Runaway Bride

The courtship between the 49ers and Jim Harbaugh sailed smoothly along most of Wednesday, then fell apart around dinner time when Harbaugh went fishing for mo’ money. The Niners are offering $5 million per year, twice what Mike Singletary made, but the Dolphins are now said to be making a last minute offering of $7 million per year. We’ve gone from all about football to a pissing match between billionaires. Yech.

Now its ugly, folks. And it’s going to get even uglier. The question now is, which franchise is going to end up looking ridiculous? Probably both.

The Dolphins haven’t yet fired their coach, Tony Sparano, and haven’t conducted a Rooney Rule interview. But their owner flew cross country to San Jose last night to beg for Harbaugh’s services. This is already a classless maneuver and screams of desperation, but if Harbaugh says no, what are the fans in Miami going to think? I know. Who cares?

The Niners, on the other hand, said money was no object and now, well, money is an object. If they don’t land Harbaugh because of the money, Jed York will have turned his best hour into his worst. Somebody needs to tell Jed to stop shooting his mouth off, because it always ends up shooting his foot off, too. The guy is either a slow learner or he hasn’t yet escaped from the Singletary blow hard shadow.

In reality, Harbaugh could go to Miami and find out he’s no match for the Patriots and the Jets, and end up scratching on the windows of Michigan in three or four years. And the Niners might settle for Hue Jackson and end up owning the NFC West. Well, maybe that’s not reality, so much as strange shit happens. But life has a lot of strange to it, so it’s pleasant to think this way for the moment.

Not that Niner fans will be inclined to consider this possibility. No, no, baby. If Harbaugh goes to Miami, Jed York is going to reap a public relations disaster. See above, shooting mouth off. Combined with hiring Trent Baalke as GM, the blogosphere this coming off season will be one long nasty sumgum.

I’ve been known to be a glass half fuller guy, but starting the off season with a highly publicized pratfall, following directly upon a highly publicized failed season, might just get me to finally kick the Kool Aid habit. Can’t these dopes get anything right?

I suppose there’s a chance the York’s could pony up another million and Harbaugh could accept it and all will be well in Ninerville today, leaving the Miami owner to a long flight home with a plane load of red ass, while York salvaged his rep and the fans all cheered. That was the original scenario, minus the Miami interference. And whipping Miami would even add to the fan glow and Jed’s hubris. But the whole “it’s all about the money” gig always puts a puke smell in my nose. The fact that Harbaugh opened the door to Miami at the last moment, abandoning a hand shake deal, just because of the extra money, really takes the shine off this guy for me. Hey dude, if you’re any good, there will be plenty of money coming down the pipeline. Why not earn it, if you’re so damn confident you’re the ace of spades.

As you can see, the thrill is gone, baby. Gone away from me. You know you done me wrong, baby. I hope you get hit by a falling tree. Oh, yeah, baby. Go drown in a Dolphin sea. Ooooooh, baby, . . . . .

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26 comments on “Runaway Bride
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Just as you think our team is being chatoyant, Jed low balls his #1 choice for coach. At least that is what we are hearing.

  2. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    The owner of the Dolphins once gave a 100 million endowment to the Univ of Michigan. Of course he is going to talk to Harbaugh, and of course Harbaugh will listen. Stay tuned for another day or two. Harbaugh is my #1 choice, but he is not my only choice.

  3. TonyNo Gravatar says:

    Guys this crap is really giving me a headache…Berger i dont think 5 million a year for a college coach is low balling…and id think if Harbaugh wants another million or so jed would probubly give it to him..But this ahole from Florida looks like he’d spend anything …maybe 10 million or more per…..And does anyone recall another owner pulling this shit when a deals almost done for one team…then take a midnight friken flight to screw another owner….till now my most hated teams are Oakland, Dallas and Seasucks…but ive just added a new one !!!

  4. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Belichick is the highest paid coach in the league, at 7.5 mil. Miami paying Harbaugh that much is absurd. 5 mil is a more than fair offer. But the fans won’t see it that way, for sure.

  5. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I agree that making a college coach te highest paid in the league is stupid but Jed did say money is no object. My comment was not based on his not wanting to pay because I do believe 5 mil a year is plenty, but rather it is aimed at his stupid statement that money is no object. Obviuosly it is.

  6. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    That’s the big problem, all right. See above: shooting mouth off.

  7. JoshNo Gravatar says:

    I said it yesterday and I’ll say it again, screw Harbaugh for acting like a prima dona WR. The thing is, sure Jed said money isn’t an issue. It doesn’t mean he needs to bend over to give it to this guy who hasn’t proven dick in the NFL. If Miami wants to pay him close to 9 million per season just to take a chance, let them. There are still plenty of EXPERIENCED coaches out there and i don’t think we’d be settling. To me, Huey looks like a better option. Any man who can get the Raiders offense to 10th is more impressive to me than an 11-1 Pac-10 record.

  8. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    Hue Jackson? Trent Baalke + Hue Jackson = 0 interest. Nobody and I mean NOBODY will give a rat’s ass about this team. I know I won’t.

  9. FranchiseNo Gravatar says:

    The niner PR department apologies in advance – Jed was terribly misquoted when he said “Money is no object” when he actually said “Money is so suspect” It was challenging to discern when he mispoke with mouthful of Crêpes at the Four Seasons.

  10. FranchiseNo Gravatar says:

    Josh, I saved a seat for you shotgun on the HJ bandwagon. Hop in. 
    If Big Al has any sense left in that noggin of his, he’ll make an offer to Hue stat. 

  11. JoshNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, I’m not saying Hue is my number one choice. But at least that guy has proven he can get a lot out of a little in Oakland. As an NFL coach. I just find myself literally upset that Harbaugh is acting like this. If he was such a good fucking coach, why are only 2 teams in the running? And Baalke? Whatever. As being a high ranking person in charge of our draft this season, he did a good job. The draft didn’t produce a flashy name, but we got what we needed. And he extended and locked in guys like P Willy and VD. I don’t know much about the GM position and what he actually does, but so far, he’s off to a nice start in my world.

  12. TonyNo Gravatar says:

    hey guys check this out >>ESPN’s Mike Sando reports that ex-Broncos coach Josh McDaniels is not interested in the 49ers’ head coaching vacancy.

    What a frikken joke

  13. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Haha. The weird keeps getting weird. Luck is about to announce he’s staying at Standford for 2011. Eat it, Panthers.

  14. TonyNo Gravatar says:

    Thanx to Haraughs money grab..and with Luck staying at Stanford…(f u Carolina…:) now we’re set up to go 1 – 15 next year and then draft him !!!

  15. TonyNo Gravatar says:

    miami radio says harbaugh accepted 8 mil offer from dolphins

  16. FranchiseNo Gravatar says:

    Bad news: Harbaugh is headed to South Beach for a rumored 8mil per. They can have him. He’ll also enjoy playing HORSE with Lebron, as well as the seasonal hurricanes there. 


    Good news: Luck is truly a Stanford student – smart enough to stay one more year to chase the cheerleaders. 


    My prediction: Niners will go 1-15 with teddy bear Tomsula at the helm, and inevitably draft our franchise quarterback from Menlo Park in 2012! 


  17. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah, Jed needs to get a fricking muffler for all the shit he says. Starting with “we are still in it at 0-5” then saying he should have canned Sing earlier, after he cornholed the rest of the season. Duh. 8,000,000 people in Ninerland were screaming that very thing for 12 weeks.
    Then there’s the “exhaustive search for GM” while Baalke was already in place and apparently wooing Harbaugh. F*ck Harbaugh for whoring this whole thing up. Jed said “money is no object” but I’m sure he wasn’t prepared to go $8 mill.
    Carroll got a lot of money, but he HAS NFL experience, as fair-to-middling as it is. No way he should be making more than Bellichick. But, hey the market is what the market is. If they pay hi $10 mmill a season, that’s what he’s worth.
    Hope he works out just like Nick Saban did for ya, Miami.

  18. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Hey, Hue Jackson (or Jimmy Hat Raye, or whoever) gets a free trip to Fla.

    “Hiya owner”

    “Hiya coach”

    “Harbaugh’s our guy”


    “See ya, coach”


  19. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Somebody let me know when they hear something other than a rumor.

  20. FranchiseNo Gravatar says:

    Here’s one Berger – Marcell Dareus to enter the draft. A big ugly the niners could use to either clog the middle or bookend Justin – take your pick. Fairley is yet another ugly with a short fuse. 


    Popcorn and DVR gun in hand on Monday night. 


  21. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    This is getting hilarious. Now the Dolphins have dumped Harbaugh and are keeping Sparano.

  22. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Franchise- I would guess #1 pick just became AJ Green or Nick Fairly.

  23. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    If Harbaugh goes back to Stanford this will remind me of the annual courting of Univ of Utah’s BB coach Rick Majerus only to have him stay at Utah.

  24. TonyNo Gravatar says:

    UNFUCKEN BELIEVABLE…now its niners or stanford……….what the hells going on??

  25. unca chuckNo Gravatar says:

    You gotta wonder what the hell went on in Miami. Does it have anything to do with the fact that they hadn’t fired their sitting head coach, or followed the Rooney roole?

    I know the fans in Miami were pretty much done with Tony . . .

  26. Avery IngelsNo Gravatar says:

    Hello! I’ve been reading your website for a long time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Austin Texas! Just wanted to mention keep up the good job!

2021 Schedules
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10L
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05: L Seahawks 30, 49ers 23 12/12 · 10:00 AMCIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17