The Man Who Never Was

As March 4th looms in the not so distant future, it’s arrival delayed only by the inexorable empty days of February, an inconceivable notion is rising to the surface: the 49ers QB for the 2011 season might very well be David Carr.

Barring a re-up by Alex Smith, Carr will be the only QB on the roster during the lockout that seems to be coming. As such, he’ll be the only fellow who can study Jim Harbaugh’s playbook during this time. If the lockout extends through the summer, Carr will be handed the QB job by default.

This possibility falls into the category of events known as “I Don’t Want To Think About It.” Nuclear war, global famine, a direct hit by a sizeable meteorite, and death are the types of things also in this category.

Carr had a curious 2010 year with the 49ers. Signing him and trading Shaun Hill were Scot McCloughan’s last two decisions as 49er GM. Mike Singletary had a hand in the signing, since he assured Carr his performance mattered, which Carr took to mean he had a chance to become the starter if he outperformed Smith.

While some sarcastic readers might suggest Carr outperformed Smith the first time he got under center and yelled “Hike!”, Singletary did not agree. In fact, during the summer OTAs and Training Camp, Singletary took the curious route of crapping on both Carr and Nate Davis, effectively dismissing two thirds of the three headed QB roster. Again, our sarcastic fellows might suggest Singletary stopped crapping one load short of a royal flush.

At any rate, Carr spent the year being an aloof afterthought, eventually suffering the indignity of being yanked after his one and only appearance and replaced by Troy Smith, who didn’t even know the playbook. A resounding declaration from Singletary that Carr, in his view, stunk.

Even our sarcastic crowd might allow the thought that Carr was treated shabbily, to say the least. Carr certainly felt that way and took refuge in the bible, offering up weekly Twitter quotes about tormented souls persevering through their hours of tribulation.

Carr did not seem to have any backers in the locker room, or even any visible friends. As of this bit of typing, he is an enigma. No one has actually seen him play QB, other than some appearances in pre-season games, and the one shove into the lineup to replace an injured Smith in the ill-fated Carolina game. All we really know about him is he throws the ball funny, isn’t very mobile, and had an opening career in Houston that rivals Smith’s in weirdness and disappointment.

Okay, I think I’ve talked myself down from the ledge now. There’s just no way Carr is going to be the QB next year. Even by default. Harbaugh would reactivate himself rather than let that happen. It’s all just a February nightmare.

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Posted in Angst 101
4 comments on “The Man Who Never Was
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs- You don’t seem to be too uxorious toward Carr!

  2. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t know, Berg. I devoted a whole post to him. That’s more than he got from Singletary.

  3. BergerNo Gravatar says:


  4. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Next time you go to Starbucks, take a close look at the goober selling you your coffee. THAT could be your next starting QB for the 49ers . . .

    Unxious I’ve heard of. Uxorious? Nope. . . .

2020 Schedule
9-13: L Cardinals 24, 49ers 20
9-20: W 49ers 31, Jets 13
9-27: W 49ers 36, Giants 9

10-4: L Eagles 25, 49ers 20
10-11: L Dolphins 43, 49ers 17
10-18: W 49ers 24, Rams 16
10-25: W 49ers 33, Patriots 6

11-1: L Seahawks 37, 49ers 27
11-5: L Packers 34, 49ers 17
11-15: L Saints 27, 49ers 13


11-29: W 49ers 23, Rams 20

12-7: L Bills 34, 49ers 24
12-13: L Washington 23, 49ers 15
12-20: L Cowboys 41, 49ers 33
12-26: W 49ers 20, Cardinals 12

1-3: L Seahawks 26, 49ers 23

2020 Draft Class
1. DT Javon Kinlaw, South Carolina
1. WR Brandon Aiyuk, Arizona State
5. OL Colton McKivitz, West Virginia
6. TE Charlie Woerner, Georgia
7. WR Jauan Jennings, Tennessee
2020 Prognostications (Mulligan Version)
Bullit: 6-10
NJ49er: 6-10

Skeebers: 7-9
Winder: 4-12

Grumpy: DNP