Return To Sender

Our old buddy pal, Mike Singletary, showed up in Mobile for the Senior Bowl event and parked himself at the top of the stadium, just like he did last year, presumably getting the big picture view. Sitting up there is also a way to draw attention to the vastness of oneself, while evading mixing it up in the X and O trenches with his less exalted brethren. Not that this was Mike’s intention, but it probably was.

Naturally, the 49er beat guys squeezed a few quotes out of his highness, which he was only too happy to supply. As long as he did not have to be specific about anything. He attributed part of his failed enterprise to the franchise’s history of great QB play, implying he was brought down by fans who didn’t like him viewing the QB as no more important than any of the other ten guys on the offense. Later, he stressed, somewhat contradictorily, that you needed a good QB, implying he didn’t have that luxury. At no time did he admit that anything he did, or was, had anything to do with why the team stunk it up last year. It was all somebody else’s fault and his only fault was not anticipating soon enough all the faults that were in place to undermine his efforts.

Both he and the Niners did agree that Singletary and Trent Baalke had a poor relationship, and communications between him and the front office pretty much ceased sometime in November, as Singletary retreated into his own world. Niner scuttlebutt says Baalke wasn’t sold on Sing. Sing says it was one of those things where the chemistry just wasn’t there.

At any rate, it seems clear that Singletary has yet to come to grips with the simple fact of his coaching existence that, basically speaking, he’s full of shit. Sorry, Mike, but your vision was dim and it was exposed. No workee jerkee, if you get my meaning.

I hate to pick on the guy, sort of, but nothing much else is going on, so WTF. A few months ago, Singletary was babbling like an idiot after yet another loss, and now he’s restored himself to Mr. Above It All. Hey, Dimwit. You cost us a whole effing season!

Singletary has the annoying habit of making definitive statements, then being unable to explain what he means. This is a disease similar to the guy who tells you he knows a secret and then won’t tell you what it is, leaving you with having to make a choice whether to beat the crap out of this guy or decide his secret is a pile of beans and not worth finding out about.

I’ll mention one last thing, Mr. Singletary. And you need to think about it. Your family has spent the past six years living in balmy California. They are now living in very cold, mosquito infested Land of Ten Thousand Lakes Minnesota. This will take some getting used to. There may be some testy moments on the home front in the coming days. Phrases like “Kawakami was right about you!” will crop up. You will respond by making inappropriate suggestions about where household opinions should be placed. It’s more than likely your wife will eventually divorce you and take the kids with her. You will be alone. Just thought you’d like to know. Cheers. Your friend, Niner Nation.

P.S.: Ha ha ha.



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Posted in Vulcan Mind Probes
7 comments on “Return To Sender
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebers- You were a bit gung-ho with your bitterness today. Well done!

  2. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Nice to see him get his shell defense and Sardine Can Offense as far away from here as possible.

  3. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    The first time Sing comes home and says, “Hey, troops, I brought home some sardines,” his kids, who are no doubt avid blog readers and SCO aware, will roll their eyes and Sing will say, “Hey, troops! Why the long face?”

  4. FranchiseNo Gravatar says:

    Yikes, A.P.B. on Beerows’ draft crush on Vonn Miller. Could be the niners version of Clay Mathews? Pahleez. My prophets from PFW continue to state otherwise. 

  5. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Von is gonna be a 1st Rd Pick.

    Right now I’d consider CJordan ahead of him.

    Herzlich from BC could be had later and is pretty interesting too.

  6. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    NJ- What do you know about Quinn. I’ve heard him compared to Peppers as an OLB pass rusher.

  7. Philippine FanNo Gravatar says:

    Back to Sing one last time…I can’t bring myself to read Beerows or MM on this man. It’s like having to review a sorry marriage, a shitty relationship or some kind of miserable acid flashback. But your words kinda put an end to all that, IT’S Over, Thank God!

    CB or OLB in first round. Harbaugh will find a coachable QB in 2nd or 3rd, like himself. What round was he drafted in anyway?

2020 Schedule
9-13: L Cardinals 24, 49ers 20
9-20: W 49ers 31, Jets 13
9-27: W 49ers 36, Giants 9

10-4: L Eagles 25, 49ers 20
10-11: L Dolphins 43, 49ers 17
10-18: W 49ers 24, Rams 16
10-25: W 49ers 33, Patriots 6

11-1: L Seahawks 37, 49ers 27
11-5: L Packers 34, 49ers 17
11-15: L Saints 27, 49ers 13

BYE

11-29: W 49ers 23, Rams 20

12-7: L Bills 34, 49ers 24
12-13: L Washington 23, 49ers 15
12-20: L Cowboys 41, 49ers 33
12-26: W 49ers 20, Cardinals 12

1-3: L Seahawks 26, 49ers 23

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
 
2020 Prognostications (Mulligan Version)
WINNERS:
Bullit: 6-10
NJ49er: 6-10

LOSERS:
Skeebers: 7-9
Winder: 4-12

ABSTAINERS:
Grumpy: DNP
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