Blog Archives

Broncos 24, Panthers 10

So that’s it. Another NFL season hits the pavement in search of its place in history. Super Bowl 50 looks like a perfect candidate for the “Just Win, Baby” division. In the “Defense Wins Championships” category. One of my favorite

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 27, Whatchamacallits 6

Look, Ma, a passing game! The 49ers found one in Washington Monday night, as well as a pass rush, and they whipped the Whatevers 27-6, regaining the sixth playoff seed held for a mere 24 hours by the Arizona Cardinals.

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Spring Break

The minicamp practices have concluded and the players won’t be in uniform again until Training Camp opens in six weeks. The four non-contact spring practices produced two torn Achilles tendons and one blown ACL knee. Two of the injuries were

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Lip O Suck Shun

Easter has come and gone, and those of you who attempt to give devout behavior at least a smidgeon of your attention can now ease back into your wicked and sinful ways. Those of you who are devoutless devotees can

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

April Love

Folklore maintains that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb, as the last cold blasts of winter give way to the Pat Boone days of spring. Folklore is buttressed, astrologically speaking, by the constellation of

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Tampering Week

The blossoms are on the trees these days, coloring up the bleak winter view, and attracting the sleek black crows to the nests of robins where they can eagerly gobble up the little robinettes, ending their poor little lives before

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Wake Me When The Game Begins

The game cannot come soon enough. 100 mouths, 2,000 microphones, and still 5,000 game analyses to go before the kickoff. I put my head in the sand yesterday, but it didn’t work. There were two ostriches down there talking about

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Posted in Vacant Observations

So Far, So Good

The Bye week has come and gone and the 49ers return to action this week, having advanced to the third seed in the NFC courtesy of the Giants and Eli Manning putting up a clunker at home against the Steelers.

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Mile High Meh

The third preseason game against Denver was nothing to write home about. But, nobody writes home about practice games anyway. The game was nationally televised, with FOX’s number one broadcasting team on hand, and Denver used the opportunity to show

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Posted in Post Game Spread

For Your Eyes Only

The 49ers allowed themselves to be beaten Saturday in Houston, thus avoiding the perfect preseason jinx. The two players acquired in the offseason to provide RB depth both did their jobs by getting injured instead of our starting guys, leaving

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Barking on a Corner

We all have our squabbles and quibbles about various players on the 49ers, with some fellows probably more prone to squabbilifying than others due to the testicle shrinking weather conditions of the upper Yukon — but, hey, I’m no doctor!

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

The Spin Doctor Is In

Now that the 49ers’ Front Office has bungled away the feel good atmosphere of the hugely successful 2011 season and reminded us of the ten years of ownership ineptitude which preceded it, everyone can get back to business. And thank

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Lunch Lips

Trent Baalke hit the lotto two years in a row with his third round picks — NaVorro Bowman and Chris Culliver. Neither pick drew oohs and aahs at the time. More like who’s and wha’s. Bowman stepped in for Takeo

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Away From the Lights

Last year, the Eagles won the Free Agency PR title and were promptly awarded a berth in the 2011 Super Bowl. Hmmmm. Is “oops” too strong a word? The actual Free Agency winner was the guy who laid in the

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Posted in Vulcan Mind Probes

Hangin’ Round the Ink Well

Ink flowing is not normally as fascinating to observe as is paint drying, grass growing, or televised Combine events, but this could change in the next two weeks. The 49ers have until March 13th to re-sign currently held players or

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Mensa Members Only

The Outsider likes to spoof former 49er head coach Mike Nolan because it’s fun and it always riled up the Igloo Man who has evidently departed the premises. But, with Tuesday’s Pro Bowl announcements, Nolan’s last draft here, the 2007

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Less Is More

Thanks to the number one rated defense, a mistake free offense, good special teams, and punter Andy Lee, the 49ers have won the field position battle in almost every game this year. Usually by a whopping margin. This helps the

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Posted in Lunatic Ravings

Pittsburgh Aluminums Foiled

20,000+ Steeler fans made a very poor investment of their time and money Monday night. Har har hardy har har! Eat it, you towel wavers. The only thing terrible at Candlestick was your team! Well, there was the missing electricity,

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Failed Opportunities

It’s been a magical season for the 49ers. And for the fans. But Sunday’s loss to the Cardinals all but ended any delusions of making a Super Bowl run this year. That journey now would require a ticket from the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Best in the West

Eight years of Dweeb football came to a resounding end Sunday at Candlestick. The 49ers completely stomped the Rams in a game that had zero sweaty moments. Not once, even for a second, was this game in doubt. NFC West

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Stuffed and Basted

The San Francisco 49ers Magical Mystery Tour ran out of hallucinogens Thursday night and the team crashed back to reality. Bummer, man. Not hard to figure this game out. Nine sacks. 125 yards of game altering penalties. Short end of

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Kool-Aid Sales Soar

The Bye Week is normally a drizzly, anguished time where we either say good-Bye to another lost cause 49er season or drastically reduce our expectations for what the team can hope to accomplish with the remaining schedule. This latter occurrence

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Posted in Monday Morning Quarterback
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle: L 13-24
Dec. 3: at Chicago: W 15-14
Dec. 10: at Houston: W 26-16
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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