Blog Archives

And the Least Shall Be Last

The 49ers and Cardinals meet tonight in a battle for the basement in the NFC West. That the Niners are engaged in this sort of tawdry affair is no surprise, but Arizona has been a surprise disappointment thus far in

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Posted in Game Previews

Packers 21, 49ers 10

After sitting out the offseason, and Training Camp, and the preseason, and the National Anthem, Colin Kaepernick finally returned to action Friday night and made a strong case for sitting out the regular season, too. And that’s your 49er highlight

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Up the Down Staircase

The 49ers currently have 39 players on the squad that were selected from the 2013 – 2016 drafts. NaVorro Bowman is the only guy left from the 2010 draft. Nobody left from 2008, 2009, and 2012. Only Colin Kaepernick, Daniel

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Standing Pat

Two weeks into the FA period, it looks like GM Trent Baalke has concluded that last year’s 5-11 record wasn’t the least bit his fault. No, the roster’s fine. The record was all the fault of Jim Tomsula and Colin

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Training Camp 2015

The 2014 offseason will close up shop this weekend, taking its rightful place among the darkest chapters in 49er history. A truly ghastly effort by the dirtbag young owner and an insult to 49er fans everywhere. Next up, two weeks

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Posted in Training Camp

Coming Soon: The Not Harbaugh Era

The NFC West has one team that knows it will be in the playoffs, one team that assumes it will make the playoffs, and one team that hopes to make the playoffs. And one team that will be wildly enthusiastic

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Posted in Training Camp

Can Anybody Play This Game?

June is here, which means three more months until the grand opening of The Return to Mediocrity Era. Featuring an ever evolving cast of entirely forgettable coaches and players. Hip hip kerplunk! Today, we’ll look at the 2012 Draft class,

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Stepper Uppers Needed

Jed York checked his mouth into rehab after the owners’ meetings last week, so there has been some quiet time these days. Pity. What will we do for amusement? Poor young Jed. A year ago, he was the toast of

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Changing of the Guard

By all accounts, Aldon Smith is having a superman TC so far. That’s the good news. The bad news is multiple reports are predicting a six to eight game suspension for the 2014 season. The silver lining news is that

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Ravens 23, 49ers 3

On second thought, bring back the offseason! The 49ers suffered their ugliest loss since the first game of the Harbaugh Era, back in 2011 against the Saints. That game was 24-3 and this one was 23-3. Jim Harbaugh is now

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Class Consciousness

We’re seven weeks into the 2013 season and the league picture is coming into focus. Unlike America, which seems bent on destroying the middle class, the NFL, which prefers parity, has a solid block of middle class teams. In the

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Posted in FOS Speculation

49ers 31, Titans 17

The 49ers flicked aside the Tennessee Titans Sunday 31-17 in a game that was surprisingly ho-hum. A real meat and potatoes special. Some running, some passing, some dumb opponent penalties, an interception, a special teams TD, and some great defense.

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Roster Massage

Six games into the season and nine teams are spinning their wheels at 3-3. That’s good enough for first place in the NFC East now and maybe even all season long. Two teams are a perfect 6-0, Denver and Kansas

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Alas, Poor Yorick

Watching former 49er head coach Mike Nolan’s Atlanta defense get shredded Monday night by the Jets(!) and failing to protect the lead in the last two minutes of the game was a painful reminder that it was not so long

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Morning After Pill

Seattle proved Sunday night that they have the loudest bunch of drunks in the world. Their football team, however, has yet to prove they are even a .500 club away from home. They weren’t last year, going 3-5 on the

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Posted in Delusional Therapy

Halfway to the Beginning

I’d like to say that the 49er offense looks okay and the defense looks great, but we haven’t really seen either one of them play much through two exhibition games. It’s been one series and off to the bench for

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Posted in Training Camp

Football Is Back

As the 2013 NFL Offseason stinks quietly into the murky depths of history, it’s time to dust off the pom-poms and give it the old sis, boom, bah. Another exciting season of 49er football is about to begin. This year’s

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Posted in Training Camp

Roster Roulette

Last year, the 49ers returned all 22 starters on offense and defense. Ergo sumatra, there was no place for any of the 2012 rookies to squeeze into the starting lineup. That’s not the case this year. There are three vacancies

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Posted in Noggin Scratching

Class of 2013

The 49ers had three distinct areas of need (D-line, FS, and TE) going into the 2013 Draft and they addressed all three areas in the first two days. Whether the dresses added improve the comeliness of the product to the

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Posted in Draft Reaction
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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