name, Paraag tries to impart to himself analytical powers superior to the 49ers resident numbers whiz Paraag Marthe. However, while Marthe’s career path keeps rising, Better’s keeps sinking. From a blizzard of stats and facts supposedly proving Shaun Hill’s superior QB abilities over Smith, Paraag took a face first splat on the street precipitous fall when Hill was kicked to the sidelines in 2009. Since then, he has left the world of stats behind and now resides in the basic mud throwing grumbler’s room, dissing Smith at every opportunity.
Patm2143 (SF Gate blog):
Pat’s a nice fellow most of the time, but when it comes to Smith, he never has a kind word to say. He does however constantly have a disagreeable word to say, sometimes many words, which is so not Gene Autry, indicating a deep psychosis disbelief in the remotest possibility that Smith can ever succeed. He, like TIM, is an enthusiastic member of the Nate Davis Fan Club.
Sophrosyne (SF Gate blog):
Our alleged collegian and elitist snob erudite discerner, between tittering remarks about her sleek and desirable young body, likes to interpret Smith’s body language and facial expressions. From these she deduces his lack of leadership skills and drifts further into total lunacy hallucinogenic prophesy by divining “whispers” emanating from the 49ers locker room that teammates and coaches, despite all public pronouncements to the contrary, secretly have no faith in Smith and would prefer Nate Davis as the starting QB.
Flyingv68 (SF Gate blog):
Strictly speaking, V doesn’t have a fetish about hating Smith, like the others do, he just hates everything about the 49ers post-Eddie D. with equal mumble-speak.
A Multitude of Others (All blogs):
The sheer amount of bloggers who stampede through the 49er blogosphere during the course of a year, some for a week, some for a month, some for a year, who like to trash Smith defies comprehension. I’m sure I have blocked out of my mind unfortunately omitted many worthy members of this depraved concerned and vocal populace. My apologies to them. Readers can feel free to jog my memory regarding any deserving bloggers I have somehow overlooked.
Spitblood (SF Gate blog) (Press Demo blog) (Matt Barrows’ blog):
Like FlyingV, Spitblood doesn’t properly belong in this exclusive Haters Club, because he hates everything. I just thought I’d throw him in here for laughs.