Low on Fuel

 

It was a dark and stormy night.

The above is the legendary opening sentence of Snoopy’s “Great American Novel”. It’s as far as Charlie Brown’s pooch ever got. But it’s further than I’ve gotten in coming up with a topic for the first day of this short, but barren week before two weeks of OTAs and mini-camp begin next Monday.

The “Insider” scribes get to write about the coaches and management when their brains run out of fluid, but Outsiders lack that resource. Phil Barber keeps pulling up odd bits and pieces from around the league to put up short posts on “Inside the 49ers”, but that falls into the category of not only working for a living, but grinding at it – something anathema to the speculative theology and lazy wistful philosophy of this site. Kevin Lynch just disappears with his blunts for a week and leaves the place for boobs like Thnkbg to make themselves at home and quibble endlessly about nothing, giving GeoMak a foil for pontificating even more endlessly about how brilliant he is. Which of these two is more annoying would probably be a toss-up. Maiocco spends a lot of time pimping his CSN sports gig and Barrows does a live chat.

I have to pick my nose and ponder invent, though. While this can’t technically be called work, it does have the element of colossal failure available as a result, so there is some sweat involved. It would have been nice if Berger had coughed up his draft letter to Singletary about the SCO so I could stick it in here, like Dennis and I hinted at him to do, but he was a chicken shit and instead got wasted and puked all over Chuck’s site.

I thought about scoffing at Mike Sando’s prediction that Beanie Wells would emerge as a star player for the Cardinals this year, pointing out that Wells had 79 yards and a 5.5 yd average against the 49ers at the Stick last year as an indication that he was capable of out-dueling Patrick Willis.

It seems to me, harrumph, that while Wells was getting this yardage, the 49ers were clubbing Kurt Warner into retirement and slaughtering the Cardinals’ guts out on national TV, rendering Wells production somewhat akin to garbage time stats. Whisenhunt won’t have Warner this year, so he will definitely give the running game a prime role now, which is how he likes an offense to be anyway. But the Cards offensive line is missing a left tackle, and was not particularly a powerhouse to begin with, benefiting immensely from Warner’s quick decision leadership. They signed a fading Alan Feneca to try and squeeze a year or two of production out of him, but have not done anything else to my knowledge.

In all honesty, though, I can’t say I pay much attention to the Cards, or the Rams & Seahawks either, so discussing them with any insight would be a stretch. “Bad luck Beanie, break a leg” is about as far as I’m willing to go for the moment.

But tomorrow is another day.



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10 comments on “Low on Fuel
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs- I resemble that remark, although, I never puked. Until, Sunday night, but that was intentional. It was the end of my drinking week-end, time for bed, and I needed to jettison some excess fuel!
     
    You’ve got to admit, picking the 8 O-linemen is nothing but a waste of time. Unca does a decent job, usually, but not this time. My comments were much better than his post. It must be tough on you guys this time of year. It helps to have idiots like me around to liven up a dead time! But you are in trouble on that front for a while. I’m not drinking again until Labor Day. It is time to get in shape for the summer.
     
    One more thing, I just discovered how to use the spell check on the Google tool bar. I’m going to try it right now for the first time! I just corrected three words, and then added two sentences!

  2. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Berg, the time period that looks scary is after the last mini-camp until TC actually begins. A full month of nothing happening. The blog world better step up and raise a ruckus about something or I’ll have to hire a strawman to come in here and call me an idiot every other day. Then I can give him the GeoMak treatment.

  3. DennisNo Gravatar says:

    It’s too bad Berger didn’t draft his 49er letter to Singletary this past holiday weekend. That would have been a doozy. What’s that saying about a million monkeys with a million typewriters could write Shakespeare? Well, a million drunk Berger’s with a million typewriters couldn’t write, “See Spot Run.” 馃榾

  4. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    But he can spell “spot” now. Incremental progress.

  5. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Dennis- I’ve discovered a spell check tool for use with the web! Note the difference:

    Before- Cee spto runn.

    After- See spot run.

    It’s amazing. I had a hundred monkeys write the the after! Now I’ve got to feed the bastards.

  6. robNo Gravatar says:

    hey berger , now all you have to do is show lynch how to use the spell-check tool ! maybe you should send him a letter !!! ;D

  7. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Wanted to warn you guys of something. I walked into a drug store yesterday, picked up a package of condoms and asked the pharmacist where the fitting rooms are. He took my condoms away and wouldn’t sell them to me!

  8. robNo Gravatar says:

    skeebs , my compliments on the writing again ! your most recent blog post here is a lot more fun than most of the big name guys !

  9. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    It was a dark and stormy night” is the opening line of “Paul Clifford” written by Edward Bulwer-Lytton.

    He of course is now famous for having bad writing examples named after him.

  10. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Where the hell did that avatar come from?

2021 Schedule
09/12 - 10:00 AM @ DET
09/19 路 10:00 AM @ PHI
09/26 路 5:20 PM v GB
10/03 路 1:05 PM v SEA
10/10 路 1:25 PM @ AZ
10/17 BYE
10/24 路 5:20 PM v IND
10/31 路 10:00 AM @ CHI
11/07 路 1:25 PM v AZ
11/15 路 5:15 PM v LAR
11/21 路 10:00 AM @ JAX
11/28 路 1:25 PM v MIN
12/05 路 5:20 PM @ SEA
12/12 路 10:00 AM @ CIN
12/19 路 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 路 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 路 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 路 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
 
2020 Prognostications (Mulligan Version)
WINNERS:
Bullit: 6-10
NJ49er: 6-10

LOSERS:
Skeebers: 7-9
Winder: 4-12

ABSTAINERS:
Grumpy: DNP
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