Now that Jim Harbaugh has identified all the areas of weakness on the team, he would like to reconsider that job offer from Michigan.
Seriously, though, we hope the effort to convince the league that the 49ers should be taken lightly this year is nearing its conclusion. We get it, guys. You stink. No more demonstrations needed.
All those empty seats Saturday night made it pretty clear that guys who like to get wasted and brawl make up the vast proportion of preseason ticket buying fans. With extra police presence and DUI checks at game’s end, these ruffians decided not to attend this game. Or season ticket holders, who would be held responsible for the thugs they sold their tickets to, decided to eat the ticket and take a medical write-off instead.
Whatever, nobody missed anything worth seeing. It wasn’t that a few of the players didn’t look good, so much as so many of the players who looked awful. Fortunately, the final chapter in this preseason saga of ineptitude comes around quickly on Thursday and we can be done with it. Until it is revisited and seen as the real deal or an ugly mirage.
Not sure what top tier matadors get paid these days, but they couldn’t possibly rival the dough our O-line is hauling down. Nor could they rival the matadorial skills of our O-line, either. And how could they? They don’t have two offensive line coaches teaching such superior dodge the bull talents.
The 49er secondary looks on a par with last year’s guys, which is to say about eighteen over after the first nine holes. I’m sure it’s all a scheme type of thing. It couldn’t possibly be a skill type of thing. Nobody could be that bad even if they tried. Ever so often they would have to at least accidentally be in the way of a pass headed in their vicinity.
It looks like Ted Ginn will be returning punts and kickoffs again this year. Nobody else has looked worth crap at it. Phillip Adams seems to have a knack for punt returns, but he may not make the team in a numbers crunch at cornerback. Too bad.
The 49er pass rush is MIA as usual. Matt Schaub stood in the pocket untouched and unhurried for as long as he damn well pleased. Our own QBs, who are mainly used as punching bags and blocking sleds, could only sigh in envy, wondering what it must be like to drop back to pass and actually get to throw one. Not just once in a blue moon, but nearly every single time.
On the bright side, I’m not going to say anything more about this game. Toodleloo Texans. Back to your second class citizenship in the cow manure state. The 49ers are still the toast of the Bay Area. Oops. Did I say toast? Just a figure of speech. Like the preseason is a figment of our imaginations. Right, Toto?