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Cardinals 28, 49ers 18

The 49ers won the battle for last place in the NFC West Sunday in Santa Clara by drubbing the Arizona Cardinals for three hours while cleverly keeping themselves off the scoreboard in the process of this complete butt whipping. It

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Posted in Post Game Spread

It’s In The Cards

The 49ers have been hit hard by injuries lately, but it hasn’t affected the quality of their poor play. The backup players have proved to be nearly as semi-talented as the starters they have replaced. That would be good news,

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Posted in Game Previews

Chargers 29, 49ers 27

Sunday’s 49ers looked a lot like last year’s 49ers. Gritty, competitive, never-say-die, back-and-forth nail-biter but short end of the stick.  Just enough positive play to stay in the game and just enough mistakes to lose. CJ Beathard filled in admirably

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Chiefs 38, 49ers 27

The 49ers season swirled down the toilet Sunday afternoon against the Kansas City Chiefs when late in the game QB Jimmy Garoppolo recklessly went for a couple more yards instead of stepping out of bounds. As he planted his left

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Kansas City Star, That’s What He Are

At the beginning of the season, nearly everyone figured the 49ers’ record after two games would be 1-1. There were a couple of guys who felt differently, but they have now clunked to the bottom of the “Prognostications” list, where

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Posted in Game Previews

49ers 30, Lions 27

As expected, the 49ers rebounded from their loss in Minnesota to easily barely handle the toothless scrappy Detroit Lions. After controlling the game for three quarters, the Niners held a 17 point lead with 11 minutes to go in the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

All the World’s a Stage

The first exhibition game is in the books. Ready to be moved to the basement. Next to the boiler. Ready for the winter fires. Just kidding. Nobody has books anymore, or boilers, for that matter. Except in movies where mob

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Roster Review

The 49ers defense ranked 24th last year. 22nd against the pass and 22nd against the run. The offense was 12th in yards and 20th in points. 9th in passing yards, 21st in rushing yards. It’s tough to draw too many

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Posted in Orgainized Team Activities

Divisional Flip Flop

The Cardinals and Seahawks have owned the NFC West in recent years, but they both look ready to eat some humble pie this coming year. Hahahaha! I don’t have any particular beef with the Cardinals, who are led by one

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Posted in Existential Elbows

Was It Good For You?

Oh what a draft it was, it really was … such a draft How well I remember, I’ll always remember … The 49ers Draft Room fellows were typically quite pleased with themselves for their efforts in the 2018 Draft. There’s

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Posted in Draft Reaction

Lap Falling Syndrome

Well, it’s almost here. After the Super Bowl and the Presidential Election, the NFL Draft is probably the third most overhyped event in America. Apparently, the 49ers are going to take a linebacker, a cornerback, an offensive lineman, or trade

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Go Ask Alice, I Think She’ll Know

The NFC West spun off its axis last week, with the Seahawks throwing in the towel, the Rams gearing up to defend against Jimmy Garoppolo, and the 49ers signing Richard (formerly Dickhead) Sherman, perhaps the most hated rival of the

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Posted in NFC West Gossip

Good News, Bad News

I suppose it’s time to crack open the door to the 2018 offseason. When we last viewed the 49ers, they were in the process of beating three playoff teams to close out the year on a five game winning streak.

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Posted in Vacant Observations

49ers 34, Rams 13

The Rams laid down like dogs, to quote possibly the only memorable thing Phil Simms ever said. With 17 substitutions to their starting lineup, they were no match for the rejuvenated 49ers, who easily swamped the B squad from L.A.

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 44, Jaguars 33

The 49ers ran their late season winning streak to four games Sunday, beating the Jaguars and improving their record to 5-10. Before the game started, the Rams beat the Titans, which clinched the AFC South for Jacksonville and the NFC

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 25, Titans 23

It appears the 49ers have finally located a QB. In three games as the starter, Jimmy Garoppolo has been virtually unstoppable. He’s had two 300+ yard passing games, an almost extinct achievement this century. Two 4th quarter game winning drives

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 26, Texans 16

It took 45 games, but the post-Harbaugh 49ers have finally won two consecutive games! It’s probably no coincidence that both winning efforts were conducted by newly acquired QB Jimmy Garoppolo, who appears to have wisely used his three and a

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 15, Bears 14

The 49ers dominated the hapless Bears Sunday in Chicago, having a TOP edge of 38 to 21, a first down advantage of 23 to 8, 388 to 147 net yards lead, and a whopping 73 to 38 lead in offensive

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Posted in Post Game Spread

It’s Been Real

For the third consecutive year, the 49ers will travel to Chicago late in the season for a game against the Bears. The Third Annual Loser Litmus Test Game. Three years ago, then HC Jim Tomsula was handed a fluke OT

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Seahawks 24, 49ers 13

The 49ers’ massive one game winning streak finally came to an end Sunday in Santa Clara, as they wheezed to defeat against the Seattle Seahawks. The team conducted a spirited battle of nothingness in the first quarter, then the Seahawks

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Posted in Post Game Spread

View From the Bottom

The 2017 NFL season is slipping by quickly and we’re down to our last six games. The 49ers have improved statistically from last year’s team, with the offense improving from somewhere near dead last to 23rd in the league. The

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Posted in Vacant Observations

49ers 31, Giants 21

Rookie HC Kyle Shanahan finally got his first win Sunday, trouncing the hapless New York Giants. Rookie QB CJ Beathard also got his first win, while enjoying the rare treat of a clean pocket and a break from getting pounded

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Posted in Post Game Spread
2018 Schedule
9-9, L: Vikings 24, 49ers 16
9-16, W: 49ers 30, Lions 27
9-23, L: Chiefs 38, 49ers 27
9-30, L: Chargers 29, 49ers 27
10-7, L: Cardinals 28, 49ers 18

10-15: @ Packers, 5:15 pm, Mon.
10-21: vs. Rams, 5:20 pm, Sun.
10-28: @ Cardinals, 1:25 pm, Sun.
11-1: vs. Raiders, 5:20 pm, Thur.
11-12: vs. Giants, 5:15 pm, Mon.
BYE
11-25: @ Tampa, 10:00 am, Sun.
12-2: @ Seattle, 5:20 pm, Sun.
12-9: vs. Broncos, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-16: vs. Seattle, 1:25 pm, Sun.
12-23: vs. Bears, 1:05 pm, Sun.
12-30: @ Rams, 1:25 pm, Sun.
 
2018 Draft Class
1. OT Mike McGlinchey
2. WR Dante Pettis
3. LB Fred Warner
3. DB Tarvarius Moore
4. DE Kentavius Street
5. CB D.J. Reed
6. S Marcell Harris
7. DT Jullian Taylor
7. WR Richie James
 
2018 Prognostications
Bakkentom: 8-8
Bullit: 9-7
Grumpy: 8-8
Mr Fletch: 7-9
NJ49er: 9-7
Skeebers: 10-6
Winder: 8-8

Spitblood: 0-16
Rob!!!: 16-0

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