Blog Archives

Return of the Prodigal Son

One more preseason game before we can forget about preseason games even though there will be one more preseason game to endure. Friday’s game against the Packers is mainly meaningful because it will mark the first time since the middle

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Posted in Exhibition Season

Up the Down Staircase

The 49ers currently have 39 players on the squad that were selected from the 2013 – 2016 drafts. NaVorro Bowman is the only guy left from the 2010 draft. Nobody left from 2008, 2009, and 2012. Only Colin Kaepernick, Daniel

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Posted in FOS Speculation

The Bust Maker

The 49ers haven’t come right out and admitted it, but their inactions during the Free Agency period have made it clear they have no intention of trying to be competitive this year. They are not even faking it. The 2016

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Standing Pat

Two weeks into the FA period, it looks like GM Trent Baalke has concluded that last year’s 5-11 record wasn’t the least bit his fault. No, the roster’s fine. The record was all the fault of Jim Tomsula and Colin

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Halftime Highlights

Halfway through the season, the Niners have become the musical chairs franchise. QBs in, QBs out. RBs in, RBs out. CBs in, CBs out. TEs in, TEs out. RG and RT in and out and in and out. Apparently, our

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Training Camp 2015

The 2014 offseason will close up shop this weekend, taking its rightful place among the darkest chapters in 49er history. A truly ghastly effort by the dirtbag young owner and an insult to 49er fans everywhere. Next up, two weeks

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Posted in Training Camp

Can Anybody Play This Game?

June is here, which means three more months until the grand opening of The Return to Mediocrity Era. Featuring an ever evolving cast of entirely forgettable coaches and players. Hip hip kerplunk! Today, we’ll look at the 2012 Draft class,

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Stepper Uppers Needed

Jed York checked his mouth into rehab after the owners’ meetings last week, so there has been some quiet time these days. Pity. What will we do for amusement? Poor young Jed. A year ago, he was the toast of

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Seahawks 17, 49ers 7

When you go into a game with third string CBs, backup ILBs, a third string NT, a third string C, a backup RT, two guards wondering where they’ll play next year, and a QB who panics as soon as he

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Halfway House

How nice of the NFL to give the Niners a BYE week so the Bay Area can concentrate on rooting for the Giants to win the World Series. It’s been a strange beginning to the 2014 season. The new stadium

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Suck It Up or Just Suck

For the past three years, 49er fans have been able to count on a shutdown defense to make them more than competitive in every game the team played. So far this year, that is not the case. In the Arizona

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Posted in Game Previews

Cardinals 23, 49ers 14

For the third consecutive week, the 49ers jumped out to a first half lead, then imploded in the second half. The lead was big enough in the first game to withstand the brown out, but last week and this week,

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Changing of the Guard

By all accounts, Aldon Smith is having a superman TC so far. That’s the good news. The bad news is multiple reports are predicting a six to eight game suspension for the 2014 season. The silver lining news is that

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Ravens 23, 49ers 3

On second thought, bring back the offseason! The 49ers suffered their ugliest loss since the first game of the Harbaugh Era, back in 2011 against the Saints. That game was 24-3 and this one was 23-3. Jim Harbaugh is now

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Visiting the Uglies

Sunday marked the end of life without football. R.I.P. hunk of shit dead air time. The 49ers tee it up Thursday night against the Ravens. Can’t wait to see Jewel Hampton blowing through holes opened up by Al Netter and

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Posted in Training Camp

Sic Transit Offseason

One more week, guys. We’re almost there. Rookies report today and the vets next Wednesday. First padded practice the 26th. The offseason has brought us many entertainments, starting with the trade of Jim Harbaugh to Cleveland — NOT. Then a

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Hick Cups

We’re in the midst of a sporting drought. The Red Sox flicked aside the Cardinals in last fall’s World Series, the Seahawks blew out the Broncos, the Spurs humbled the Heat, the Kings wiped out the Rangers, and the U.S.

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Posted in FOS Speculation

August Previews

For the past few years, the 49er starting lineup has been a pat hand heading into Training Camp. It can be debated whether they have had the lowest form of pat hand — a straight — or a somewhat higher

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Posted in FOS Speculation

New Blood

When the 49ers start the 2014 season, almost half the defense will be different than the one that started the 2013 season. DC Vic Fangio will have his biggest challenge since taking over the job in 2011. The team will

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Posted in Vacant Observations

The Ten Four Clubs

With one week left before the beginning of Free Agency, the 49ers have yet to re-sign any of their 12 pending free agents. That’s 23% of last year’s season ending roster in danger of going bye-bye. Of course, some of

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Caveman vs the Archer

Here we are again. Traveling to New Orleans for what seems like our annual game against the Saints. As usual, the 49ers will not be favored to win. They won last year’s game handily, in the game that cemented Colin

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Posted in Game Previews

Half Time Adjustments

The Carolina Panthers are seeing the news coming out of their next opponent’s HQ, which would be our own 49ers, and asking themselves WTF?! At a point in the season where most teams are coping with players lost to injury,

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Posted in Game Previews
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs. Carolina, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 17: at Seattle, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams, 5:25 p.m.
Oct. 1: at Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis, 10 a.m.
Oct. 15: at Washington, 10 a.m.
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2016 Prognostications
Closest To The Pin
  Grumpy: 3-13
  Spitblood: 3-13
  Winder: 3-13
Bakkentom: 0-16
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 8-8, 7-9, 9-7, 10-6
Mr Fletch: 4-12
NJ49er: 5-11
Phil Fan: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 7-9
Skeebers: 6-10

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