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Seahawks 12, 49ers 9

The earth shook. The mountains trembled. Zeus fondled his lightning bolt. Time stood still. And there it was. With eleven minutes left in the 4th quarter in Seattle, the 49ers took a 9-6 lead. Zounds! Then Russell Wilson said, “Screw

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Coming Attractions

The 49ers have not had a franchise QB since Steve Young was knocked out of the NFL by Aeneas Williams at Arizona in 1999. They won’t have one this year, either. Making it 19 straight years with a deficiency at

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Posted in FOS Speculation

And the Least Shall Be Last

The 49ers and Cardinals meet tonight in a battle for the basement in the NFC West. That the Niners are engaged in this sort of tawdry affair is no surprise, but Arizona has been a surprise disappointment thus far in

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Posted in Game Previews

Dink and Dunker Special

The 49ers haven’t won a game in Seattle since the 2011 season. They swept the Seahawks that year, split with them the next two years, and were skunked in 2014 and 2015. Still, our boys have a golden opportunity to

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Posted in Game Previews

Trivial Pursuits

The AFC SB contestants are a never ending parade of Peyton Manning teams, Tom Brady, and Ben Roethlisberger, with a one year fluke appearances by Joe Flacco, Trent Dilfer, and Rich Gannon. Going on 16 years now. Just those 3.03

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Posted in Delusional Therapy

Seahawks 29, 49ers 13

The 49ers kept their road record perfect on Sunday in Seattle, losing 29-13 for their fifth consecutive road loss. Once again, it was the defense that led the way to defeat as Seahawks backup RB Thomas Rawls bulled through them

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Seahawks 20, 49ers 3

The San Francisco 49ers’ two game flirtation as a bona fide NFL entity came to a screeching halt Thursday night as the Seattle Seahawks pounded them into oblivion, ravaged their village, stole their manhood, ran off with their wives, and

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Big Ass Parade

49er QB Colin Kaepernick laid a huge ass egg last Sunday in Arizona. He’s taken a big ass beating from the press all week because of it. An agonizing event like that can break a guy. Or it can be

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Posted in Game Previews

Jed York Sucks

The long offseason begins. Seeing Russell Wilson and the Seahawks discover Sunday that they were not an invincible force was a pleasant send off to the 2014 year. There’s nothing sweeter than seeing a bunch of crass and arrogant blowhards

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Posted in Vulcan Mind Probes

Fools Rush In

The 49ers are in a pickle. Or at least us fans are. The team is run by an insecure boy owner trying to fill his Uncle Eddie’s shoes and an insecure GM trying to prove he deserves the job for

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Unclean Hands

Easter has come and gone and all across the country, Christians are resuming their sinful ways. Heathens are presumably just facing yet another week on the road to hell, no different than any other wicked and empty set of days.

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Posted in Lunatic Ravings

Dumpster Diving

The 49ers have been shopping for WRs and CBs the past few days without much success. Apparently, WRs aren’t particularly enchanted about being the 3rd WR on a team that hardly ever uses more than two. This might put a

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Strategic Failure

Draft guru Mike Mayock has pronounced this the deepest NFL draft he’s seen in ten years. We’ll presume, for the sake of argument, that Mr. Mayock’s eyesight has gotten a recent approval from his optometrist and that his basement houses

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Posted in Delusional Therapy

Bystander Blues

I’ll be rooting for Denver in Sunday’s Super Bowl. Mostly because I despise the Seahawks. I’d like to see them beaten, and embarrassed would be even better. Tawdry, perhaps, but true. But the fate of the Seahawks casts a shadow

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Seahawks 23, 49ers 17

It was a one man show in Seattle Sunday night — for the 49ers, at least. Colin Kaepernick single handedly kept the team in the game with his 130 yards of running until the fourth quarter, then he single handedly

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Tough Guys Don’t Dance

The 49ers have generously added yet another game for our viewing pleasure this year with their victory over the Panthers. This will be the third straight year the team has advanced to the NFC Championship Game. Bravo lads! Has it

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Posted in Game Previews

Quarterfinal Weekend

Cam Newton vs Colin Kaepernick. Tom Brady vs Andrew Luck. Peyton Manning vs Phillip Rivers. Russell Wilson vs Drew Brees. Wow. The Divisional Quarterfinals looks like a Home Run Derby of QBs. The AFC matchups don’t figure to lend much

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Posted in Game Previews

On The Road

Welcome to 2014, fellow Outsiders! We are now in the sudden death time of year. Each 49er game might be the last we see them until next August. Scary. It’s also 0-0 time and any team can catch fire, luck,

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Posted in Game Previews

Scoreboard Watchers Weekend

Last week of the 2013 season. Green Bay at Chicago for the NFC North title. Philadelphia at Dallas for the NFC East title. Saints are win-and-in versus Tampa Bay. Carolina and Seattle could both win their divisions and get the

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Posted in Game Previews

49ers 19, Seahawks 17

I slept pretty good last night. I wasn’t haunted by visions of that evil bastard Pete Carroll grinning and gloating all the way back to Seattle. Instead, he and his team flew home feeling dented. Not nearly so dominant as

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Panthers 10, 49ers 9

For the second time this year, a frisky young team came into Candlestick and used the 49ers as a launching pad into NFL respectability. First it was the Colts, who used their offense to bowl us over. Then Sunday, the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 34, Texans 3

Houston quarterback Matt Schaub led the 49ers to a 34-3 trouncing of his very own self Sunday night, throwing three interceptions, one of which was a record setting fourth straight game with a pick six. CB Tramaine Brock was the

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Posted in Post Game Spread
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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