Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! After ten straight thumpings, the 49ers finally rose up and smote down the Seattle effing Seahawks. I’m still pinching myself, Shirley. Sunday’s victory was the biggest win of the Kyle Shanahan era…
Blog Archives
49ers 26, Seahawks 23
Tagged with: CJ Beathard, Jeff Wilson, Jimmy Garoppolo, Kyle Shanahan, Nick Mullens, Richie James, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Sebastian Janikowski
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Seahawks 43, 49ers 16
The 49ers rolled up nearly 500 yards of offense in Seattle on Sunday and … got beat by four touchdowns! If you throw out the losing part, and the 98 yard pick six by Bobby Wagner, and the fumble at the…
Tagged with: Bobby Wagner, Jeff Wilson, Kyle Shanahan, Nick Mullens, Richie James, Rob!!!, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Bend Over, Here It Comes Again
The 49ers make their annual trek to Seattle this weekend for their annual trouncing by the Seahawks. This will be the seventh consecutive year of embarrassment and futility up north. At the beginning of the season, it looked like things…
Tagged with: CJ Beathard, Dickhead Sherman, Earl Thomas, Michael Bennett, Nick Mullens, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Divisional Flip Flop
The Cardinals and Seahawks have owned the NFC West in recent years, but they both look ready to eat some humble pie this coming year. Hahahaha! I don’t have any particular beef with the Cardinals, who are led by one…
Tagged with: Arizona Cardinals, Bruce Arians, Larry Fitzgerald, Los Angeles Rams, Matt Patricia, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Wade Phillips
Posted in Existential Elbows
Posted in Existential Elbows
Go Ask Alice, I Think She’ll Know
The NFC West spun off its axis last week, with the Seahawks throwing in the towel, the Rams gearing up to defend against Jimmy Garoppolo, and the 49ers signing Richard (formerly Dickhead) Sherman, perhaps the most hated rival of the…
Tagged with: Arizona Cardinals, Jimmy Garoppolo, Los Angeles Rams, Mr. Jones, Richard Sherman, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in NFC West Gossip
Posted in NFC West Gossip
Seahawks 24, 49ers 13
The 49ers’ massive one game winning streak finally came to an end Sunday in Santa Clara, as they wheezed to defeat against the Seattle Seahawks. The team conducted a spirited battle of nothingness in the first quarter, then the Seahawks…
Tagged with: CJ Beathard, Jimmy Garoppolo, Louis Murphy, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Seahawks 25, 49ers 23
After a brief foray into the land of the winning, a journey described hysterically by Blaine Gabbert‘s clueless backup as “huge” and “something to build on,” the 49ers reverted quickly back to the norm and tacked on a season ending…
Tagged with: Adam Gase, Blaine Gabbert, Chip Kelly, Colin Kaepernick, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Paraag Marathe, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Last Slice of Humble Pie
Another season has slipped away, taking with it the 49ers pride, dignity, heritage, pants, shoes, jockstraps, NFL relevance — you name it, they lost it. The team closes out their season Sunday, at home against the Seahawks, who have beaten…
Lame Owners’ Bowl
The Jeckyll and Hyde 49ers return home this weekend to play the Cowboys, hoping the Doctor is in and not the other guy. The howls have already begun to yank Blaine Gabbert and try one of the other bust QBs…
Tagged with: 49ers, Antoine Bethea, Blaine Gabbert, Carlos Hyde, Chris Davis, Dak Prescott, Dallas Cowboys, Dez Bryant, Doug Baldwin, Jerome Kearse, Jerry Jones, Jimmie Ward, Jimmy Graham, Rashard Robinson, Seattle Seahawks, Tony Romo, Tramaine Brock, Trent Baalke, Tyler Lockett
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Dink and Dunker Special
The 49ers haven’t won a game in Seattle since the 2011 season. They swept the Seahawks that year, split with them the next two years, and were skunked in 2014 and 2015. Still, our boys have a golden opportunity to…
Tagged with: 49ers, Ahmad Brooks, Cam Newton, Christine Michael, Marshawn Lynch, Russell Wilson, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
49ers 28, Rams 0
Well, that was surprising. Not the victory so much as the magnitude of it. Chip Kelly and Blaine Gabbert, two NFL entities pretty much consigned to the scrap heap by league “experts” and “insiders,” stuck the old thumb in the…
Tagged with: 49ers, Blaine Gabbert, Cam Newton, Carlos Hyde, Caroling Panthers, Case Keenum, Chip Kelly, Jared Goff, Jerome Kerley, Quinton Patton, Rams, Seattle Seahawks, Todd Gurley, Vance McDonald
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Seahawks 29, 49ers 13
The 49ers kept their road record perfect on Sunday in Seattle, losing 29-13 for their fifth consecutive road loss. Once again, it was the defense that led the way to defeat as Seahawks backup RB Thomas Rawls bulled through them…
Tagged with: Blaine Gabbert, Colin Kaepernick, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Mike Nolan, Mike Singletary, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Thomas Rawls, Trent Baalke, Vance McDonald
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Back to Work Week
After an intense week of delusional therapy, the 49ers resume their fall from grace this week by traveling to Seattle to be squashed like a bug before returning home to be thoroughly thrashed by the Arizona Cardinals. At that point,…
Tagged with: Arizona Cardinals, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, St. Louis Rams
Posted in Vacant Observations
Posted in Vacant Observations
Seahawks 20, 49ers 3
The San Francisco 49ers’ two game flirtation as a bona fide NFL entity came to a screeching halt Thursday night as the Seattle Seahawks pounded them into oblivion, ravaged their village, stole their manhood, ran off with their wives, and…
Tagged with: Bill Parcells, Colin Kaepernick, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, Marshawn Lynch, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
49ers 25, Ravens 20
In a battle of bleeding franchises, the 49ers leaked less than the Ravens Sunday, stopping their four game losing streak and notching their second win of the 2015 season. With the loss, the Ravens put themselves in contention for a…
Seahawks 17, 49ers 7
When you go into a game with third string CBs, backup ILBs, a third string NT, a third string C, a backup RT, two guards wondering where they’ll play next year, and a QB who panics as soon as he…
Tagged with: Ahmad Brooks, Carlos Hyde, Chris Borland, Colin Kaepernick, Ed Hochuli, Frank Gore, Garrett Celek, Jim Harbaugh, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Tank Carradine
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Seahawks 19, 49ers 3
Turn out the lights, the party’s over. The Seahawks may or may not be as good as last year’s club, but there’s no question at all that the 49ers aren’t what they used to be. And the fall off has…
Tagged with: Blaine Gabbert, Colin Kaepernick, Frank Gore, Jim Harbaugh, Richard Sherman, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Manhood Test
Here comes Seattle. If the 49ers beat them, they’ll be alive for a playoff berth and we’ll have a week and a half to gloat. If they beat us, we’ll have ten months of agony and upheaval staring us in…
Tagged with: Alex Smith, Colin Kaepernick, Jim Harbaugh, Michael Crabtree, Richard Sherman, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Broncos 42, 49ers 17
I haven’t turned off a 49er game in the third quarter since probably as far back as the Mike Nolan era, but this puppy was going nowhere fast and when Colin Kaepernick tossed an interception and the Broncos immediately cashed…
Tagged with: Aldon Smith, Anquan Boldin, Brett Favre, Colin Kaepernick, Daniel Kilgore, Denver Broncos, Marcus Martin, Mike Nolan, Percy Harvin, Peyton Manning, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Vernon Davis
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Talk Is Cheap
We are now half way through the offseason, and less than a week away from the 2014 Draft. Easy, guys! Hold back those yawns! We’ll find out today whether the 49ers pick up the 5th year option on resident bad…
Tagged with: Aldon Smith, Donald Sterling, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
Table Scraps
February bids us adieu today and you won’t catch me shedding any tears for this midget month. Condolences to all of you born in this end of the Zodiac squirt. Trust me, it explains everything that’s gone wrong in your…
Tagged with: Alex Boone, Anthony Davis, Colin Kaepernick, Craig Dahl, Daniel Kilgore, David Baas, Greg Roman, Jim Harbaugh, Jon Baldwin, Jonathan Goodwin, Quinton Patton, Red Bryant, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in Vacant Observations
Posted in Vacant Observations