The 49ers travel to Houston to play the Texans Saturday night. We all know what that means — COOTIES!!!
Fortunately, Houston isn’t Dallas, so the cooties aren’t super-sized, smelly, drooling, brain dead, road kill vermin. Just small, annoying, clueless, windshield splats.
If any of our readers are Texans, my condolences. It’s tough being a stranger in a STRANGE land.
Houston is famous for Sam, Bum, Earl, the Alamo, the Lone Ranger, oil, and the place to report problems in space when your ship breaks.
Michael Crabtree was born and raised in Dallas, BTW. [Eyeballs roll. Wellll, no wonder!]
The Texans have never been known as Super Bowl contenders, but that’s what they are this year. At least until kickoff time.
All kidding aside, Texas is a great state. It has … it has … hmmm … it has dirt. Lots of it. Miles and miles of good old weed growing dirt. As for the populated areas, we have urban drawl, which is a clever way to spruce up words so as to avoid admitting you are basically dumb as a rock.
Jim Harbaugh has hinted that Colin Kaepernick has pulled away in the battle for QB #2, but that seems more like Harbaugh horse manure than factual data. He declared this only one practice after last Friday’s game against the Vikings. C’mon! How much outstanding improvement can a guy make in one little practice?
At any rate, we’re now left with only a teensy battle for QB #3 — the clipboard holder and camp survivor. Last week, Scott Tolzien was first off the bench after the first two off the benchers had rebenched themselves, and Josh Johnson got the fourth quarter scrub duty. This week, the order will be reversed. It will also be our first extended look at Johnson, the guy many blog savants (BSers) considered a lock to either unseat Alex Smith or at least Kaepernick, but now finds himself fighting for a roster spot.
We didn’t see much of our big time offseason FA acquisitions in game one, nor our two top draft choices. That could change against the Texans. Or it might not. Since we and the rest of the league are quite keenly interested in the use and performance of these new 49ers, it’s possible Harbaugh is just as keen about keeping them hidden until the real games begin.
Given Harbaugh’s secretive ways, rooting for the Niners during training camp time requires a lot of faith — that virtue tossed into the dumpster by many people somewhere in their late teens. That we can even HAVE faith is a marked improvement from past regimes. In prior years, bloggists could push forth any sort of wild hair “expert” opinion and it was likely to be more accurate than anything fuming out of our coach’s lips. That’s a much riskier effort these days.
Aldon Smith and Ahmad Brooks will not be in the lineup for this game, so our pass rush is likely to be kind of weeny. It will give us a chance to see how good our secondary holds up when they have to cover WRs a few seconds longer than usual. Let’s hope the results aren’t too ghastly.