This site normally ignores events and news that are peripheral to the actual football activities of the 49ers. Stuff like stadium issues, email letters from Jed York, festive fan events, Chuck’s blog, etc. That’s why we didn’t mention the shootings and brawls that happened last Saturday at the 49ers-Raiders game, which brought the PC police out of in force from NFL HQ and generated a ton of national Twitter attention and general media handwringing. But since NoFear brought up the topic Tuesday, with some spurious allegations, we feel compelled to set the record straight.
What really happened was the criminally insane thugs from Oakland, sometimes known more simply as Raider Fans, brought their act to Candlestick Park and produced 70 stadium ejections, 8 police citations, 12 arrests, 10 ambulance runs to the hospital, 19 public intoxications, one half-beaten to death citizen in a bathroom, and two guys shot in the parking lot. This is a normal day for the Raiders and nobody much reports it because it gets mingled in with all the other beatings and muggings and shootings that routinely occur each day in Oakland. But it made news when it occurred over on the west side of the Bay, where people tend to fondle each other in public rather than club one another.
Jed York was crass enough, or clueless enough, to put the blame for the mayhem on the sixteen game season versus the rejected league proposal of an eighteen game season, which would reduce the preseason to two games instead of four. Apparently, Jed feels cutting these practice games in half would only produce 35 stadium ejections, 4 police citations, 6 arrests, 5 ambulance runs to the hospital, 9.5 public intoxications, one quarter-beaten to death citizen in a bathroom, and only one guy shot in the parking lot, and this would be tolerable enough to fly under the PC radar screen. While everyone digests this lunatic pronouncement, the league has forcefully advised the team to just cancel the annual exhibition game between these two Bay Area rivals and see if that was the problem all along. The Raiders certainly won’t mind. It’s one less whipping to endure each year.
A few of you might wonder why somebody was packing heat to a football game. Answer: everybody’s packing heat to everything and anything any more out there in the concealed weapons world around us. You’re going to see the bride and groom draw down on each other any day now. It is no longer recommended behavior to dismiss any annoying citizen with a “Get lost, creep” wave of the hand. The hand that waves back is liable to be holding a bullet launching implement.
I know, I know. Some of you might be thinking snidely, “Geez, this guy will go to any lengths to justify staying home all day and never leaving his mother’s basement. He’s nuttier than Jed York.”
First off, it’s a nice basement, so get off the Oedipal envy snarl. Secondly, it’s Skeebette’s basement, not my mother’s. And thirdly, don’t blame me if you get shot in the guts during your morning jog. You were warned.
On the serious side, SF Police Chief Greg Suhr said the 70 ejections that marked this national outcry event were only up 20 from the 50 ejections that are normal. Weeeellll, no wonder!
Meanwhile, as the world grows increasingly violent, the NFL seeks to lessen the violence on the field — AND THE PLAYERS DON’T LIKE IT! The very guys affected by the morbid realities of kickoff return danger are beefing the loudest about wimping it down via the new 35 yard line kickoff rule. Of course, the league is currently fighting a lawsuit from the old retired players that seeks damages for the damages that playing the game caused to them. The whole thing could be settled by inserting a clause in every NFL player contract that he or she may not sue the league if they are paralyzed or maimed in any way while choosing to participate in a venture that is known to be hazardous to their health. It worked for the tobacco companies, more or less. It can work for the NFL too.
This is Andy Skeeberooney, signing off.