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49ers 17, Falcons 16

A funny thing happened on the 49ers journey toward the number one pick in the 2016 draft. They screwed up and won a game against the fading Atlanta Falcons. Little did they know that their much maligned backup QB Blaine

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Rams 27, 49ers 6

The 49ers ran their perfect non-winning road streak to 4 games Sunday by flying to St. Louis and straight into the Rams windshield, where they were scraped off 27-6. In losing their sixth game in eight tries, the 49ers put

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Hidden Agenda

The 49ers travel to St. Louis this weekend for what might be the last time, if rumors of the Rams moving to Los Angeles prove accurate. The Rams are in second place in the NFC West at 3-3. That’s right

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Posted in Game Previews

Stuck Inside of Mobile

The 49ers have been soundly beaten by the Cardinals and the Seahawks. They’ll get whipped again by each of them this year. Next Sunday we’ll find out if they get trashed by the Rams, too. And with the fearsome front

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Seahawks 20, 49ers 3

The San Francisco 49ers’ two game flirtation as a bona fide NFL entity came to a screeching halt Thursday night as the Seattle Seahawks pounded them into oblivion, ravaged their village, stole their manhood, ran off with their wives, and

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 25, Ravens 20

In a battle of bleeding franchises, the 49ers leaked less than the Ravens Sunday, stopping their four game losing streak and notching their second win of the 2015 season. With the loss, the Ravens put themselves in contention for a

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Battle of the Suckitudes

The 49er players are treating their loss to the Giants as some sort of team victory and a sign that their fortunes are on the way up. That illusion has a chance to be bolstered this weekend with an actual

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Posted in Game Previews

Giants 30, 49ers 27

Close, but no seegar. For the second straight week, the 49ers wracked up a moral victory. And also lost their fourth game in a row. Last week, the defense was respectable and the offense stunk. This week the offense actually

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Dumping Ground

It was a nation wide dump on Colin Kaepernick week. It’s gotten so bad, even your faithful steely-eyed scribbler has begun to feel sorry for the poor kid. If he stinks it up again in New York next Sunday night,

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Posted in Game Previews

Packers 17, 49ers 3

The 49ers were beaten thoroughly by the Packers Sunday, 17-3, in what passes this season as a “nail biter.” Green Bay took a seven point lead in the first quarter, and even though the Niners were always within reach according

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Long Term Forecast: Drought

The 49ers are catching a media break now with the Giants rallying back into the NL West race and the Warriors grabbing everyone’s attention as they try to bring home their first NBA Title since 1975. That’s a 40 year

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Posted in Angst 101

Can Anybody Play This Game?

June is here, which means three more months until the grand opening of The Return to Mediocrity Era. Featuring an ever evolving cast of entirely forgettable coaches and players. Hip hip kerplunk! Today, we’ll look at the 2012 Draft class,

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Posted in FOS Speculation

In the Interim

News out of camp last week was that Jim Tomsula is “not just a meathead D-line coach.” This sounds suspiciously like: “I am not a crook.” or “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” Not exactly a ringing

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Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

Too Much Noise

There’s been a lot of pixels devoted to unraveling the hatchet job Jed York did to Jim Harbaugh, but York also undermined GM Trent Baalke, by torpedoing his choice for the 49ers’ new HC. And some people wonder why there’s

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Blazing Saddles

This coming Thursday, the 49ers will be required by league rules to open up a practice for media scrutiny. It’s not known whether the new coaching staff is also required to make themselves available to the media. They have been

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Forward to the Past

The marketing wing at 4949 Centennial Blvd. has officially scrapped the “Quest for Six” slogan and replaced it with “Hooray, We Suck” banners for the 2015 season. Santa Clara tax dollars at work. The 49ers will be holding a rookie

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Good Cop, Bad Cop

The 2015 Draft is mercifully concluded and we can forget about all these fellows who have been cluttering up the airways and computer monitors these past few months with their upsides, potential, downsides, measureables, and all sorts of what-not data.

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

49er 2015 Draft Recap

The results are in and we now know the names of the ten players who will waste their first year in the NFL learning schemes and systems from lousy coaches who will be fired in a year or two. Enjoy

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Posted in Draft Reaction

Hyper Kiper Time

The 2015 Schedule was released last Tuesday night. It looks like the only thing standing in the way of a perfect 0-8 start is the pesky opening game versus Minnesota. Even if the 49ers win that game — and they

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Posted in Draft Board

Draft Bier

Draft frenzy is in full swing these days. The Draft itself is quite enjoyable, but the pre-draft hoopla can be a bit taxing. If this sort of entertainment is not one’s cup of tea, it’s like living in a one

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Posted in Vacant Observations

April Daze

There’s been a lot of quotes from Anquan Boldin recently. Apparently, he’s appointed himself team spokesperson, in lieu of anyone else filling that role. On Friday, however, the 49ers trotted out Colin Kaepernick, Jim Tomsula, Vernon Davis, and Antoine Bethea

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Posted in Angst 101

The Enabler

New HC Jim Tomsula has stated that he won’t be involved in the offense or the defense this coming year, he’ll just be an “enabler.” Very clever. He can’t be blamed for a lousy O or a lousy D. I

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Posted in Tuesday Morning Waterboy
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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