The 49ers have been shopping for WRs and CBs the past few days without much success.
Apparently, WRs aren’t particularly enchanted about being the 3rd WR on a team that hardly ever uses more than two. This might put a bit of a dent in the notion that WRs aren’t exactly a brainy bunch of humanoids. There’s also the stark reality of Mario Manningham, the previous 49er 3rd WR, who managed to go from playoff hero to invisible man in just two short years. I had yet to see his name mentioned in the daily ticker tapes of available FA WRs until late Sunday, when he surfaced as part of the scrap heap availabilities.
The team has had more success in attracting CBs, signing former Viking Chris Cook. I use the term “success” here a bit loosely, in that it is derived from comparing Cook to NOBODY. Cook looks like a big CB, has long arms, and lots of speed, but he was just about the worst CB in the league last year. Signing him has to fall into the category of Training Camp Body. Or, the more kindly term in fashion this offseason, reclamation project, joing fellow enrollees Blaine Gabbert, Eric Wright, and Jonathan Martin.
Speaking of brainy WRs, former Panther Steve Smith actually said, after signing with the Ravens, that he was a “complementary dude.” This statement indicates Smith has been in the league long enough for the world to pass him by and he should probably just retire now and join all of us bloggers, who have seen several worlds pass us by.
We haven’t heard much from Colin Kaepernick so far this offseason, which is good. Last year he was all over the map, educating us ignoramuses about his “swag.” It sounded to this world passed by reporter like some new breed of “schtick,” but I hesitate to misremember it properly. At any rate, it’s not been visible this year.
No, this is Russell Wilson’s offseason of over-coverage. He’s been posing as a Texas Ranger baseball player, tip-toeing down the road traveled by Michael Jordan, Deion Sanders, and Bo Jackson. Wilson seems to be a likable guy, in a boring corporate sort of way. I doubt we’ll be seeing him nude on a magazine cover, which is fine. Once was enough on that cheesecake.
The musical chairs of free agency continue this week, but what little drama remains will no doubt be dwarfed by the annual college basketball tournament. Not here, though. We’ll continue to keep an eye on the oblate spheroid and leave the round ball afficionados to their own hyperbolic world.