Pucker Up And Blow

It’s generally assumed the 49ers will have a very good year in 2012. Heck, this site gooped as much just last Friday. But one thing the 2012 season won’t have is the amazed glee the 2011 season provided. The 2011 club came out of the black and blue of a 6-10 season and several years of failed expectations to run off a stunning eight game winning streak that put a goofy grin on the faces of the entire Bay Area.

But innocent joy is fleeting on planet earth. The 2012 team will be expected to run off an eight game winning streak. And even if they do, it won’t make us as happy as the 2011 streak did.

However, expecting to win each game is a whole lot more fun than dreading the result of half the games on the schedule. There’s no team in either conference that can step onto the field now and know it can beat us.

Not much happening these days. The first OTA is still a week away, but Jim Harbaugh doesn’t let anybody watch these practices, so there’s not a lot we’re going to know about them.

Harbaugh has also screwed up the post-draft blog dialogue by doing such a great job last year that nobody has any beefs about his coaching. When Mike Nolan and Mike Singletary were in charge, there was always lively debate about their relative degrees of suckitude. When it came to coaching, Singletary was more sucky. When it came to leadership, Nolan was suckiest. And they were both so suckinfested that they brought the level of the players down to where a lot of them got caught in the suckmuck, too.

It was Suck City paradise.

May as well throw Scot McCloughan and Greg Manusky into the suck pot while we’re stirring up old memories. McCloughan gets a lot of credit for Nolan’s drafts, but the two he ran on his own — 2008 & 2009 — were Airport I and Airport II. Without the laugh track. Manusky generally had a good rep, managing to portray himself as hamstrung by Nolan’s defensive philosophies, but when freed to run his own show in San Diego last year, he laid an egg and got canned.

The common denominator to all the wonderful suck years was, of course, Nolan. He brought in the entire gang of blog fodderemuses. Paraag Marthe had a share of the blame, too, for coming up with the computer model that determined Nolan would be a successful head coach. In the end, what Nolan accomplished was serving up a terrific pile of suckatosh for the launching of the hungry 49er blog world in 2007. That trough has been full for five years. But it’s down to a few scraps now and the blogs are facing their first health crisis.

The only guy left from the lush years of blog discord is our hero, Alex Smith. Smith was so good as a pulse pounder that he led the blogs in nasty give and takes even while on IR for two years. It was like he never stopped playing, which is probably why a few bloggers can never remember he didn’t. Even Smith’s suck factor has dwindled, though, with the ridiculously fine year he had in 2011.

Let’s face it. All we got now is Kyle Williams. That’s not even a light snack. We’ve got two and a half months of happy talk staring us in the face. Where have you gone, Terry Donahue? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you. Whoo hoo hoo, ooo ooo, whoo hoo hoo.

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50 comments on “Pucker Up And Blow
  1. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    Just glad to have high expectations once again Skeebs.
    Makes watching the 9ers FUN again.

  2. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    NJ- Well said.

  3. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    If anybody wants to watch the stadium getting built the team has put a live web cam up for viewing. It can be accessed through the web site.

  4. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    NoFear and V were recently seen on-site milling around dejectedly . . .

  5. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Oh please, NoFear, regale us with tales of Mike Nolan’s greatness. Or Joe, or Eddie, or Bill . . . I mean, we all lived that era. No need to bring it up at every turn.
    Harbaugh didn’t bring all the players. No one here has even intimated that. You have to inject your simplistic view of anything that isn’t negative about the team is smoke being blown up the collective ass of everyone at 4949 Centennial Blvd. I suppose we should all be pissed off that the expectations of the fans AND team are now raised. It’s better to spin in mediocrity so you can lament the past.
    I mean, what’s your f***ing end-game, skippy? We should hope for Smith to fail so we can move on? Despite last year’s 14-4 record? No one anywhere thinks that would be a prudent idea.
    Shit, Soap came from Donohue. Many came from Scotty McNolatary. BUT, Harbaugh’s the only one to WIN with them. What’s the key word in that sentence, sport?
    You need to grow a sense of humor as well as a little perspective, pal. It’s all fun and games here until you get involved. Can you say anything good about the team? Ever? We’ve all had times when we were frustrated about the progress, or lack thereof, made by the team at various times. You cling to the negative like it’s a cold, wet blanket.

  6. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    That being said, the TEAM is hedging their bet with Smith. Happy, skippy?

  7. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    God I love internet debates.
    “Jane, You Ignorant Slut.”

  8. robNo Gravatar says:

    omg BERGER wins the most rabid fan award ! (sorry bullit)

    but did i just see a link posted where you can
    “watch the stadium being built”

  9. robNo Gravatar says:

    Posted on May 13, 2012 at 4:00 am by Al Saracevic in

    Jim Harbaugh got the boys back together this past week, and it was an impressive sight.

    There was a decided confidence and swagger surrounding the 49ers as they gathered in Santa Clara for some light workouts. Scanning the field, you could see marquee NFL players at most every position. What used to be a tense workplace, run by taskmasters Mike Singletary and Mike Nolan, has turned into a professional football factory.

    It’s still remarkable to think what CEO Jed York, GM Trent Baalke and Harbaugh have achieved in such a short time. The sounds of a new stadium being built across the street rattle around the 49ers’ practice facility, intermingling with the sounds of a solid team being built on the field.

    The assembled weapons of San Francisco’s offense could be seen running under long throws from newcomer Josh Johnson, quarterback-in-waiting Colin Kaepernick and incumbent Alex Smith. There was Randy Moss, hauling in a 50-yard bomb. There was Kyle Williams, trying to run down a Johnson heave and exclaiming, “God, he’s got an arm!” Michael Crabtree and Moss could be heard jabbering across the field. And Vernon Davis was in the middle of it all, reminding everyone that he is the man. Wait until rookies A.J. Jenkins and LaMichael James and veteran Brandon Jacobs join this crew.

    The offensive linemen were off to the side, pushing the sled and looking massive. Mike Iupati, in particular, stood out as a giant among giants. He has cut his hair, tightened up his upper body and looks every bit the Pro Bowler. Starting tackle Joe Staley looked loose and fit, alternating between goofing off and pounding the sled. And Alex Boone, the team’s swing tackle the past two seasons, was taking reps at right guard, a position that’s his for the taking. Boone, 6-feet-8, 302 pounds, later told us he needs to put on 20 pounds to withstand the hand-to-hand rigors of playing guard. Can you imagine that?

    Across the way, the defensive linemen were involved in a unique drill, new to camp this year. They had boxing gloves on and were pounding away at targets held up by their coaches. There was Isaac Sopoaga, the enormous 330-pound tackle, pounding the pads. There was Ray McDonald doing the same.

    But it wasn’t until Justin Smith stepped into the ring that everyone stopped and turned around. The Missouri monster, in his 12th year, starting popping the gloves with jabs and hooks in rapid succession, creating a sound that echoed across the field. It was like watching Mark McGwire take batting practice back in the day. It made a different sound than everyone else.

    Over with the d-backs, balls were flying and players were yapping. At one point, you could see Donte Whitner drop down to the ground and knock out 20 quick pushups, showing the veteran drive that has made him an undisputed team leader.

    And in the middle of it all was Harbaugh, running up and down the field with the players, barking orders and generally looking as if it was Christmas morning. You couldn’t imagine anyone loving football practice more than Harbaugh.

    And you couldn’t imagine coming into this season with more confidence than the San Francisco 49ers have. What that season will hold is anyone’s guess. But for now, it feels as though no one’s got it better than the 49ers.

  10. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    “Dan, you pompous arrogant blowhard . . .”

  11. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Video from today’s session @ Santa Clara


  12. phil fanNo Gravatar says:

    Do I spy an internet food fight in the offing? Haven’t had one all week. Some are pretty entertaining with witty put-downs and insults. If brevity is the soul of wit then pith must be the heart of a cut.
    So pith on you! You lumpy container of worthless cow pies.

  13. NJ49erNo Gravatar says:

    I work with a Philly Fan Phil, this Blog crap is a pillow fight for the most part.
    I can say this, Philly Fans suck and swallow.
    Nothing but bravado about all the titles they’re ‘Gonna’ Win, no matter the sport.
    Eagles were the paper champions last preseason.
    I listened to Mr Macho over here every effn night with the Dream Team Secondary schtick.
    Then, when the preseason SB Champs look like an expansion team, all they have left is ‘Fire Andy Reid’ banter ad nauseum.
    Loved that their Eagle radio host (douchebag),Howard Eskin was gonna walk to SF if they lost to us last year too.
    Never heard much from him after that game did we?
    I enjoy watching those moron fans crash and burn and implode on themselves.
    Quite entertaining.

  14. robNo Gravatar says:

    pretty accurate and fair niners preview here

    ” Key losses: WR Joshua Morgan.

    Key additions: WR Randy Moss, WR Mario Manningham, WR A.J. Jenkins, RB LaMichael James, QB Josh Johnson.

    Forecast: The best defense in the league and arguably the best roster top-to-bottom too. The offense wasn’t good enough on third down or in the red zone last season to reach the Super Bowl. So, the front office added four playmakers whom they hope will improve the Niners third-down and red-zone offense from awful to good enough. But the young and unproven right side of the offensive line (RG Daniel Kilgore and RT Anthony Davis) cannot be the weak link this season – they must mature quickly and hold their own, or else Vernon Davis and Moss and Mannigham will never get the ball. If the offensive line holds up, the level of success of the entire offense will fall squarely on Alex Smith’s shoulders. Can he consistently move the chains, especially in the playoffs? If he can, the Niners can win the Super Bowl this season. If he can’t, his backup deserves a shot.”

  15. robNo Gravatar says:

    i’m happy to see alex boone getting a shot at G ! he might turn out to be pretty darn good there !

  16. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Rob throws in the towel on Chilo Rachal love.

  17. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    As I recall, when I predicted Alex Boone to be the guy we would look at for RG, I was ridiculed about it by NoFear. He went with Chilo Rachal, who wasn’t even on the roster. I commented then that this is why NoFear does not usually make predictions. There was a typical NoFear response of letting somebody know they know nothing about football. NoFear, aka The Central Scrutinizer, had struck again.

  18. phil fanNo Gravatar says:

    Well said NJ. AT least you have the good taste to be a Niner fan in the wilderness that is Philly. Man they are one pack of suffering fools- and losers. I do remember that crowing about the Dream Team and the DJ who was gonna walk to SF. I guess that’s showbiz but it’s so much finer to have a good team again plus the legacy of Dynasty I.
    BTW Rob if Chilo is a a big bad Bear now he must be the widdow Cub of the group : )

  19. phil fanNo Gravatar says:

    Boone’s a scrapper with a nasty attitude. Mean as a bear (sorry rob). I loved what he said about playing G- ‘it’s much more violent than T- I love it’. Also he mentioned needing to gain 20 lbs so he could stand up to the defenders in that RG spot.

  20. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    There is a story in PFT that the Rams are aking for improvements to the Edward Jones Dome that will cost $700 million. Now that’s crazy beacuse they can build a new facility for $200 million more. Facelifts to old structures are bandaids.

    Actually it appears the Rams are posturing to be in position to move back to LA. Would be great for the Niners to renew the rivalry and eliminate a long road trip from a divison team which is thousands of miles away.

  21. bullitNo Gravatar says:

    Yesterday was Frank Gore’s Birthday. He turned 29.
    Happy Birthday Frank and here’s wishing you have a healthy All Pro season in 2012!

  22. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    When the Rams moved from LA I started a radio and fax campaign to all of the radio stations and newspapers in Phoenix and LA. I lived in Phoenix at the time. The basis of my campaign was, you can’t let the Rams move out of LA, how could I ever hate them as much if they moved?
    Well they moved. At least when they won their SB they weren’t in LA. If they move back to LA I can’t wait to hate on them again.

  23. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    I would love to see Boone get his shot. My only concern is that he will still be the swing tackle as well. If he gains 20 pounds to be better at guard, can he still dance with the speed rushers if Staley or Davis goes down? We are really deep at guard now with Looney and Kilgore, but tackle could get tricky.

  24. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    The Rams belong in L.A. Just like crap belongs in the septic tank. I lived through the 1970s of Ground Chuck beating up on the 49ers almost every game. I will ALWAYS hate the Rams.

  25. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah, Roman Gabriel still holds a special place in my heart for abject hatred.
    Boone? My only concern with him was his size. He’s on the light side for a guard. He needs to be at least 320, I’d think. He’s only about 305 now.

  26. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    All those guys vying for the RG spot are on the lighter side, relatively.

  27. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Fax campaign???

  28. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    Hey! it was the 1990’s. Fax was cutting edge.

  29. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    That’s about the time V’s brain maxed out and went into an endless loop.

  30. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    I always hated those Anaheim Ram fans that wore those stupid watermelons on their heads. It was so much fun to beat the shit out of the Rams after taking so much shit for so long.
    As far as RG goes, I’m pretty surprised by the lack of concern on the Niners part. But hey, what do I know? I though losing AF would hurt, but they ended up better without him. I thought the team would improve incrementally last year (Smith included), but they were 1 muffed punt from the Super Bowl.
    And so it goes . . . (that’s for our lineman Kilgore Trout)

  31. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    NoFear- Are you ready for more of the 3-4 seminar? As the blog Central Scrutinizer you need to stay informed.

  32. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    49ers 5th round LB Darius Fleming tore ACL.

  33. phil fanNo Gravatar says:

    LaMichael James story sounds alot like Frank Gore’s:


    He’s going to be fun to watch

  34. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Parys Haralson might have just gotten a 1-yr. reprieve. Also Cam Johnson might just have been elevated from practice squad to the 53-man roster.

  35. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    Good deducement, Grump. Or is this a prediction we can hold over your head?

  36. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Grump, are they sticking with using A Smith as a pass rush specialist and not using himm all the time?
    Shit, they can use CJ the same way. One thing Walsh was big on was rotating D linemen to keep them fresh.

  37. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Shit, just saw the Fleming news . . . That sucks.

  38. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    When the Central Scrutinizer weighs in it will be held over somebody’s head! We wait for NoFear.

  39. robNo Gravatar says:


    imho parys was safe .

    i still like chilo and think the coaching staff might have made a mistake there !

  40. robNo Gravatar says:


    imho if the current staff had known more about chilo’s whole history they might have taken a different view of him !

  41. robNo Gravatar says:


    don’t worry about NOFEAR …
    he’s just still really pissed off that GRUMPYGUY stole his web handle !

  42. Unca ChuckNo Gravatar says:

    Chilo’s a one-hit wonder. He can block straight ahead, but little else. He and Norriss led the NFL in whiffs 2 years ago.

  43. robNo Gravatar says:

    chilo has next to nothing in terms of experience and coaching imo ! given time , and a little patience , i’m not so sure he couldn’t become a very good player !

  44. robNo Gravatar says:

    WOW !
    just saw an article saying aj. jenkins was learning on the fly … and that he was very happy to be getting a lot of input from his childhood hero !

    very cool imo … until i read that his childhood hero was rand moss !

    omg where’s jerry rice when you need him !

  45. Grumpy GuyNo Gravatar says:

    Skeebs, hold it all you want. This is the internet. I don’t take it seriously. That way lies madness. So what if I’m wrong. I have a right to my uninformed opinions like all the other A-holes. 🙂

  46. BergerNo Gravatar says:

    A glass house like that would be perfect for NoFear’s neighbor. He could spend all day telling them they know nothing about anything. Like boiling water, cleaning the windows or wiping their asses. Heck, the Cewntral Scrutinizer needs the whole neighborhood, except himself, in glass houses. He’d be in heavan.

  47. phil fanNo Gravatar says:

    Yeah I Knew the pie fight was coming. That’s good.
    But for me, loathe to take sides, I will Not join the gang against the one guy in blogsville who actually understands the importance of the Spratleys. RG? Fer Crysakes! Small small potatoes.
    You want some fries with that? We got plenty (small) potatoes. Hey how ’bout summa our secret Blind Spy’s Sauce?
    Got plenty of that too.

  48. SkeebersNo Gravatar says:

    New post is up.

2021 Schedules
09/12: W 49ers 41, Lions 33
09/19: W 49ers 17, Eagles 11
09/26: L Packers 30, 49ers 28
10/03: L Seahawks 28, 49ers 21
10/10: L Cardinals 17, 49ers 10
10/17 BYE
10/24: L Colts 30, 49ers 18
10/31: W 49ers 33, Bears 22
11/07: L Cardinals 31, 49ers 17
11/15: W 49ers 31, Rams 10L
11/21: W 49ers 30, Jaguars 10
11/28: W 49ers 34, Vikings 26
12/05: L Seahawks 30, 49ers 23 12/12 · 10:00 AMCIN
12/19 · 1:05 PM v ATL
12/23 · 5:20 PM v TEN
01/02 · 1:05 PM v HOU
01/09 · 1:25 PM @ LAR

2021 Draft Class
1. QB Trey Lance, North Dakota State
2. OG Aaron Banks, Notre Dame
3. RB Trey Sermon, Ohio State
3. CB Ambry Thomas, Michigan
5. OG/OT Jaylon Moore, Western Michigan
5. CB Deommodore Lenoir, Oregon
5. S Talanoa Hufanga, USC
6. RB Elijah Mitchell, Louisiana
2021 Prognostications
Bullit: 12-5
Grumpy: 13-4
NJ49er: 11-6
Skeebers: 14-3
Winder: 12-5
Rob: 17-0
Spitblood: 0-17