The 49ers will be without Frank Gore for the remainder of the season. In his place, we will see a two back rotation featuring Brian Westbrook and Anthony Dixon. Neither of these two leg churners specializes in pounding the ball into the line.
This would lead most blogonoggins to surmise that the offense the team unveils in Green Bay this weekend will have to be different from the one that’s been floundering for most of the season. Hmmmm. A new style of flounder. Kind of gets the old juices flowing. Somewhat. A little. Barely. Yawn.
The original OC has left the scene, along with the original QB, and now the original RB, but the original Offense is still unoriginal. Pigskin sleuths may see a connection somewhere in the building. Perhaps the person the connection sleuths to should take a clue this week from his old original OC, Mike Martz.
Mr. Martz is now working in Chicago and over the last few weeks has taken a clue from his previous HC (I am not making this circle jerk up) and changed his stripes voluntarily where oncest it was shoved down his throat. Instead of running his usual pass wacky offense, which was producing the usual slaughtering of his QB, Martz has gone run heavy over the past three games, with a short passing game replacing his usual bombs away downfield approach, and suddenly the Bears are playing the best they have all year.
Of course, going run heavy has not been a problem in San Francisco. Oh, no, not here. But, stripe changing has not been in evidence. That is the clue that completes the circle of origins that connect to SOMEONE IN THE BUILDING.
It is doubtful that anyone in Green Bay gives a spooky owl hoot whether clues change stripes for the 49ers this week. After all, they have a much better team. This is usually what wins games in the NFL. Some hysterical handwringers in Wisconsin might be shrieking “This is a TRAP game” to their tundra boys, but seriously, hahaha.
Sadly, there are no handwringers left in the Bay Area. No, out here it’s Speaks With Fist ville. Interspersed with Speaks With Snores. What would be entertaining this weekend (a novel concept) would be to see some wacky new shit. After all, this is a throw away game. A loss is guaranteed. Why not get funky! Give it the old plays in the dirt, school yard hot potato red light green light free for all kick the can whoop-D-doo? Make this game the Comic Relief game. Maybe the Packers would start laughing so hard they would forget to kill us!
I’m game planning here, Mr. SOMEONE IN THE BUILDING. True, I’m wasted and it’s 4 am. Big deal. The stripes have got to change. That’s all I know. Here’s your chance. Run with it. Oops. No, I take that back! Just kidding. Sigh. Too late. He’s got his head down and the brick wall is about to receive a visitor. WHAM! Ooofff. 42-3. Next!