Blog Archives

Saints 41, 49ers 23

The 49ers finally played a defense as nearly awful as their own Sunday, but it did not prevent them from streaking to their seventh consecutive loss. The Saints piled up 571 yards on the Niners, with the usual 200+ on

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Cowboys 24, 49ers 17

For one shining quarter, the Chip Kelly offense lived up to its hype. The 49ers roared out to a 14-0 lead, scoring their second TD one minute into the second quarter. From there on out, it was Cowboys 24 and

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Seahawks 37, 49ers 18

The Seahawks hadn’t scored a touchdown in their first two games of the season, but it only took three plays and 43 seconds to remedy that ailment against the inept 49ers Sunday in Seattle. They added three more, tossed in

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 28, Rams 0

Well, that was surprising. Not the victory so much as the magnitude of it. Chip Kelly and Blaine Gabbert, two NFL entities pretty much consigned to the scrap heap by league “experts” and “insiders,” stuck the old thumb in the

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Up the Down Staircase

The 49ers currently have 39 players on the squad that were selected from the 2013 – 2016 drafts. NaVorro Bowman is the only guy left from the 2010 draft. Nobody left from 2008, 2009, and 2012. Only Colin Kaepernick, Daniel

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Posted in FOS Speculation

The Bust Maker

The 49ers haven’t come right out and admitted it, but their inactions during the Free Agency period have made it clear they have no intention of trying to be competitive this year. They are not even faking it. The 2016

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Training Camp 2015

The 2014 offseason will close up shop this weekend, taking its rightful place among the darkest chapters in 49er history. A truly ghastly effort by the dirtbag young owner and an insult to 49er fans everywhere. Next up, two weeks

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Posted in Training Camp

Can Anybody Play This Game?

June is here, which means three more months until the grand opening of The Return to Mediocrity Era. Featuring an ever evolving cast of entirely forgettable coaches and players. Hip hip kerplunk! Today, we’ll look at the 2012 Draft class,

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Stepper Uppers Needed

Jed York checked his mouth into rehab after the owners’ meetings last week, so there has been some quiet time these days. Pity. What will we do for amusement? Poor young Jed. A year ago, he was the toast of

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Changing of the Guard

By all accounts, Aldon Smith is having a superman TC so far. That’s the good news. The bad news is multiple reports are predicting a six to eight game suspension for the 2014 season. The silver lining news is that

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Pom Pom Fever

There was a lot of excitement for Jim Harbaugh‘s first season as the 49er HC, but it was muted somewhat by the shortened Training Camp, due to the long battle over the new CBA, which lowered hopes for what he

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Posted in Delusional Therapy

The Big Three

Some 49er fans (and a few beat writers) are skeptical that the team will open up the offense this coming season, spreading it out and running 3-wide formations abundantly. After all, Trent Baalke just drafted a couple more big, bruising

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Baalke’s Big Adventure

Here we are at last. The 2014 NFL Draft will actually, finally, mercifully take place this week, beginning Thursday evening. The 49ers have the 30th pick in the first round and just about nobody expects them to sit waiting to

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Posted in Draft Board

Unclean Hands

Easter has come and gone and all across the country, Christians are resuming their sinful ways. Heathens are presumably just facing yet another week on the road to hell, no different than any other wicked and empty set of days.

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Posted in Lunatic Ravings

New Blood

When the 49ers start the 2014 season, almost half the defense will be different than the one that started the 2013 season. DC Vic Fangio will have his biggest challenge since taking over the job in 2011. The team will

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Mug Shot Patrol

The past week has not been a good one for the 49ers. Train wreck about covers it. On Sunday, OLB extraordinaire Aldon Smith went off the rails yet again, getting arrested in L.A. for a false report of a bomb.

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Posted in The Usual Suspects

Miami Vice

The 49ers are reportedly anxious to get Colin Kaepernick into camp so they can work on his mechanics. Really? They’ve had him for three years now and are just getting around to his mechanics? Hmmmm. This looks suspiciously like a

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Table Scraps

February bids us adieu today and you won’t catch me shedding any tears for this midget month. Condolences to all of you born in this end of the Zodiac squirt. Trust me, it explains everything that’s gone wrong in your

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Scouting Combine Week

The NFL stirs back to life this week with the annual Scouting Combine in Indianapolis. We’ll be hearing about wingspan, 40 yard dash times, bench presses, Wonderlic scores, and a variety of other goofy measurements and drills — all designed

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Posted in Vacant Observations

49ers 23, Panthers 10

The Carolina Panthers came out in the first half geeked up on adrenalin and tried to bully the San Francisco 49ers off the field. Despite all their huffing and puffing, the Niners used an opening drive and a closing drive

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 23, Cardinals 20

The Arizona Cardinals bragged their way to an 11-5 record during the week and labeled themselves the best team in the NFC, but limped off the field Sunday sporting a 10-6 tag and a ticket home for the offseason as

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Posted in Post Game Spread

49ers 19, Seahawks 17

I slept pretty good last night. I wasn’t haunted by visions of that evil bastard Pete Carroll grinning and gloating all the way back to Seattle. Instead, he and his team flew home feeling dented. Not nearly so dominant as

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Posted in Post Game Spread
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas: L 10-40
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia: L 10-33
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona: L 10-20
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants: W 31-21
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle: L 13-24
Dec. 3: at Chicago: W 15-14
Dec. 10: at Houston: W 26-16
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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