Eye In The Sky

The NFL has decided that all locker rooms be equipped with video cameras next year. This will allow fans who attend games, and not the home viewing audience, to be legalized peepers on their iPads or iPhones, both before the team takes the field and at half time. My first thought was, “I’m glad Charles Haley is retired.”

Haley’s first thought probably was, “Shit. I retired too soon.”

For those of you who don’t drown yourself in NFL folklore, Haley was a guy who liked to walk around waving his wing-wang just about anywhere — locker rooms, meeting rooms, visiting your mother-in-law — you name it, he had it out there. Quite often giving it the old rub-a-dub while on display. As you can surmise, his wand was really, really big — Milton Berle big. I suppose this comes under the category of “If you got it, flaunt it” and Haley had it, so it was flaunted. Amen.

Apparently, the NFL feels this sort of prurient lure will help nudge people off the couch and into the stadiums. At the mega-prices charged for tickets these days, it seems like a bit of a stretch. Then again, rich people are kinky. You never know.

Initially, I’m sure there will be RULES OF BEHAVIOR. But we all know that in five years there will be scantily clad hot babes in there handing out small towels to uncladded hot hunks and maybe some fuzzy photo whoops! bleep outs of certain torso parts — or maybe not! This is in-stadium viewing, and not subject to prime time restrictions, so maybe not indeed.

Sex and violence. A winning combo for the future. Now, if the NFL can get a few more guys actually killed on the field, we’ll have NASCAR on the gridiron!

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42 comments on “Eye In The Sky
  1. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Anthony Davis has signed a five-year extension with 49ers, worth $37.3 million, including $17 million in guaranteed money.

  2. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Interesting that they’ve re-upped Davis, but not yet Iupati, his draft mate in 2010.

  3. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I would imagine they are working on the Iupati deal right now. IMO, the purpose of these early extensions are to pay less now than if the player hits the open market. I think some players would rather hit the open market.

  4. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Like Goldson.

  5. BergerNo Gravatar says:


  6. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Personally I am going to be amused to see Dashon spend a few years in Tampa Bay, and never getting back to the playoffs. Some people want to win. Some just want to get paid. I know which I’d rather see on our team.

  7. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Charles Woodson was on NFL AM this morning and said he spent a day with the Niners at their facility 3 weeks ago and they let him get away.
    That ship has sailed, so there’s little chance he’ll be a Niner

  8. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Last I heard, Woodson had no other offers. I think the 49ers viewed him as a fallback position if they could not upgrade the secondary with someone else. Asomugha pretty much closes that door. If we have any success getting some DBs, particularly safeties, in the draft, it will be a done deal. If the board breaks wrong and we do not draft a viable safety, there is still a slim chance we sign him later for a smaller amount of money.

  9. NoFear49erNo Gravatar says:

    Grumpy, I think the Niners did everything except say outright, “Dashon, we don’t want you here.”
    I know I’ve changed jobs for a lot less of a pay increase (compared to his rumored offer). Not to mention the longer term deal he’s wanted.
    The Chicago Bears are full of guys who chose the team over getting paid. (Except for Cutler, that is) They don’t win and the loyal underpaid players/coaches eventually get kicked to the curb there, too. Loyalty is not worth a bucket of warm piss in Goodell’s NFL.
    “Every time I call it a game you call it a business, and every time I call it a business you call it a game.”
    -J. Matuszak

  10. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    Who needs Charles Woodson when you have Craig Dahl?
    “Just take out enough to win the bet Uncle Miltie.” Did you know? Milton Berle lost his virginity at the age of 12 to a Broadway showgirl. Dear old Uncle Miltie was reported to have affairs with such notable stars as: Nancy Davis (former First Lady Nancy Reagan), Veronica Lake, Lucille Ball, a very young Marilyn Monroe and Hedy Lamarr. “That’s HEDLEY!”

  11. Del Mar DennisNo Gravatar says:

    “North Dallas Forty” just maybe the BEST football movie ever made. Great quote there, NoFear.

  12. unca_chuckNo Gravatar says:

    I think the owners have something to do with that as well, NoFear.

  13. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Call me crazy but I love having NoFear back! Now we need 12th too! So I often disagree with these coots, that has never bothered me. Aren’t blogs about discussion? Welcome back NoFear! Alex Smith is better than Carson Palmer!

  14. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    I’m doing a little drinking and loving some music. Been playing Collective Soul. May I share a couple favorites:

  15. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Korey- I’m sure rob will open your url.

  16. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    If he didn’t, he’s lost his chance. So long, Korey.

  17. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Hey Berger, this one’s for you…

  18. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    NJ- That was a surprising article. That makes it so I would not be upset if we draft Jenkins. I still have my reservations but I’m not seeing him as a Kentwan Balmer anymore. Thanks for the info.

  19. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    That sounds encouraging, NJ. The interview will be critical for that kid though. Is he the kind that will slack off again once he is drawing a paycheck, or will stay with the program? He has some ‘splaining to do.

  20. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    bullit- Nice song. My favorite Lightfoot song is the one about the Edmund Fitzgerald.

  21. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    rob- Bonamassa has to be the best blues/rock guitarist around!

  22. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    SF Giants are getting their World Series Rings right now before their game. Just in case you weren’t watching.

  23. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Berger he’s always been a beast against the run.
    Prototypical NT IMO.
    I’m a little disappointed he’s slimmed down but, I’m impressed with his attitude toward the position.
    Grump, he’s had some issues related to classwork as I recall.
    That UGA Defense was one of the best in the Country.
    We’ll see what happens.
    I’m all in for that ‘Fat Man in the Middle’, he’s large enough to carry 350 I think.

  24. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Another guy that played on that UGA DL was DE Abry Jones.
    He’s not a bad option either.
    Good depth to shop in this year.

  25. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    NJ- I still won’t get excited about Jenkins. I watched him play twice and never saw anything but him being pushed back. They say he stands up double teams but I did not see it in the two games I watched. Your post just made it so I won’t be pissed if we draft him. I can’t imagine taking Jenkins over Jesse Williams.

  26. robNo Gravatar says:

    I’M pretty confident in our front office ! imho they’ll get us some good help at both D-line and FS ! for me hankins and williams might be there for us on the line , and elam and cyprien at safety look like good possibilities !

  27. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I’m advocating for Jenkins as an option Berger.
    Jesse is my top DT.
    Jenkins my top NT.
    The Draft game is all about right guy/right Slot.

  28. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    It’s damn near impossible to predict, especially now with the Rookie Cap inviting Trade ups.
    I see Jesse as a bonafide heir to Justin.
    What I’d like to see is Baalke bringing a guy like Jenkins into the rotation.
    Another guy worth consideration is Brandon Williams.
    He’s more of a penetrator however.
    Good news is, there is a ton of talent, we won’t have to reach.
    Just hoping for the right guys to be there for us.
    Eric Reid is my target at 31.
    Maybe see Jesse at 34?

  29. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    If we miss on Jesse, Brandon Williams might be an option later down the Board?
    If I was any good at slotting, I’d be getting paid like Baalke.
    I stack a Board and look for guys I think would fit our Scheme.
    We’ll all find out what Baalke has in mind soon enough.
    I just enjoy the process.

  30. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Only Baalke and Harbaugh know what the ‘Real Board’ looks like at this point.
    Guys like me try to predict what’s coming.
    Damn near impossible.

  31. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Wouldn’t rule out a DE at 31 either if the right guy gets to us.
    Plenty of ways to go of course.
    Crabtree fell into our lap, who knows what other surprises can occur?

  32. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Here’s my Draft Board for the NT position –
    NT –
    John Jenkins – UGA
    Montori Hughes – TN Martin
    Brandon Williams – MO Southern St

  33. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Brandon Williams put up more reps at the Combine than any other DLineman too.
    He’s a little smaller than I’d like but, he moves well (at 335Lbs) and has a high motor.
    Justin-like IMO.
    Might not be my ideal ‘Fat Man’ but I like his measureables.

  34. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Watch out for the British Discus Thrower Lawrence Okoye.
    He’s making a bid for the NFL.
    Freakish size and athleticism.
    What, with us playing across the pond this year, he’d be an excellent trophy piece for Dr York’s efforts to help Roger sell the NFL to Europe I’d say.

  35. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    He’s much younger, (and even more raw at football), than Margus Hunt.
    Could be worth a Pick, as we have plenty to burn.
    Line him up at DE and see if he can nail the QB.

  36. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

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2021 Schedules
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10L
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05: L Seahawks 30, 49ers 23 12/12 · 10:00 AMCIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17