Blog Archives

49ers 17, Washington 13

The 49ers pulled another game out of their rear ends Sunday afternoon, stunning the disinterested Santa Clara minglers by scoring their first fourth quarter TD of the year! and oozing out a late victory. After falling behind 13-10, old guy

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Washington Circus Comes To Town

Washington comes to town this weekend to remind us all that, whatever our problems are or are perceived to be, some franchises have infinitely worse crap to deal with. This game should be a walkover, but the 49ers don’t do

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Posted in Game Previews

Meet Me In St. Louis

Last year, the St. Louis Rams recorded 53 sacks. This year, after four games, they have ONE! Uno potahto, baby! DE Robert Quinn had 19 sacks last year. This year, ZERO! It must be that multi-million dollar contract upgrade he

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Posted in Game Previews

49ers 27, Whatchamacallits 6

Look, Ma, a passing game! The 49ers found one in Washington Monday night, as well as a pass rush, and they whipped the Whatevers 27-6, regaining the sixth playoff seed held for a mere 24 hours by the Arizona Cardinals.

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Posted in Post Game Spread

The Fallen Idols Bowl

Now that fans have expressed their outrage over losing a game nobody expected us to win in the first place, it’s time to move along to the next opponent. One that the 49ers specialize in beating — a losing team.

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Posted in Game Previews

Hazmat Warning

The Houston Texans, to our knowledge, are not appreciably different than any other Texans living in the state that, by position and shape, looks like a giant, loose turd squeezing forth from the butt of America. Perhaps they feel that

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Posted in Game Previews

All Wanking Spanners to the Plow

We’re almost there. Eight days until Training Camp starts and the 2013 season opens for business. If memory serves, the rookies report in first, followed a couple days later by the veterans. The most anticipated scene of the first day

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Don’t Mention It

As previously noted, the Detroit Lions will be coming to the Bay Area this weekend for a nationally televised Sunday night butt whipping. Not to be out done by this generous gesture of voluntary humiliation, Alex Smith will provide three

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Posted in FOS Speculation

The Betting Window Is Open

[UPDATE: Monday evening the 49ers signed Randy Moss to a one year contract. See the comment section for the various thoughts of Outsider readers regarding this unexpected development.] Tuesday at 4:00pm EDT, the 2012 Free Agency gates swing open, freeing

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Posted in FOS Speculation
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs. Carolina, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 17: at Seattle, 1:25 p.m.
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams, 5:25 p.m.
Oct. 1: at Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis, 10 a.m.
Oct. 15: at Washington, 10 a.m.
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2016 Prognostications
Closest To The Pin
  Grumpy: 3-13
  Spitblood: 3-13
  Winder: 3-13
Bakkentom: 0-16
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 8-8, 7-9, 9-7, 10-6
Mr Fletch: 4-12
NJ49er: 5-11
Phil Fan: 4-12
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 7-9
Skeebers: 6-10

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