Blog Archives

Trivial Pursuits

The AFC SB contestants are a never ending parade of Peyton Manning teams, Tom Brady, and Ben Roethlisberger, with a one year fluke appearances by Joe Flacco, Trent Dilfer, and Rich Gannon. Going on 16 years now. Just those 3.03

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Posted in Delusional Therapy

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

The enormity of the 49ers’ FO blunder in firing Jim Harbaugh has probably sunk in by now at 4949 Centennial Blvd. At least it should have. It’s also unfortunately possible that Jed York and Trent Baalke are so drunk with

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Posted in Angst 101

Custer’s Last Stand

Tuning into the Seattle game this Sunday has all the allure to a 49er fan as a trip to a Third World dentist. Unless you’re a sadomasochist, this is not going to be a pleasant experience. As I see it,

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Posted in Game Previews

Broncos 42, 49ers 17

I haven’t turned off a 49er game in the third quarter since probably as far back as the Mike Nolan era, but this puppy was going nowhere fast and when Colin Kaepernick tossed an interception and the Broncos immediately cashed

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Bronc Skinner Blues

The 49ers have given the Eagles their only defeat this year, as well as the Cowboys their sole blemish. If this Sunday night’s opponent, the Broncos, hadn’t already lost a game, I’d feel confident the Niners would whip them. But

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Posted in Game Previews

49ers 31, Rams 17

For the third straight game, the 49ers dug themselves into a 14 point hole, then methodically clawed their way out and won. This time, they were down 14-0 after the first quarter and looked to be heading into the half

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Posted in Post Game Spread

Changing of the Guard

By all accounts, Aldon Smith is having a superman TC so far. That’s the good news. The bad news is multiple reports are predicting a six to eight game suspension for the 2014 season. The silver lining news is that

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Posted in Mindless Drivel

Reading the Fine Print

I guess Colin Kaepernick is going to be the 49er QB for awhile. His parents are probably out mansion hunting as we very speak. That’s our boy! And let’s hear it for franchise MVP Paraag Marthe, who once again delivered

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Unclean Hands

Easter has come and gone and all across the country, Christians are resuming their sinful ways. Heathens are presumably just facing yet another week on the road to hell, no different than any other wicked and empty set of days.

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Posted in Lunatic Ravings

Strategic Failure

Draft guru Mike Mayock has pronounced this the deepest NFL draft he’s seen in ten years. We’ll presume, for the sake of argument, that Mr. Mayock’s eyesight has gotten a recent approval from his optometrist and that his basement houses

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Posted in Delusional Therapy

19th Hole

I’ve been coping with the desultory end to the 2013 season by gorging on a marathon session of the TV drama Dexter on Netflix. Watching our serial killer hero, the “Bay Harbor Butcher,” stab and dismember one bad guy after

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Posted in Vacant Observations

They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?

Glad that’s over with. 49er fans have been correct: the football season ended two weeks ago, when the two best teams in the NFL went 15 rounds in Seattle. This game was a true mismatched clunker. Before the game, Joe

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Posted in Vacant Observations

Bystander Blues

I’ll be rooting for Denver in Sunday’s Super Bowl. Mostly because I despise the Seahawks. I’d like to see them beaten, and embarrassed would be even better. Tawdry, perhaps, but true. But the fate of the Seahawks casts a shadow

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Posted in FOS Speculation

Quarterfinal Weekend

Cam Newton vs Colin Kaepernick. Tom Brady vs Andrew Luck. Peyton Manning vs Phillip Rivers. Russell Wilson vs Drew Brees. Wow. The Divisional Quarterfinals looks like a Home Run Derby of QBs. The AFC matchups don’t figure to lend much

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Posted in Game Previews

On The Road

Welcome to 2014, fellow Outsiders! We are now in the sudden death time of year. Each 49er game might be the last we see them until next August. Scary. It’s also 0-0 time and any team can catch fire, luck,

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Posted in Game Previews

Gaggers Weekend

No matter how boring the playoff races seem at the beginning of December, somehow the final two or three weekends come out dripping with excitement. Because weird shit happens. Every year. Last week, the Denver Mannings led off by gagging

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Posted in Around the League

Antepenultimate Hour

Seattle was understandably upset by getting knocked off their own self-proclaimed pedestal last Sunday, but Arizona might have been even more disappointed. The Cardinals expected a 49er defeat, which would have forged a tie between the two teams for one

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Posted in Around the League

Nail Biting Yawner

The last time the 49ers played the Tennessee Titans, RB Chris Johnson was chugging along toward a 2,000 yard season and Vince Young was the QB. They came to Candlestick with a 1-6 record and beat us 34-27. Each team

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Posted in Game Previews

Quarterly Report

25% of the season is in the books and the 49ers are 2-2 — two dominant wins and two dominant losses. Who the heck are these guys? Contenders or pretenders? The next five games should answer the question. HOU, AZ,

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Posted in Around the League

Dancing with the Stars

As most fans are aware, blog superstar Alex Smith will be coming into our view Friday as QB of the Kansas City Chiefs, our second preseason opponent. For the Smith Haters, this will be a chance to root against the

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Posted in FOS Speculation

All Wanking Spanners to the Plow

We’re almost there. Eight days until Training Camp starts and the 2013 season opens for business. If memory serves, the rookies report in first, followed a couple days later by the veterans. The most anticipated scene of the first day

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Posted in Waltzing Matilda

Open Wide

The 49ers will be having OTAs this week, Tuesday through Thursday. It’s my duty to report these things, even if all of you could care less. There was a time these spring practices were informative, even festive. But those days

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Posted in Vacant Observations
2017 Schedule
Sept. 10: vs Carolina: L 3-23
Sept. 17: at Seattle: 9-12
Sept. 21: vs. L.A. Rams: L 39-41
Oct. 1: at Arizona: L 15-18
Oct. 8: at Indianapolis: L 23-26
Oct. 15: at Washington: L 24-26
Oct. 22: vs. Dallas, 1:05 p.m.
Oct. 29: at Philadelphia, 10 a.m.
Nov. 5: vs. Arizona, 1:05 p.m.
Nov. 12: vs. N.Y. Giants, 1:25 p.m.
Week 11 — Bye
Nov. 26: vs. Seattle, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 3: at Chicago, 10 a.m.
Dec. 10: at Houston, 10 a.m.
Dec. 17: vs. Tennessee, 1:25 p.m.
Dec. 24: vs. Jacksonville, 1:05 p.m.
Dec. 31: at L.A. Rams, 1:25 p.m.
 
2017 Draft Class
1. DE Solomon Thomas
1. ILB Reuben Foster
3. CB Ahkello Witherspoon
3. QB C.J. Beathard
4. RB Joe Williams
5. TE George Kittle
5. WR Trent Taylor
6. DT D.J. Jones
6. LB Pita Taumoepenu
7. CB Adrian Colbert
 
2017 Prognostications
Bullit: 5-11
Chuck: 9-7
Grumpy: 4-12
Mr Fletch: 5-11
NJ49er: 6-10
Rob: 9-7
RTFirefly: 5-11
Skeebers: 6-10
Winder: 4-12

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