Hick Cups

We’re in the midst of a sporting drought. The Red Sox flicked aside the Cardinals in last fall’s World Series, the Seahawks blew out the Broncos, the Spurs humbled the Heat, the Kings wiped out the Rangers, and the U.S. Open was a four day yawner. Drama, drama, wherefore art thou dramato?

A few folks are evidently interested in something called the World Cup, which features a lot of knobby-kneed idiots running back and forth on a field kicking and head butting a round ball that accidently caroms into a net about once every ten days. When this happens, the idiots all fall on the ground and hump each other deliriously. Not my cup of tea, though most of the world has to settle for it as their sports fix. No wonder everybody wants to live in America.

The blogosphere has just over a month left to correct the 49er coaching problems, until the start of Training Camp 2014 in late July. Will the coaches finally listen or lapse back into their old habits of winning only 75% of the games they play?

It’s beginning to look like whatever hypnotic mojo Mike Singletary injected into Vernon Davis’ brain stem six years ago has finally worn off. Mr. Team Team Team is now referring to himself as a “brand.” This indicates he’s learning his new mojo from business guys who are probably draining the half-wit’s money at a rapid pace. He just sold ten percent of the rest of his life for a mere $4 million this offseason, which you’d expect from a guy who was either desperately low on cash (i.e., had already squandered millions) or had little hope of making much money when his football career ended.

But, Davis talks like a guy who thinks he’s going to build an “empire” around his “brand.” No wonder Singletary had such a profound effect on Davis. His brain is made of putty. Hard to see him on the team when his contract expires in two years. He’s after the money now.

Trent Baalke and Paraag Marthe are apparently running the show at 49er HQ these days, playing racquetball together and giving Jim Harbaugh the old Alex Smith treatment. Not bad for a guy (Baalke) who blew the 2012 draft, netting only a disgruntled punt returner (LaMichael James) and an OG (Joe Looney) who has never played a significant down or factored into any discussion of which backup O-lineman is most ready for some action.

The success or failure of the 2013 draft class depends in large part on the performance this year of two red shirted players: Tank Carradine and Marcus Lattimore. If those two guys can play this game, Baalke’s seat at the power table is secure. If not, the blogosphere will have to spend the next offseason fixing the problems in the front office.

What would the franchise do without us?

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56 comments on “Hick Cups
  1. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Wow! After reading today’s blog post we will probably have a hard time fitting our inflated heads through the doorway!

  2. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    We’re outsiders. We don’t do doorways.

  3. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I’ll need a bigger tent!

  4. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Unless Vernon Davis comes to his senses this could be a long and contentious holdout. This gives the other TEs more reps and a chance to show their skills.
    Vance McDonald needs to step up and show more of what he can do as a receiver and better hands.

    A player to watch is Asante Cleveland a 6’5″ FA TE from Miami.
    The first 2:40 of the video is informative. The balance is recruiting propaganda for the U. Asante Cleveland looks like he knows how to play TE and running option routes.


  5. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Upon further digging Asante Cleveland wasn’t very productive at Miami with very limited stats. He talks a good game, good enough to be featured in a spotlight video.
    He’s very raw but could develop.
    The report on him after he signed on
    Asante Cleveland, TE, Miami

    Cleveland caught a total of five passes over the past two seasons and his lack of production is an obvious concern. He’s intriguing because he has the potential to be a better pro than college player. At 6-foot-4 and 262 pounds, he has the frame to develop into an effective blocker. While he has below average top-end speed, he is a big target with big hands and long arms.

  6. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    If I’m Jed, I’m lining up trade partners right now. If Alex can get what he got, VD’s worth a 1 and a 3 at least. I’d send him to TB where he and Dashon can compare 15′ murals of themselves.

    VD’s an idiot. I’d install V McD, and swap out the slot routes VD runs for Boldin.

  7. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Stebie Wonder HAS to step up to make this work w/o TO Jr.

  8. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    It is now confirmed that VD is a no show and missing this minicamp will cost him $70K.
    Chump change for the VD “brand”.
    He’s making the Vernon Davis Brand look like a selfish bastard’s.

    Boone is also going to play selfish hardball by not showing up too.

  9. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Boone at least has a leg to stand on. He’s underpaid for what he’s brought to the table. Then again, they can move on without him just as well.

  10. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Eric Wright did not show up for the minicamp and Maiocco says he’s thinking about calling it a career and retiring.
    Does this shift the FO’s interest in Brandon Flowers?

    Maiocco says so far Cook is the surprise DB.
    Cook was a team mate at Virginia of CB Ras I Dowling who I thought highly of and is currently with the Pats.

  11. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    Vernon’s larger than life self-portrait is talking to him?

    The off-season free time has allowed him to lapse into delusional daydreams?

    Howsomever, folks that were downright anxious for CK7 to break the bank are sure in a tizzy that another key player wants to cash in.

    Considering that most of those folks want to see an expanded passing game, it’s a bad time to try to do it without the guy it leaned on mightily when Crabs was out.

    Nobody seemed to care when Emmitt held out and not only watched his team lose regular season games but loved it. He wasn’t playing until he got paid more than Thurman and so he did and was cheered for it. Nobody cared when Deion, the prima donna of prima donnas, dismissed his critics with a grinning “business decisions” excuse either. But VD was portrayed in the local press as a selfish grandstander (funny in the world of pro football, no?) and so the fans follow the ass in front of them without question.

  12. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    News flash, skipwad, Kappy DIDN’T cash in. He took a deal monumentally favorable for the TEAM. VD has 2 years left on his deal. I’d trade VD to TB tomorrow.

    What’s the diff, NoFear? Kappy is a top flight QB on a $950,000 deal. VD signed the MOST lucrative contract for a TE back in 2010. Gee, no diff there, skippy. Even you aren’t this stupid are you? The poor guys has scrimped by on the $26 million the 49ers have already paid him. And that’s his current contract. I’m not including the previous one.

    Vernon Davis signed a 5 year / $36.75 million contract with the San Francisco 49ers, including a $10,000,000 signing bonus, $11,112,000 guaranteed, and an annual average salary of $7,350,000.

    Yeah, poor bastard is so underpaid. He and Latrell Sprewell have to look out for their families.

    He’s the 3rd highest paid TE right NOW. Boo F***ing hoo for VD.

    How many times has VD led all TEs in receptions? Yards? How many times has he cracked 1,000 yards? Zip, zilch, nada, squadoosh.

  13. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    And how much do you steal from your employer for blogging all day? Do you lobby for an increase in compensation regularly or do you turn it down because you contribute so little?

  14. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    No sooner do I question the worth of Joe Looney than Harbaugh starts raving about him as a Boone fill-in.

  15. robNo Gravatar says:

    Omg it’s turning into looney land around here

  16. robNo Gravatar says:

    Omg this just in from 49ers webzone roman promies s

  17. robNo Gravatar says:

    Ok well this too lol

  18. robNo Gravatar says:

    Roman promises big changes/new offense! !!!!!!!!!!!

  19. robNo Gravatar says:

    In a peice from cam inman roman promises new offense … a clean out the garage sort of thing

  20. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Sweet music to my ears to hear Roman say we are changing the offense! I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who saw the need for change. Hopefully when he says he cleaning out the garage he is trading in his chariot for a combustible engine vehicle.
    Here is the article that rob was referring to:


  21. rtfireflyNo Gravatar says:

    OMG we CAN’T do that! We might turn the ball over.

  22. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    it’s official. Eric Wright announced his retirement.

  23. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    NoFear reverts to chilkdish non-sequitors when bested at arguing.

    You and Bullitt need to grow up.

  24. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    I do fine at work, thank you very much, NoFear.

    Point anywhere? Or are you just being your little whiny bitch self?

    I’m sorry you can’t discern the difference between the contracts of Colin Kaepernick and Vernon Davis. Glad I could be of help.

  25. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Been hearing that for a while Bergs. I’ll believe it when I see it.

    Good to hear anyway. Wonder what happens with VD. He’s alienating himself from the rest of the team.

  26. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Must be nice to make millions and feel underpaid.
    Only in the NFL.

    I’m surprised at Vernon, especially with the coin he’s already banked.

    He’s got a case IMO.

    Fact remains, in both cases, hold outs cost you money.
    Yeh, it’s a business after all but, Contracts are written and signed as a business agreement.

    The team owns said Contracts.
    This hold out stuff is counter productive at best.

  27. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t want to lose Vernon or Boone but this could be the time to trade them while the return is high. Eagles just got rid of Jackson because he did not buy into the system. Hint, hint.

  28. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    VD is getting 7.5 mil per yr. He is the third highest paid TE in the league. His contract was front loaded so he has already been paid handsomely. If I was the GM I would go to the coach and have a discussion to ask if he wants the extra cap room to sign other players who are buying in. I would expect Vernon to be traded soon. It would be a tough loss but in the cap era the extra money would be nice for signing Iupati and Crabtree and Aldon.

  29. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I’ve seen enough of the Mevis drama out here over the years with the NYJ.
    Sooner or later it divides a locker room.

    I’m all for these guys getting every dime they can from this game but, each guy signed a deal, on which terms were agreed upon.
    Honor the deal, renegotiate when that time comes.

    I love both of these of guys. Solid and durable.

    I just can’t accept the nonsense of Vernon especially, since he’s gotten a fat extension already.

    Boone more or less killed his reputation, and his price tag, with all the intoxicated tirades he perpetrated as a younger, more wild guy.

    He’s cleaned up his act pretty well since then however.

    While I don’t agree with the hold out route, there might be room to maneuver with him, as he is grossly underpaid, except for the fact, that he’s being repped by Mevis’ Agents.

    Good luck with that.
    Gonna be interesting to see how Paraag moves on this one, if at all.

  30. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I’m not sure Vernon’s exact pay. 7.5 mil is not exact I think he is getting closer to about 7.3. Comcast did say he was the third highest paid TE in the league. That is a current number and after being paid all of his front loaded money.

    His brand might be getting a bit too pricy to keep the team’s attitude on track. If the rest of the team learns they can hold out in the middle of a contract, especially one that is front loaded, to get what they want this team would be losing a lot of key players soon. IMO, losing one key player to keep many is worth the trade-off.

  31. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    With the incentives in place, I think he’s getting $7.35 mill. He came into the leaegue on a 5 year/$23 mill deal. With the current deal in place, he’s banked what, something like $44 mill?

    Yeah, got to look out for myself.

    Gee, NoFear. What say you? Hiding again once the heat gets hot? Typical.

  32. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    We could trade Vernon to get what we can but in the long run the best solution is probably to just let him sit and get no money. Since money seems to his biggest motivational factor I doubt he would sit. My opinion is that he would hold out until late camp and then just play when the thought of no money started to weigh heavy on his mind.

    I think the worst thing we could do is give him a raise.

    Maybe a restructuring could be enough to get him to camp? That wouldn’t be more money just a different allocation of funds.

  33. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    I don’t think VD is amenable to anything but more money. I suppose they could work out a 3/$21 deal? Same money but more up front again. But they are pretty firm in their stance. Then again, they said they wouldn’t extend Aldon. The prevailing sentiment there was to extend, and they ended up doing that.

    Prevailing sentiment in the blogosphere is to not set the precedent of extending an extension, so he won’ get his. Now at least.

    Yeah, yer probably right about just letting him dangle til camp. If he doesn’t show, well, adios to the disease. Sit on the sidelines and pout. Then trade him to Jax. next january.

    At this point I’d go out of my way to make Boone a little bit of a priority. But even in his case, the Niners stuck their necks out when he was flailing around in his drunken stupor. They banked on him straightening his life out, and to his benefit, he did. Throw Boone a bone.

  34. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    I’m not sure what you think is heat, Chuck, unless it’s all the hot air you spew. Some fearsome shit, that.

    Davis is not going to sit out. Feel better now? He’s just making noise. You should understand that narcissistic behavior better than most.

    I get a laugh from guys that try to make the rules about which overpaid crybabies should get paid more and which overpaid crybabies are paid enough.

    But continue spewing more of that fearsome hot air about how we’re better off without VD. Turn that heat up!

  35. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    At least you kept on point, skippy II. Progress I suppose. The point is (duh), the FO doesn’t want to set the precedent to re-extend deals they feel are:

    a) still in good standing
    b) have plenty of scratch left
    c) have more than one year left on it

    You lumping Kappy’s deal in with ones like this is obtuse to the nth degree. You’re very welcome.

    I get a huge laugh that you feel you are the final arbiter on who is worthy and who is not based on nothing but your overarching need to stir the pot.

    Your throne as dickish contrarian remains sat upon.

  36. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    And please show me where I say we are better off without him. We should either get what we can while he has maximum value or let him sit if need be. It’s about the team, not him. Will it hurt us? Sure. But what’s the alternative? Cave in? You were the one all pissy about the QB getting his before he even did anything. Premature spewage as usual.

    Thing isa, the Niners can use Boldin in the slot to pick up some of VD’s routes. Other guys need to step up. As I said before. Please try to stay on task here.

    Like Bullit, you fabricate things out of whole cloth and then try to burn the f***er down.

  37. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs, Lattimore may be but an afterthought by week 5. Line depth IS important, which is why Dial is still on the clock, as well as Carradine. J Smith is slow to heal from his shoulder surgery, so he may not be ready til the start of training camp. He”s obviously not going to be the force he once was, so they need these guys to step up.

  38. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Terry Bradshaw needed to be the bigger man here. He failed and now has to live with the public perception because Bradshaw is a public person working in the media. It seems Bradshaw has no excuses because he was in the area.

    Couple of things. The man’s name was Chuck Noll, not Chuck Knoll.
    Second his nickname was never “Ground Chuck”, that was Chuck Knox.

  39. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Something from when the Niners were born

  40. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    The big news in that story is, what the hell is Joe Starkey doing in Pittsburgh? How dare the voice of the Niners leave the Bay Area to do radio in PA! Oh, different Joe. . .

    Anyhow, as far as I can tell, Terry Bradshaw is free to do as he pleases regarding the funreals he chooses to attend. Much like the heat Joe Montana got for not going to the Candlestick thing, are these guys beholden to public perceptions? No. Did I think Joe should have gone? Sure, but I ain’t him, and I’m sure he had his reasons. As did Bradshaw.

    But get on that soapbox and rail at the decisions of others, Bullit.

  41. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Cool link with the programs though.

    Funny how many familiar names there are from that 1946 team. Joe the Toe, Len Eshmont, Frankie Albert, Norm Standlee, and Jesse Freitas. His son Jesse was a star QB at Serra HS.

  42. bullitNo Gravatar says:


    Being on the Fox NFL Show requires Bradshaw to do things correctly in the eyes of the public. I explained that but again you don’t read therefore you don’t understand.
    If he doesn’t show up on TV every Sunday for over 20 weeks than this would be forgotten.

    Joe Montana doesn’t depend on ratings for his paycheck anymore.

  43. robNo Gravatar says:

    Terry bradshaw is a dikk

  44. robNo Gravatar says:

    Sure hope vernon plays theses next couple years! Imo he’s one of our best weapons on offense. Kaepernick would be well served to look hard at vd the next time a game is on the line

  45. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    No it doesn’t. He’s not a politician blowing off another head of state’s funreal. Besides, he doesn’t have a veep to stand in for him. The fact that Bradshaw works for Fox does not obligate him to attend Noll’s funeral. Why in God’s name would you even remotely think that?

    You think Bradshaw gets fired over this?

  46. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Funny. It’s OK for a select few to use racial slurs on Chuck’s blog, but I get slapped on the wrist with the ruler liked I was back sitting in Sr. Madeleine’s class at St. Jerome.

    That’s Catholic dictatorial Fascism at its finest.
    I like it.

  47. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Now I’m gonna go feed my mallards.
    I like that, too.

  48. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Context, skippy. You are completely fried aren’t you?

  49. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Context? I’ll give you a perfect example of context.

    Scenario A: I’m in line at the liquor store and the African-American gentlemen in front of me buys a lotto scratcher and wins a million dollars. The place erupts and he high-fives me and everyone else in excitement. I walk out the store and someone asks me what happened? I say that black guy just won a million dollars.

    Scenario B: I’m in line at the liquor store and that same African-American gentlemen pulls out a gun, robs the clerk and in my attempt to thwart him shoots me in the foot. I limp out of the store and someone asks me what happened? I say that goddamn ni**er just robbed the joint and shot me in the effing foot.

    Those two responses are in perfect context.

    And I don’t know what the hell you mean by fried? I’m tired. It’s a goddamn shame the lack of pride and respect Pinole residents have for their public parks. There’s litter everywhere.

    A goddamn aged alcoholic with compression fractures in his back and two broken feet can only bend down and pick up so much trash.

    Throw your goddamn garbage in the waste container!
    I’m tired.

  50. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    They aren’t. Why didn’t you type the 2 g’s?

    White trash cracker who picks up trash? How ironic . . .

  51. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    ROB is right! Bradshaw IS a dick. But that doesn’t mean he has to attend Chuck’s funeral.

  52. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Berger, I just got done reading all of the comments from the previous thread. Now I’m really tired. “Montana just missed a wide open Solomon in the end zone for a TD. ”

    I’m pretty sure I leaned over my brother who was sitting in Sec 57, Row 5, Seat 8, and punched my Mother in Seat 7 in the goddamn throat. I was so pissed. God rest her soul.


  53. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    “But that doesn’t mean he has to attend Chuck’s funeral.”


  54. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    You know how people look back on their lives and wonder how things would/could have been different if…I wonder if I married Jane instead of Margaret? I wonder if I went to law school instead of just taking up space? I wonder if I moved to Oregon instead of staying in California?

    Those are all decisions you can make. But what about the decisions or actions that others make? I don’t know exactly how it would have been different, but my life would have been completely different if…

    Dwight Clark doesn’t make “The Catch.” Niners history would have been totally rearranged. And mine right along with it. Just a matter of fingertips.

  55. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Anyone else getting caught up with the World Cup? I was telling Berger earlier how all these dumb Yanks are betting on the red, white and blue and getting only 10/1 here in the states while across the pond our true odds are closer to 100/1.

    The U.S. winning the World Cup? Ha. Alex Smith will be named Super Bowl MVP before that happens.

  56. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

2021 Schedules
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10L
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05: L Seahawks 30, 49ers 23 12/12 · 10:00 AMCIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17