The 49ers can just about lock up a playoff spot with a victory over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Sunday morning. Arizona has a date in Seattle the following week, an almost sure defeat, which would leave them two games behind and a loser in the tie breaker category. There’s no way Detroit, Chicago, and Dallas all sweep their remaining three games.
The final two 49er games would then be meaningful only if the Panthers lose a week from now to the Saints and the 49ers wanted to get the fifth seed instead of the sixth. If they pulled that off, however, it would mean taking a six game winning streak into the postseason and needing to run it up to a ten game winning streak to capture the Lombardi. A bit unlikely. It might be better to rest the starters in the season finale against Arizona.
Florida teams have perked up lately, with Miami contending for a playoff spot, Jacksonville riding a three game winning streak, and Tampa roaring into this game on a one game streak. They’re 4-1 since an 0-8 start and running QB Josh Freeman out of town and replacing him with Warm Body. The team has been battling the dreaded staff infections this year, which haven’t been mentioned lately, but it would be wise for the 49ers to send a Hazmat squad into the visitor’s locker room before allowing the players inside.
Embattled Bucs HC Greg Schiano seems to be off the hot seat these days, temporarily. He’s one of those guys that nobody likes because he’s basically an asshole and a liar. He’s a jerk, too, if anyone is interested in the full story.
Ex-49er DB Dashon Goldson is playing for the Bucs this year, which is good for the Niners and Schiano says he’s been good for the Bucs, too. But Schiano is a liar, like I said, so it’s not like we have to believe a word he says. Coaches don’t normally tell the truth anyway, although most are just harmless fudgers, as opposed to outright liars. It’s a murky area that only astute idiots would give a shit about.
Last week’s victory over the Seahawks was an emotional blockbuster for the team, so it would not be a stretch to assume they could come out flat against the Bucs, especially with the 1:00am 1:00pm East Coast starting time, which astute other type of idiots realize is 10:00am out here in the West. It probably won’t matter, because the Bucs don’t have much of a dangerous offense. Their defense is pretty good, but we should score enough to stagger home with a win.
Last weekend’s weather was insane, making for some fun viewing. There’s nothing that warms one up quite like watching a bunch of guys staggering around for three hours in a blizzard. This weekend probably won’t be as charming, certainly not in Tampa Bay, but we should be able to see the pain on a lot of players’ faces as their playoff hopes get extinguished. That’s always good viewing. We’re definitely entering the sudden death area of the 2013 season. Time to stock up on the popcorn — and for those of you not on the wagon or unduly committed to a Christian way of life, time to restock the bar!