The 49ers have not yet signed their top four choices from the 2010 Draft class. In fact, unless I missed it, not a single first round pick by any team has signed a contract. Newly anointed NFLPA leader DeMaurice Smith blames this tardiness on collusion. Aarrggg! Here we go again.
He meant “by the owners”, but it could just as likely be by the agents. And the more appropriate word could just as easily be “confusion.” Both sides of the contract equation are eyeballing the impact of these contracts being the last ones that will be signed under the current Collective Bargaining Agreement, which expires this year. The owners are hoping it’s the last time they need a Brinks Truck to get a clod from college to lace up his cleats, and the agents are hoping they can squeeze the maximumest moola possible from the gravy train that has come to the end of the line.
This legalese buffoonery of a “lock out 2011” season will dominate the news during this coming season and irritate hell out of all football fans. It’s lawyer time, folks. These strutting, posturing puckermouths will be having their time in the sun this year, and we all know how it will play out. Nothing will get done on a new CBA contract until the very last second possible.
It’s exactly the same as a movie about a guy getting electrocuted at midnight unless the Governor phones in a last second pardon. The clock ALWAYS ticks down to 11:59:59 before the phone rings. Sometimes, it rings at 12:00:01 and they have to bring in the miracle team to revive the guy who’s already got one foot in heaven’s door and probably doesn’t want to come back anymore. Especially not with burned innards and a fried scalp.
WE’VE SEEN THIS MOVIE, YOU KNUCKLEHEADS! But they won’t listen to us. If the press duly reported the various tick-tocks of this ongoing clockdown, it might be tolerable. We could all just yawn. Unfortunately, though, many bloggers are not yet aware of how this whole charade works and will actually get concerned and even ask effing questions about it.
Jaaa-eeeze-zusss. Puleeeeze. It’s going to be horrible. If these bloggers asked me the questions, it could be fun. But they won’t. They’ll ask Maiocco. And he will give them very serious replies. Over and over and over again. C’mon, Matt. You’re a TV head now. Give them a knucklerub. Snort on their sleeves. Anything to shut them up.
Other bloggers, such as the annoying chucklehead Diamondeye, will enjoy hell out of this topic. He’s a definite “suit” guy and this is a “suit” issue. He’ll talk about it lovingly, as though it was a workforce he was laying off from his toy factory. He’ll even try to crack a funny about it, causing everyone’s teeth to wince. The permanently disgruntled old Nofear will not be able to resist chiming in because he’ll actually read the whole current CBA (probably already has read it) and will be armed to the teeth with pertinent facts and phrases to poke pertinent holes in impertinent posters.
I’m pretty much inclined to make this site a “CBA/Lockout Free Zone” this coming year. No peeps or poops about the damn thing. I’m getting it over with today. Spoiler alert! Here’s how the movie ends. A new CBA will be signed and there will be a 2011 Draft and a 2011 season. End of story. Details to come in a thousand articles about what the new deal will mean to life on planet football.
Meanwhile, thankfully the 49ers are one of the last teams to put the pads on for Training Camp. The other teams will have to start the dominoes falling on the draft slot dollars if they want to see their guys in camp, giving the Niners just a wee bit longer to make sure our boys are all signed and in camp ready to rumble.
Are you hearing me Davis & Iupati? Haul buns, guys. The Nutcracker is anxiously awaiting your arrival.