The St. Louis Rams, this Sunday’s opponent, have the third-oldest 53-man roster in the league. How does a bad team, generally seen as in rebuilding mode, end up with so little youth on the squad? The 49ers are seen as a team arriving, after a rebuilding phase, and they have the fifth youngest team in the league.
One explanation is that the Rams are, well, the Rams. Hahaha.
This concludes our in depth analysis of the squad in St. Louis.
As for out depth analysis, the Rams have a 2009 first round left tackle, Jason Smith, who can’t play there and can’t play at right tackle, either. And it doesn’t matter, because he’s on IR, along with the other tackle, Roger Saffold. They have a high profile FA center, Jason Brown who has been benched in his second year with the team and replaced with SF castoff and perennial bench warmer Tony Wragge. [Go, Tony!] They have five CBs on IR! Their QB has been injured, their WRs are laughable, their schedule has been brutal, their coach is a lame duck, their ownership is in flux, and their St. Louis brethren baseball team just won the World Series and lost their long time manager Tony LaRussa so nobody gives an eff about the Rams and wishes they would just move back to L.A. and stop embarrassing their city.
On the plus side, there isn’t any. A 1-15 team has been rebuilt in two years to a 2-9 team. Now the rebuilt team must be rebuilt. Sounds like a job for a third world mechanic.
Everyone in the NFL and many who are not would like to find the answer to the biggest mystery in the league this year: How in hell did the Rams beat the Saints? Let’s hope this remains the biggest mystery and is not replaced by a greater one this coming Sunday.
Once upon a time, the Rams were hated rivals of the 49ers. This has not been the case since the team moved from Los Angeles to St. Louis in 1995. That is the same year that O. J. Simpson bought his way out of a double homicide rap, exposing the justice system as a buyer’s market and opening the door wide to Reality TV, which as we all know is mostly fake shit that entertains people by showing how depraved Americans are willing to be for a buck and some televised face time. This does not imply there was any connection between these two events, except to note that both O.J. and the Rams have reached similar fates as of 2011. You be the judge. Coincidence? Or something more sinister?
The Rams were briefly relevant from 1999 to 2003, winning one Super Bowl and being aced out of another one by Bill Belichick’s hidden camera crew. I point this out not to praise the Rams so much as get in a cheap shot at Belichick. It’s more fun to take shots at Belichick than to discuss the St. Louis Rams. Anyone can understand that. Right?
The Rams beat the 49ers last year in the Singletary-suicide game which locked the 49ers out of the 2010 playoffs. They then traveled to Seattle and laid an egg to lock them own selves out of the playoffs too. That is your Rams highlight reel for the second decade of the third millenium.
Some people inferred from the Rams 2010 season of general ineptitude but a lot better than 1-15 badness that the Rams were the favorite to win the NFC West in 2011. It’s been quite a bit of fun guffawing at these pundit people as this season has unfolded. Some of them, like ESPN NFC West blogger Mike Sando, went down kicking and screaming, which made guffawing at him even more fun. Mike was still gushing about the Rams when they reached 0-5, assuring one and all their second half schedule would lead them back to contending status. Thanks for the laughs, Mike.
But I come to bury the Rams, not to praise them. So suck it up Sunday and suck, Rams. We would prefer this game to be a laugher, followed by champagne all around. Don’t screw it up.