The Raiders’ Swag

PFT‘s first 2013 Power Poll began oozing from its website this past week, and leading off, in the very last spot on the chart, was the Oakland Raiders. Dead last at number 32. Also leaking its way into existence, from the possibly concussion addled brain of former player Ron Jaworski was a ranking of NFL Quarterbacks which had Matt Flynn, this year’s Oakland Raider sacrificial offering, also listed as the dead last number 32 entry.

If these thunk-it-up-amacallits are anywhere close to accurate, Raider fans will witness through their inebriated and severely damaged cranial mechanisms what will be the 11th consecutive non-winning season for the silver and black franchise.

Translation for the mentally challenged Oakland fan base: Dig in you skull loving, eye-patch ensembled dipwads, it’s going to be another really loooooong, laughable debacle of a season! Hahahaha.

Actually, it would be good for the Bay Area blogs if the Raiders could manage to find their way back to respectability. It’s painful to see Raider fans slinking around vacantly like survivors of a nuclear holocaust. Poking fun at them is about as entertaining as hooting at a cripple.

It was easy to imagine Al Davis roaring down the road on an outlaw bike. Heck, he even looked like a skull during his final years. But his son? Mark Davis looks about as outlaw as George Michael Dukakis looked CIC when he was bouncing around in that 1988 Army tank.

The biggest reason to hope for a Raider turnaround, though, is getting to watch a decent football game on the Sunday AFC channel. The eight home games are always blacked out, forcing CBS to show some other game, but the eight road games are always televised and that means a black hole on the Sunday TV viewing landscape.

Colin Kaepernick referred to something called his “swag” in his recent attempts to belittle 49er fans while atoning for belittling 49er fans. Apparently, “swag” is THE most overused word by the most current new generation of American hominids. It historically meant stolen booty, but now means just about anything along the lines of “it is what it is”, “uh, you know, stuff”, “my shit, dude”, or “I don’t have a vocabulary, but I do have a word that means ‘whatever’ and makes me sound like a with-it young fellow.”

Is it just me or does it seem like there’s an Appalacian type sub-culture dialect creeping through America that is used by rich guys trying to sound homeboy hip and unemployed guys selling and using drugs? Or is it just today’s “swag” replacing yesterday’s “thing”?

– Skeebers Skeeberton Skeebaloney, swagging off.

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47 comments on “The Raiders’ Swag
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Is George Dukakis related to Michael Dukakis?
    I always said I’d rather do Bush than Dukakis!

  2. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Oops. Mixed swagipedia.

  3. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    You can probably get asylum in Venezuela.

  4. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    I have never understood the concept of the ESPN “Nude” issue.
    I have no interest in seeing any guy naked no matter his celebrity.
    No doubt the guys who pose are in terrific shape but they are very narcissistic and I suppose this is meant to fuel their ever growing egos.
    This is forever etched into my brain on why to leave the shirt on cuz not all bodies are meant to be seen

  5. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    If they sign Collie that means the
    young guys are not cutting it.
    Always the chance somebody will scoop up Collie just to screw the Niners over.

  6. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    IMHO Collie should pack it in. He has had too many concussions and it’s just not worth playing football a couple of more years just to get dementia when he is 55.

  7. winderNo Gravatar says:

    I heard too much swagging off grows hair on the palms.

  8. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I thought it was swagging rubs the hair off the palms!

  9. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Try being Catholic and getting caught swagging in church on Palm Sunday. Hair growing on your palms is the least of your worries.

  10. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    The chess match continues
    Niners cut a guy and Seahags pick him up
    In order to pick him up Seahags cut Charly Martin and the Niners pick him up. fun fun fun

  11. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Chad Gaudin is starting tonight for the Giants in SD vs the Padres. I’m going to the game. Look for me on the boob tube. I’ll be in the ER section lying on a gurney.

  12. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Yahoo Sports has ranked their QBs and have given their best and worst case scenarios. One week from rookie training camp.
    Colin Kaepernick ranked 9th

    Best Case: No Michael Crabtree, no problem. Kaepernick is indestructible his first full year on the job, becoming the full realization of the long-gestating, but never quite achieved NFL dual-threat quarterback. His arm calls to mind Ben Roethlisberger, while his legs stir memories of vintage-era Michael Vick. Kaepernick runs away with No. 1 fantasy quarterback status as the 49ers seal the Super Bowl deal Jim Harbaugh’s third year on the job.

    Worst Case: Kaepernick’s cannon arm and Harley-like rushing ability aren’t enough to counter the loss of Crabtree and an offseason of adjustments from enemy defensive coordinators. Kap’s Cam-like slump doesn’t knock the 49ers out of Super Bowl contention, but has fantasy owners wishing they had made the “safe” pick with Matt Ryan instead.

  13. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Marcus Lattimore interview.
    Watch the interview and at the end listen to what he says (Nnamdhi better watch out LOL!)

  14. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Interview with Vance Mcdonald

  15. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Sorry screwed that one up
    This is the Vance McDonald interview

  16. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    I just purchased the ESPN FF mag yesterday. Here is the Christopher Harris synopsis on Kap who is ranked #7 right behind Matt Ryan.
    His physical tools are an unholy amalgam of Cam Newton, Robert Griffin III and Andrew Luck, and when the 49ers unleashed the full power of their read-option attack in the playoffs, he was almost unstoppable. Big-armed, accurate, athletic freaks who break 50-yard TD runs don’t grow on trees. A couple of drawbacks. It’s unclear whether Jim Harbaugh will unshackle Kap’s downfield ability, given the team’s lack of a reliable speed receiver. Plus, when a QB runs, the chances for an injury increases. But consider: If you prorate his seven regular-season starts last year to a full year’s worth, his stats would’ve been 3,675 passing yards, 544 rushing yards, 23 passing TDs and 5 rushing TDs. That would’ve made him the No. 8 QB, and he was just getting started. We’re buying.

  17. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    McDonald has a face and head that looks like it was chiseled from fine Italian marble. I wouldn’t want to headbutt that guy.

  18. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Well, if Nnamdi continues to play like he did last year he’ll be crying on Kerry Washington’s shoulder because the Niners will cut ’em. Asomugha ranked 64th of 71 cornerbacks last season, yielding the fourth most yards after catch and third highest passer rating (120.6) against.
    ***Attention 49er Coaches*** Nnamdi can’t play zone. If he can still cover at all, it’s in man-to-man. Put Nnamdi in zone coverage and we deserve what we have coming in Week 1…Touchdown Aaron Rodgers!

  19. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Shit. I forgot we already have Craig Dahl back there to boot. He’s yielded 2 Aaron Rodgers TDs by himself already. 21-0 Pack.

  20. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Yelling “Baba Booey!” has nothing on this prank. If you can’t make fun about a plan crash, at what can you laugh? KTVU is so “Hoo Le Fuked.”

  21. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I just watched the two interviews and to answer the last question, I’m taking Zoe Saldana to the scars!

  22. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Oops! I’m taking Zoe to the Oscars. She will probably give me some scars along the way.

  23. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    I was thinking about the explanations for why it is OK for Kaepernick to wear a Dolphins cap.
    It’s a free country is one that I have heard often.
    It’s a free country is about as juvenile and lame of an excuse one can give. Think about it, you can apply it to any situation and there is no common sense behind it. Go to a restaurant and walk out without paying or cheat on your wife and on both occasions tell them it’s a free country and see what happens.
    The other excuse I hear is Colin is into fashion and the colors match his wardrobe ensemble for the day.
    Explain that one to Charlie Kruger and Hacksaw and see how that flies. Just tell them that Kaepernick is a fahionista and his fashion sense demands he wears a Dolphins cap.
    I’d like to keep some football traditions rather then have them trampled on for the sake of fashion.
    I hope Frank Gore or Justin Smith
    will sit him down and explain this to CK.

  24. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Like CSN&Y said many years ago
    “Teach Your Children Well”.
    If we don’t hand down values and guide the younger generation to keep traditions alive there won’t be any to carry on.

  25. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Bullit- Maybe he thinks he is from the Valley of Kings?

  26. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    “Guinevere had Golden Hair”.

    Like yours, m’lady, like yours.

    Guess I have to listen to that album again.

    At least “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes”.

  27. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Del I’m crying over here with that video ‘news’ clip.
    Was this actually sold on air as legitimate news?
    Where is KTVU News located?
    It has to be ‘Faux News’ no?
    That is hysterical.
    Wi Tu Lo……ya think?

  28. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    I just watched an old vid of CSN, but more fun were the comments.

    People from all over the world.
    Vets coming home from Iraq. Old hippies.

    Young kids who were going to go punk until they heard this album.

    I don’t have to anything. CSN and bands like them did it for me a long time ago.

  29. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Actually I found the answer Del, good ‘Ol Summer Intern got one through the filters…..
    Upon learning of the mistake both agencies made statements.

    KTVU said,

    “Earlier in the newscast we gave some names of pilots involved in the Asiana Airlines crash. These names were not accurate despite an NTSB official in Washington confirming them late this morning. We apologize for the error.”

    The NTSB for its part in the debacle said,

    “A summer intern acted outside the scope of his authority and erroneously confirmed the names to the station.”

    I know, not something to laugh about but, how can you not be amused by a Summer Intern who punks a live broadcast?

  30. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    NJ, my Unc in Sarotoga was a ‘747 pilot who flew out of SFO to Europe until he hit forced retirement age.

    Too close to home. Just too close to home.

    Back to CSN.

  31. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    NJ, I watch the KTVU news on a daily basis. They’re the local Fox affiliate (based in Oakland) and have most of the Niner broadcasts. Not to mention the pre and postgame shows.
    I fell bad for the anchorwoman, Tori Campbell, I’ve watched her for years. I still can’t believe she read those names on air. But the real kicker is that the actual name of the Asiana pilot is Lee Kang-Kuk. No joke.
    Lee Kang-Kuk? Can he? I know his brother can. If Yan can cook, so can you!

  32. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I’m still laughing over the fact that it got announced as fact Del.
    Like those old Chinese Restaurant Menu Jokes we’ve heard over the years.
    Or the Oriental Dr that diagnosed the hernia.
    Won Hung Lo.

  33. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    If a Summer Intern can get this past the filters at the NTSB and, guys like Snowden can access high level security information, who the heck is minding the store in DC?
    All these idiots in Government appear to be asleep at the wheel.

  34. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    NJ- The only thing the stooges in government care about is beng around for 6 years to get their full pesion. They are just like us, indignant in public and laughing amongst friends.

  35. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I’m beginning to think a job in the Gov is where it’s at Berger?
    Like weathermen, you get paid whether you’re right or wrong.
    Sure doesn’t seem like much gets done that matters on The Hill these days.
    Summer Interns running the place this time of year I wonder?

  36. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Yes indeed it’s a free country.
    You are free to draw attention to the fact that your names also appeared on the police report in 2007.
    WTF were these knuckleheads thinking?

  37. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    I need to leave indefinitely and I’ll probably miss at least the beginning of the season. Somebody tell Dennis for me to cancel the UFO Coyotes for this season.

    My friends from the mountains just showed up for a visit, and I’ve been seriously thinking of moving back in with them for quite some time.

    Lots of logistics to figure out, then accomplish.

    My friends are more than a bit strange, but they are the sweetest people in the world.

    We helped out the old lady across ths street, who has had 3 strokes.

    But she has my old room, so I’m probably going to have to stay in the freezing cold converted garage room.

    We ALL work together, each according to our own abilities.

    I’ll try to keep up with the Niners, but I have work to do now.

    I’ll be a lot closer to the real mountains and touring, and my very good friend Gail who LOVES to tour.

  38. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    They don’t know yet a have a 23″ flat screen TV, a quarter the size of theirs.

    Pat will ADORE it and probably spend hours watching his old Andy Griffith Show tapes after work.

    And I’ll help feed his horse. They used to have 3, but had sell off 2 for nothing in this economy.

    Good times are coming back, I hope. As soon as the weather cools down.

  39. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    I was rewatching vids from ABQ on the July 3rd hailstorm.

    Family Dollar is still open, where I buy all my food and things.

    The brand new chain store across the street is closed.

    It’s very sad, but it’s very true. I’m surprised I’m not on one of those vids. I was out trying to help clear the road with the Benz.

    Oh well, I hope the only men’s clothing store in town is still intact, because I need some.

    “She got Legs!” Sometimes you just gotta laugh so you don’t cry so hard.

  40. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    DENNY THE GREAT is 30/1 in the last at HOL.
    I did NOT bet him.

  41. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Son of a bitch! DENNY THE GREAT just won the opener at Del Mar next Wednesday. Denny’s still running. See you then…

  42. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    It’s simply too hot to go to bed yet, so I poked around Youtube.

    Found an amateur video of the Champ Game in 1981 (really 1982 of course) against the Cowpokes.

    Radio announcers this time. Bored because of the weather, so I’ve been studying every play.

    Some day I may actually write about it.

    “It was a 1950’s pick play designed by Bill Walsh”.

    “We had a Plan A and a Plan B”.

    Plan A was Freddie Solomon. Plan B was me.

    Those plays are timeless. Coaches around the league still use them every game.

    Interviews with the Cowboys.

    “It was the reverse that really killed us. We had been expecting pass, and had a dime defense in. They kept running sweeps”.

    Think I’ll watch and listen to it again and then go to bed.

    Happy Bastille Day!

  43. RTFireflyNo Gravatar says:

    “Designed by Paul Brown.”

    After I move, and weather changes, I’ll learn how to edit my own stuff.

  44. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Forbes has the 49ers listed as the 17th most faluable sports franchise in the world.

  45. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    And ironically the SF Giants are at 49.
    Things that make you go Hmmmmmmm?

  46. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

  47. My Web PageNo Gravatar says:

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2021 Schedules
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10L
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05: L Seahawks 30, 49ers 23 12/12 · 10:00 AMCIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17