The Liberal Arts Game

It may seem like the season has been on the line for the past twelve games for the 49ers, but next Sunday it really, really is! A loss to the Seattle Seahawks would mathematically eliminate the team from the playoffs. When figuratively gives way to literally and becomes mathematically, it’s science.

2010 has been an agonizing journey. Excitement, optimism, high hopes, crushing disappointment, tears, disgust, anger, angst, despair, rage, resignation, sarcasm, black humor, and slapstick. The emotional roller coaster has been a total throw up ride. But we are finally there. It’s NO TOMORROW time.

No tomorrow for the team and for the coach and for the QB who has single handedly kept the blogosphere roaring for the past five years. Alex Smith is back! His mission is to win three division games. They are all winnable and he cannot lose even one of them.

Okay, Baby! I’m pumped. High Noon. Man or mouse. It doesn’t matter if Troy Smith should have kept his job or not. Philosophically and dramatically, the QB for these fateful end games MUST be Alex. It’s poetry.

This might well be the most fan appealing game in eight years. There is an aura of finality to this next game that has not been approached since the Buccaneers tossed the team aside in the 2002 playoffs. Those fans who have come to, well, hate Mike Singletary and Alex Smith will be perched on the edge of their guillotines, ready to let fall the fateful blade. Fans who lost interest in the season somewhere between the opening game Seattle loss and last Sunday’s loss at Green Bay, can now rouse themselves for one last hip-hip-hooray effort.

Even people who aren’t fans can smell the blood in the room and stop by for a prurient peek. And there are many fans who just don’t know what to feel. Their gut tells them to root for the Niners and their head tells them to lose one more and show Sing the door. The Quandary Section. I will not get into what Mrs. Singletary and Mrs. Smith are feeling about this game. That would lead us irrevocably into the Lifetime Channel, where people are known to have entered and disappeared endlessly.

This Seattle game also features, for you comic book fans, the Return of Kentwan Balmer as a subplot. Kentwan has gone from fat, lazy quitter in SF to starting DE in Seattle. True, it took two injuries to oof him into the lineup, but there he is, nonetheless. It would not be surprising to see Singletary request OC Mike Johnson to run over his ass with regularity.

Jed York is probably happy about this game. He’s done his job waving pom poms to get us here. One more sellout is assured, with only the season ender against Arizona left on the home game slate. Whew! Dodged the dreaded black outs for yet another year.

Meanwhile, it’s interesting to note that Jon Gruden’s son Deuce says the family is probably moving to California. Hmmmm. Not Oakland, for sure. San Diego, maybe. More likely … ?



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Posted in Tuesday Morning Waterboy
9 comments on “The Liberal Arts Game
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Where’s my Fotos? I want my Fotos.

  2. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Four more games and the 49ers can estivate. They can start planning for it after this game. They likely started planning their estivation after the Carolina game.

    I’ve said this with Alex starting, then with Troy starting and I’ll say it with Alex starting again, It does not matter who the QB is when you run the offense we run. Singletary runs the most QB unfriendly offense we have seen in years.

  3. Mr FletchNo Gravatar says:

    I’ll be at the game this Sunday, sitting behind the southern end zone. I will enjoy watching the plays unfold from behind, instead of the side views TVs show.

    Berger – yeah, the SCO is bad. But it’s even worse with a FB who is unable to block well. Of course, when you’re piling on the poor quality of the FB, you know your season is bad.

    So, anyway, I’ll be at the Current Most Important Game of the Season Since the Last Most Important Game of the Season!

  4. Mr FletchNo Gravatar says:

    Why do we need a QB who can run 300 pages of the playbook when we only call 10 different plays? Speaking of which, how many pages do you need to draw up “RB up the middle, behind the FB?”

  5. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    When I was in college I was doing some sound engineering. One of my friends was trying to talk me into learning to play the trumpet. I could read music because of the engineering but did not play any instruments. The worst thing that happened is he talked me into joining a school band while he was teaching me to play. In about a few days I finally learned to blow one note. Band practice was interesting to say the least. I would follow the music and every time that one note came up I blew my trumpet. The people in front of me had to be laughing.

    This is what Singletary must do on the headphones. He is not into Xs and Os, but he knows when we call that play up the middle. It is like the one note he knows. This could be why we run that play so often, so the coach can follow along and play too.

  6. robNo Gravatar says:

    quarterback unfriendly offense !
    it’s a new berger-ism !
    lol
    i still think our best shot at winning with the ‘QB unfriendly’:) offense is troy smith ! i don’t mind giving alex smith one more shot at it ! it’s probably the right decision . i hope he throws out his hesitant style of play and just lets it fly !

  7. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Answer- The telephone number you have dialed is temporarily out of service!

    Question- Troy Smith’s QBing and Robs telephone.

    Rob, have your people call my people and we’ll talk about the fat lady Singing and Troy Smith getting pummeled by any team with a winning record.

  8. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, yo, Rob! Gimme a call. We have to talk some fantasy football. I need your team to win this week to make the playoffs. And as of now you have Troy Smith as one of our starting QBs. That sheet ain’t gonna fly. Call me and we’ll devise a strategic game plan just like like Singletary and the Niners do at the half.
     
    And stop secluding and estivating yourself in Florida during the winter. That’s a summer thing to do.

  9. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    Instead of NoFear’s usual fotos of 49er action, I’m hoping he might have some captions of the expressions on the Faithful’s faces when Alex Smith was named starter again. Not sure, Nofear, would they most resemble “Faces of Death” Part I or II?

2020 Schedule
9-13: L Cardinals 24, 49ers 20
9-20: W 49ers 31, Jets 13
9-27: W 49ers 36, Giants 9

10-4: L Eagles 25, 49ers 20
10-11: L Dolphins 43, 49ers 17
10-18: W 49ers 24, Rams 16
10-25: W 49ers 33, Patriots 6

11-1: L Seahawks 37, 49ers 27
11-5: L Packers 34, 49ers 17
11-15: L Saints 27, 49ers 13

BYE

11-29: W 49ers 23, Rams 20

12-7: L Bills 34, 49ers 24
12-13: L Washington 23, 49ers 15
12-20: L Cowboys 41, 49ers 33
12-26: W 49ers 20, Cardinals 12

1-3: L Seahawks 26, 49ers 23

2020 Draft Class
1. DT Javon Kinlaw, South Carolina
1. WR Brandon Aiyuk, Arizona State
5. OL Colton McKivitz, West Virginia
6. TE Charlie Woerner, Georgia
7. WR Jauan Jennings, Tennessee
 
2020 Prognostications (Mulligan Version)
WINNERS:
Bullit: 6-10
NJ49er: 6-10

LOSERS:
Skeebers: 7-9
Winder: 4-12

ABSTAINERS:
Grumpy: DNP
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