It was a dark and stormy night.
The above is the legendary opening sentence of Snoopy’s “Great American Novel”. It’s as far as Charlie Brown’s pooch ever got. But it’s further than I’ve gotten in coming up with a topic for the first day of this short, but barren week before two weeks of OTAs and mini-camp begin next Monday.
The “Insider” scribes get to write about the coaches and management when their brains run out of fluid, but Outsiders lack that resource. Phil Barber keeps pulling up odd bits and pieces from around the league to put up short posts on “Inside the 49ers”, but that falls into the category of not only working for a living, but grinding at it – something anathema to the speculative theology and lazy wistful philosophy of this site. Kevin Lynch just disappears with his blunts for a week and leaves the place for boobs like Thnkbg to make themselves at home and quibble endlessly about nothing, giving GeoMak a foil for pontificating even more endlessly about how brilliant he is. Which of these two is more annoying would probably be a toss-up. Maiocco spends a lot of time pimping his CSN sports gig and Barrows does a live chat.
I have to pick my nose and ponder invent, though. While this can’t technically be called work, it does have the element of colossal failure available as a result, so there is some sweat involved. It would have been nice if Berger had coughed up his draft letter to Singletary about the SCO so I could stick it in here, like Dennis and I hinted at him to do, but he was a chicken shit and instead got wasted and puked all over Chuck’s site.
I thought about scoffing at Mike Sando’s prediction that Beanie Wells would emerge as a star player for the Cardinals this year, pointing out that Wells had 79 yards and a 5.5 yd average against the 49ers at the Stick last year as an indication that he was capable of out-dueling Patrick Willis.
It seems to me, harrumph, that while Wells was getting this yardage, the 49ers were clubbing Kurt Warner into retirement and slaughtering the Cardinals’ guts out on national TV, rendering Wells production somewhat akin to garbage time stats. Whisenhunt won’t have Warner this year, so he will definitely give the running game a prime role now, which is how he likes an offense to be anyway. But the Cards offensive line is missing a left tackle, and was not particularly a powerhouse to begin with, benefiting immensely from Warner’s quick decision leadership. They signed a fading Alan Feneca to try and squeeze a year or two of production out of him, but have not done anything else to my knowledge.
In all honesty, though, I can’t say I pay much attention to the Cards, or the Rams & Seahawks either, so discussing them with any insight would be a stretch. “Bad luck Beanie, break a leg” is about as far as I’m willing to go for the moment.
But tomorrow is another day.