Happy Glooming

The last time there was an in season coaching change for the 49ers was two years ago when Mike Nolan was fired and Mike Singletary became interim HC. The team’s initial response to this upheaval was a lifeless beat down AT HOME by the Seahawks. The infamous self-de-pantsing at half time game. The one where a now equally infamous “rat” made his first ghostly appearance somewhere in the rafters of 4949 Centennial Blvd.

I bring this up to prepare myself for Sunday’s game ON THE ROAD against the Atlanta Falcons. It’s been my experience in life that occasionally the only way to will your team to victory from your living room couch is to convince yourself that there is no chance whatsoever that they will win. When Sunday arrives, I’ll be ready to accept defeat as soon as the coin is tossed to start the game.

If the score is 21-0 eight minutes into the first quarter, I’ll just be shrugging, giving it the know-it-all blase knew this would happen attitude. Watching the game won’t be difficult. It’ll be like observing an autopsy. “Hmmm. Removing the heart here, I see. Tiny little sucker. Whats’ next?” Taking a detached retina peek at new OC Mike Johnson’s offense. Making a calm assessment about what he’s doing different than Jimmy Raye. Heck, all he has to do is keep Moran Norris off the field and I’ll chalk this game up as a plus.

It will be a day for couch observation comments like, “What do you know, we completed a pass. Amazing.” Or, “Not bad. We actually kept them from scoring on that drive. At least we made them punt once today.”

I’ll be dressed to the hilt with There’s No Way We Can Win This Game armor. If the score is still tied by the end of the first quarter, I’ll be shaking my head and saying, “Unbelievable luck, Niners. Get ready to be killed.”

If the team makes it to halftime and is still in the game, I’ll drag out the “At least we weren’t totally embarrassed today” victory in defeat attitude. During halftime, I’ll prepare myself by holding an inbrain neuron betting pool for the exact moment the team will suddenly collapse and be routed mercilessly in the second half. First Falcons drive? Second? Third? It’s gotta come soon.

If the Niners somehow start the 4th quarter anywhere within a touchdown of the lead, I’ll be pounding the table with “You bastards. You can’t fool me. You’ll choke this baby in a heartbeat. C’mon, you egg layers, show your true selves here. Knock off the false hope baloney.”

If the game gets to the two minute warning and we still have a chance to win, I’ve already got my sure fire once-in-awhile “fan victory producer when victory is not possible” action ready to go. I’ll turn off the TV. Eff you, Niners. I’m not watching you blow this game in the last two minutes. No way. You can’t suck me in. I’ll take a nice early afternoon walk now and check back to watch the afternoon game and see the loss posted in the scores of other games inset. Ready for the “See. I knew it. They lost.”

IF, however, there is a WIN posted on the screen, I will smile humbly to myself and say, “Whadda ya know. It worked. I did it. I won this game for the Niners. Hahaha. I wonder if they know the victory is all because of me.”

Then I will find some way on earth to get a replay of that last two minutes. Oh yeah.



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19 comments on “Happy Glooming
  1. robNo Gravatar says:

    i say we pull the upset …
    and make a game of it !

    49ers 20
    atlanta 27

  2. TonyNo Gravatar says:

    hahahahahahaha…good stuff Skeebs…thats exactly what ive done a few times…well except, replace the walk with getting a pizza 😉

  3. TonyNo Gravatar says:

    Seriously, I have a good feeling about this game… go Niners!!

  4. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I feel we can keep this game within 20 points.

  5. robNo Gravatar says:

    LOL

    you gotta love berger’s optimism !

  6. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    As concerened as I am with the offense, this game comes down to keeping up with their very fast team. Something that didn’t work out at all last year on our (slow) turf.

    On their fake grass, the speed issue is even greater. The pass rush from the base D, which so far has beenn underwhelming, needs to get in Ryan’s face, or the pitch and catch will kill the Niners.

  7. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Another thing that would help is to tackle a WR after a short pass instead of going for the int and allowing a 90 yd TD.

  8. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah, Clements HAS to stay home . . . Mays needs to be in there as well. If anything, he’s got the speed to catch these guys from behind.

  9. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah, that was the ballgame right there last year. The Niners had gotten back to make the score 14-10, and had Atl pinned at the 10 facing 3rd and 10. What should have been an 8 yard pass that forced a punt turned into a back breaking 90 yard TD. . .

  10. robNo Gravatar says:

    OUR DEFENSE has been biting and jumping on every first move and first look they see ! IMO the guys are trying TOO hard to make something happen !
    i want an agressive defense , but the problem i see so far is that the secondary looks like they’re trying to do too much (i tad too agressive ), but with the front seven , i hardly ever see a stunt or enough blitzes , or even enough attempts to take advantage of the fact that willis is almost unstoppable even on pass-rushes ! (imo this is where we should be MORE agressive !)

  11. bigtimNo Gravatar says:

    that was a sick example of the Clements over aggressive approach to covering receivers,I clearly remember yelling at the TV make the tackle!!then watching the RAC down the field for the score bad stuff.
    I am only going to subject myself to the first half,and then go to the Giants game to hopefully watch the victory lap against the pods, going tonight as well, it would be nice to see at least one SF team make a playoff appearance,the way the 9ers are playing my hopes for there turn is dimming with each passing game.
    soon the fire Singletary chants will become a loud roar after another game in the loss column if the team wins it may postpone the inevitable dismissal of another HC unless the team and namely Mike Johnson can inspire a offense to perform up to the level the fans expected at the start of the season.
    and help the defense get some blows to perform better at this point the whole team is not getting it done.

  12. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Would winning a game be too aggressive?

  13. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    You’ve seen the last of Michael Lewis. Give him a Mike Johnson dress as a parting gift. Rats+ship+water=jump.

  14. robNo Gravatar says:

    ” Would winning a game be too aggressive ”

    ” You’ve seen the last of Michael Lewis. Give him a Mike Johnson dress as a parting gift. Rats+ship+water=jump. ”

    you guys are NOT funny !

    mike lewis has more than you think in common with hacksaw reynolds , and winning a game has more than we can hope for to do with the coordinators involved …

    or as bill walsh himself said when asked

    ” what seperates the every day coaches from the great coaches “?

    he said …

    “the coaches he has for his
    offensive and defensive coordinators” !

  15. delmardennisNo Gravatar says:

    Rob, I wasn’t kidding. Lewis missed practiced and is not making the trip to Atlanta. He’ll be making no more trips. He’s done with the Niners. This team is a mess.

  16. robNo Gravatar says:

    DENNIS !

    if that’s the case than lewis is out as starter and my boi’s reggie smith and mays are in . imo we did the right thing , but were a little heavy handed in the way we handled it ! (and on a side note , pay no attention to my last post on chuck’s blog ! ;))
    it’s been pretty clear for a while and even more painfully so since the pre-season that lewis has lost even the other half step he still had when he came here , and is becoming even more of a sore thumb vs. the pass !
    imho we could / should have let him (save face ) by being called the ‘starter’ on 1st downs/run downs , while going more and more with the youngsters thereafter … ( just like i was saying we should of course)
    imo lewis has now gone into damage mode , and is trying his best (and who can blame him )
    to try and position himself for just ONE more contract at starter type money !

    in any case … all we say now of course is

    go niners

    and

    umm that

    going forward …

  17. robNo Gravatar says:

    oh , DENNIS , and btw there are a few more positions where we need to do the same thing as i outlined at SS .
    like spikes vs. bowman

    and others too !

    😀

  18. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    All the writers are trying to spin the Lewis bail out as a Niners spinning out of control drama rather than another chump who quit on his team and immediately hauled out his agent to put an honorable spin on a dishonorable action.
     
    Maybe the team is falling apart, but why do quitters like Coffee and Lewis and Balmer get portrayed as upstanding guys? Ulbrich got demoted and just went down the hall to the ST room to volunteer and helped out mentoring Willis. These three went to their rooms to sulk. Nothing respectable about that. If this is an example of Lewis being a “respected team leader”, then maybe his “leadership” wasn’t worth much.

  19. unca chuckNo Gravatar says:

    It’s because Singletary talks ‘be a man’ “I’m a straight shooter’ No bullshit. Ther are ‘reports’ that Lewis and Spikes will be benched. Sing says no, that isn;t true. Then he says well, yeah, yer losing playing time, guys. This happens ONE DAY after telling Raye that he’s the OC Sunday night, and fired Tuesday morning.

    Either Sing is waffling wildly, or the decisions aren’t his. Either way, he doesn;t look like he’s practicing what he preaches.

2020 Schedule
9-13: L Cardinals 24, 49ers 20
9-20: W 49ers 31, Jets 13
9-27: W 49ers 36, Giants 9

10-4: L Eagles 25, 49ers 20
10-11: L Dolphins 43, 49ers 17
10-18: W 49ers 24, Rams 16
10-25: W 49ers 33, Patriots 6

11-1: L Seahawks 37, 49ers 27
11-5: L Packers 34, 49ers 17
11-15: L Saints 27, 49ers 13

BYE

11-29: W 49ers 23, Rams 20

12-7: L Bills 34, 49ers 24
12-13: L Washington 23, 49ers 15
12-20: L Cowboys 41, 49ers 33
12-26: W 49ers 20, Cardinals 12

1-3: L Seahawks 26, 49ers 23

2020 Draft Class
1. DT Javon Kinlaw, South Carolina
1. WR Brandon Aiyuk, Arizona State
5. OL Colton McKivitz, West Virginia
6. TE Charlie Woerner, Georgia
7. WR Jauan Jennings, Tennessee
 
2020 Prognostications (Mulligan Version)
WINNERS:
Bullit: 6-10
NJ49er: 6-10

LOSERS:
Skeebers: 7-9
Winder: 4-12

ABSTAINERS:
Grumpy: DNP
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