The defending NFC Champion San Francisco 49ers kick off their 2020 season next Sunday afternoon at home against the division rival Arizona Cardinals. These pesky assholes gave the Niners a scare in both games last season, but clutch fourth quarter…
Blog Archives
And Away We Go
Tagged with: 49ers, DeAndre Hopkins, DJ Jones, Fred Warner, George Kittle, Javon Kinlaw, Jerick McKinnon, Jimmy Garoppolo, Jordan Reed, Kyler Murray, Larry Fitzgerald, Russell Wilson, Trent Taylor
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Perspective Detective
Last week was hard to digest. Tough for us 49er fans, and no doubt tougher for the team and coaches. But they get paid for their grief, and we don’t. Kyle Shanahan has been roasted a bit, while Andy Reid has…
Tagged with: 49ers, Andy Reid, Ben Roethlisberger, Brett Farve, Jimmy Garpppolo, John Elway, Kyle Shanahan, Kyler Murray, Matt Ryan, Peyton Manning, Russell Wilson, Tom Brady
Posted in Delusional Therapy
Posted in Delusional Therapy
Gloat Sandwich
The 49ers and Packers had a pretty good rivalry in the late ’90s, albeit a bit one sided. Brett Farve had their number and knocked them out of the playoffs in 1995, 1996, and 1997. The Niners finally beat him in…
Tagged with: 49ers, Aaron Rodgers, Brett Farve, Dickhead Sherman, Garrison Hearst, Jerry Rice, Packers, Pete Carroll, Russell Wilson, Seahawks, Terrell Owens
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
49ers 26, Seahawks 21
Sorry for the tardy game wrap up, guys. I was out of town for the weekend and didn’t get back until late Monday. The delay did give me a chance to spend quite a bit of time gloating shamelessly. I…
Tagged with: 49ers, Deebo Samuel, Dre Greenlaw, George Kittle, Jimmy Garoppolo, Nick Bosa, Pete Carroll, Russell Wilson, Seahawks
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Prove It or Lose It
Hey, look! We’ve got ourselves a MUST WIN GAME! Hahaha. We haven’t had one of these in quite awhile. But, let’s face it, if the 49ers can’t beat the Seahawks here at home, they’re not likely to in Seattle. And…
Tagged with: 49ers, Daniel Brunskill, Joe Staley, Kwon Alexander, Kyle Juszczyk, Mike McGlinchey, Nick Mullens, Pete Carroll, Russell Wilson, Seahawks
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
49ers 9, Washington 0
As noted by our astute commenters, sometimes ugly can be beautiful, and this game truly was. Probably the most gorgeous ugly victory of the year. Washington conjured up a squall for this game, which tilted the odds their way since…
Tagged with: 49ers, Adrian Peterson, Arik Armstead, Case Keenum, Dee Ford, Julian Taylor, Kwon Alexander, Kyle Shanahan, Lamar Jackson, Nick Bosa, Robbie Gould, Russell Wilson, Washington
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
49ers 26, Seahawks 23
Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! After ten straight thumpings, the 49ers finally rose up and smote down the Seattle effing Seahawks. I’m still pinching myself, Shirley. Sunday’s victory was the biggest win of the Kyle Shanahan era…
Tagged with: CJ Beathard, Jeff Wilson, Jimmy Garoppolo, Kyle Shanahan, Nick Mullens, Richie James, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Sebastian Janikowski
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Seahawks 43, 49ers 16
The 49ers rolled up nearly 500 yards of offense in Seattle on Sunday and … got beat by four touchdowns! If you throw out the losing part, and the 98 yard pick six by Bobby Wagner, and the fumble at the…
Tagged with: Bobby Wagner, Jeff Wilson, Kyle Shanahan, Nick Mullens, Richie James, Rob!!!, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Bend Over, Here It Comes Again
The 49ers make their annual trek to Seattle this weekend for their annual trouncing by the Seahawks. This will be the seventh consecutive year of embarrassment and futility up north. At the beginning of the season, it looked like things…
Tagged with: CJ Beathard, Dickhead Sherman, Earl Thomas, Michael Bennett, Nick Mullens, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
As the Alex Turns
The first week of the 2018 offseason has passed quietly into history, taking with it all the nothingness of its existence. Although, to be fair, 1,063,462 persons around the globe croaked last week, so perhaps the week has significance to…
Tagged with: 49ers, Alex Smith, Jared Goff, Jimmy Garoppolo, Kansas City Chiefs, Kirk Cousins, Patrick Mahomes, Russell Wilson
Posted in Vacant Observations
Posted in Vacant Observations
Seahawks 12, 49ers 9
The earth shook. The mountains trembled. Zeus fondled his lightning bolt. Time stood still. And there it was. With eleven minutes left in the 4th quarter in Seattle, the 49ers took a 9-6 lead. Zounds! Then Russell Wilson said, “Screw…
Tagged with: 49ers, Brian Hoyer, Jim Harbaugh, Kyle Shanahan, Russell Wilson, Seahawks, Sean McVay, Zeus
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Coming Attractions
The 49ers have not had a franchise QB since Steve Young was knocked out of the NFL by Aeneas Williams at Arizona in 1999. They won’t have one this year, either. Making it 19 straight years with a deficiency at…
Tagged with: 49ers, Aeneas Williams, Alex Smith, Brian Hoyer, CJ Beathard, Colin Kaepernick, George Kittle, Jeff Garcia, Joe Montana, Joe Williams, John Lynch, Kyle Shanahan, Russell Wilson, Steve Young, Trent Baalke
Posted in FOS Speculation
Posted in FOS Speculation
And the Least Shall Be Last
The 49ers and Cardinals meet tonight in a battle for the basement in the NFC West. That the Niners are engaged in this sort of tawdry affair is no surprise, but Arizona has been a surprise disappointment thus far in…
Tagged with: 49ers, Arik Armstead, Bruce Arians, Cardinals, Carlos Hyde, Carson Palmer, Dak Prescott, Deforest Buckner, Drew Stanton, Glenn Dorsey, Jake Delhomme, Jim Mora, Navorro Bowman, Quinton Dial, Russell Wilson, Trent Baalke
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Dink and Dunker Special
The 49ers haven’t won a game in Seattle since the 2011 season. They swept the Seahawks that year, split with them the next two years, and were skunked in 2014 and 2015. Still, our boys have a golden opportunity to…
Tagged with: 49ers, Ahmad Brooks, Cam Newton, Christine Michael, Marshawn Lynch, Russell Wilson, Seattle Seahawks
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Trivial Pursuits
The AFC SB contestants are a never ending parade of Peyton Manning teams, Tom Brady, and Ben Roethlisberger, with a one year fluke appearances by Joe Flacco, Trent Dilfer, and Rich Gannon. Going on 16 years now. Just those 3.03…
Tagged with: 49ers, Aaron Rodgers, Ben Roethlisberger, Brad Johnson, Cam Newton, Chip Kelly, Colin Kapernick, Donovan McNabb, Drew Brees, Eli Manning, Jake Delhomme, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Joe Flacco, Kerry Collins, Kurt Warner, Matt Hasselbeck, Peyton Manning, Rex Grossman, Rich Gannon, Russell Wilson, Scot McCloughan, Tom Brady, Trent Baalke, Trent Dilfer
Posted in Delusional Therapy
Posted in Delusional Therapy
Seahawks 29, 49ers 13
The 49ers kept their road record perfect on Sunday in Seattle, losing 29-13 for their fifth consecutive road loss. Once again, it was the defense that led the way to defeat as Seahawks backup RB Thomas Rawls bulled through them…
Tagged with: Blaine Gabbert, Colin Kaepernick, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Mike Nolan, Mike Singletary, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Thomas Rawls, Trent Baalke, Vance McDonald
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Seahawks 20, 49ers 3
The San Francisco 49ers’ two game flirtation as a bona fide NFL entity came to a screeching halt Thursday night as the Seattle Seahawks pounded them into oblivion, ravaged their village, stole their manhood, ran off with their wives, and…
Tagged with: Bill Parcells, Colin Kaepernick, Jed York, Jim Tomsula, Marshawn Lynch, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks, Trent Baalke
Posted in Post Game Spread
Posted in Post Game Spread
Big Ass Parade
49er QB Colin Kaepernick laid a huge ass egg last Sunday in Arizona. He’s taken a big ass beating from the press all week because of it. An agonizing event like that can break a guy. Or it can be…
Tagged with: 49ers, Ahmad Brooks, Arizona Cardinals, Colin Kaepernick, Eric Mangini, Green Bay Packers, Jim Tomsula, Larry Fitzgerald, Navorro Bowman, Reggie Bush, Russell Wilson
Posted in Game Previews
Posted in Game Previews
Jed York Sucks
The long offseason begins. Seeing Russell Wilson and the Seahawks discover Sunday that they were not an invincible force was a pleasant send off to the 2014 year. There’s nothing sweeter than seeing a bunch of crass and arrogant blowhards…
Tagged with: Art Rooney, Greg Roman, Jed York, Jerry Jones, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Irsay, Jim Tomsula, Robert Kraft, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Trent Baalke
Posted in Vulcan Mind Probes
Posted in Vulcan Mind Probes
Fools Rush In
The 49ers are in a pickle. Or at least us fans are. The team is run by an insecure boy owner trying to fill his Uncle Eddie’s shoes and an insecure GM trying to prove he deserves the job for…
Tagged with: Adam Gase, Bobby Wagner, Dan Quinn, Darrell Bevell, Drew Brees, Gus Bradley, Jed York, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Tomsula, Josh McDaniels, Kyle Shanahan, Marshawn Lynch, Pete Carmichael, Rex Ryan, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Scot McCloughan, Sean Payton, Todd Bowles, Tom Brady, Trent Baalke, Vic Fangio
Posted in The Usual Suspects
Posted in The Usual Suspects
Unclean Hands
Easter has come and gone and all across the country, Christians are resuming their sinful ways. Heathens are presumably just facing yet another week on the road to hell, no different than any other wicked and empty set of days.…
Tagged with: Aldon Smith, Andrew Luck, Chris Culliver, Colin Kaepernick, Jadeveon Clowney, Mario Williams, Pete Carroll, Peyton Manning, Quinton Patton, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers
Posted in Lunatic Ravings
Posted in Lunatic Ravings
Dumpster Diving
The 49ers have been shopping for WRs and CBs the past few days without much success. Apparently, WRs aren’t particularly enchanted about being the 3rd WR on a team that hardly ever uses more than two. This might put a…
Tagged with: Blaine Gabbert, Bo Jackson, Chris Cook, Colin Kaepernick, Deion Sanders, Eric Wright, Jonathan Martin, Mario Manningham, Michael Jordan, Russell Wilson, San Francisco 49ers, Steve Smith
Posted in Waltzing Matilda
Posted in Waltzing Matilda