Trent Baalke and Jim Harbaugh got in front of the mikes yesterday at the NFL Combine, but they didn’t say anything that we hadn’t already heard, which by and large wasn’t worth hearing in the first place since it was all the sort of vague baloney coaches specialize in serving up to avoid giving answers, so it doesn’t seem necessary to report it all again and you guys have to read it all again, so I won’t. Screw it.
The 49ers did not franchise or transition any players yesterday, so what they are up to, or have in mind, is a mystery. We have been assured they have plans A, B, and C in place and there is nothing to worry about. This is the same suggestion every team in the league is making, which will turn out to be either bullshit or brilliance, whenever turning out turns up. Ergo, we will be worried, thank you.
Weight gain and, in some already super-sized specimens, weight loss are the hot ticket items. With “hot” being a relative term meaning a bit warmer than a cube of ice. Most of the off hand chatter is about how useless this whole side show is, even though everyone is paying very close attention to it. [Hint: It’s February. Enough said.]
My own feeling is this event is more important to the coaching fraternity than the players and GMs. These coaches get to wander around leaving their phone numbers with other organizations to keep them in mind when those organizations fire a bunch of coaches and when the coaches themselves get their next pink slip, which happens about every two or three years for the majority of these NFL vagabonds who wander from team to team teaching routes or mechanics or stances or leverage or whatever.
You have to be a special kind of woman to be married to one of these assistant coaches, because you’re never going to live anywhere very long and frequently end up in places like Cleveland or Buffalo where you have lots of winter days to wonder why the hell you ever married this lunk in the first place. There’s probably an inner circle wives’ club for these unfortunate females which would definitely be fun to be a bug on the old wall at one of their get togethers, which would probably feature a lot of salty remarks and such. I’m only guessing, of course. It could be they all play bridge and have a fabulous time.
Being a kid in one of these families has got to be a little brutal. Every two years you are the new kid on the block, the new kid at school, and just when you’re getting a friendship going, poof! you’re gone again. It probably explains why some kids grow up and choose to live a grouchy life in a high-tech igloo in the Yukon, although I haven’t really researched this theory just yet. It’s on my To Do list.
I did want to make sure I passed along the news that DelMar Dennis is organizing a farewell party for Alex Smith next Thursday night, providing that Smith is out of town and unable to attend. We should all salute DelMar for taking time out from his busy schedule of going to hell in a hand basket to host this event.
This party had better be enjoyable, because the following morning, March 4th, the NFL will temporarily cease to exist and we’re all going to be seriously pissed off. But at least it will be March, and not February. February can’t even spell its own name right. March is a directive. Let’s hope the dodos haggling about the CBA contract get the message.