Step Out of the Car, Sir

One of the ramifications of the lockout is the cessation of drug testing or team monitoring. Guys are pretty much free to get ripped at will these days. Some will use this down time to go on a steroid bulk up. And some will just get loaded and party.

I spent most of my twenties getting loaded and partying, so I can’t point much of a righteous finger at this sort of behavior. Of course, I wasn’t making hundreds of thousands of dollars for keeping my body in tip top, purring condition. No, my body was something that followed me around and fell down stairs or tripped over chairs or necessitated late night purges over the porcelain bus. My body was in the way of my excellent mind adventures.

It seems to be a daily feature of ProFootballTalk reporting the latest player busted for one thing or the other, accompanied by the obligatory mug shot. Guys free from League supervision who drive around wasted, with no driver’s license, or a suspended one, while smartly carrying loads of illegal stuff in their cars, while they go on shopping sprees and then stiff the store on the bill, and then show up at parties as a mega-star dude that is one nasty word away from hauling out his guns and blasting away, and then telling the cops to shove off from his royal vicinity, leading to a night in the slammer.

Does anybody in the NFL have a valid driver’s license? I mean, these scraps of paper are pretty cheap and easy to get. Heck, ordinary Joe Blows have them. But day after day, some well heeled player is caught without one. Do they think being in the NFL is the same as having Diplomatic Immunity?

It’s an age old formula: Bozo + Bucks = Busted. You could toss in Babes, too, because they are always around. Usually lots of them.

If the lockout continues through the summer, some teams are going to have a whole wing in the locker room lining up to pee for the piper on penalty of suspension. One gong away from unemployment. Is the non-NFLPA concerned about the welfare of its brain dead citizens. Probably not.

The 49ers have made it a point to bring in players with “character” the past few years. That should treat them well during these days of free will temptation. The team’s players rarely ever show up on a police report. The same does not hold true for, oh say, the Cincinnati Bengals or the Minnesota Vikings. These organizations have to be sweating bullets during the lockout.

I’m sweating “words” myself. They don’t seem to be very willing and able these days. It’s like rounding up truculent witnesses at the scene of a crime. Here, Mr. Word. Come sit on my empty screen. Bring along your friends and get chummy together. Make group whoopie. Hey, have some drugs. Want to see my bazooka room? No license required. . . . .

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3 comments on “Step Out of the Car, Sir
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The NFL players like to bedaub themselves with some thick partying while bedaubing themselves with bling.

  2. FranchiseNo Gravatar says:

    Not as good as Dalton becoming the next Niner. 


    Now PKing is burping on the Andy purple-aid. He must have been lurking on Skeebers blog reading my scouting reports. 馃榾 


2021 Schedules
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10L
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05: L Seahawks 30, 49ers 23 12/12 路 10:00 AMCIN
12/19 路 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 路 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 路 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 路 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17